Hi guys I'm still in the process of coming out and have come out to my two very best friends and want to come out to the rest of my friend group, but don't quite know how's best to; I don't want to prioritise some in the group over the others because I'm equally close to all of them. I don't see them too often and when we do, we're often out somewhere for a reason, so I don't want to come out somewhere and steal the thunder of whatever event it is. I was thinking of sending them letters but I don't know how good they are with post, and I also thought about an email but equally I don't know how often they look at their emails. I was thinking about a group Facebook message but that feels too casual and they could be anywhere when they read it. Can you guys think of anything I haven't, or perhaps suggest why I might be wrong with some of my above ideas? Thanks!
I think the best idea would be to invite them all over an tell them. If you are nervous telling them face to face, I think a facebook message is a good way or even a group text. I mean, people announce pregnancies on facebook right? I mean, I feel like that is pretty important.
I always prefer the face-to-face myself, but I did mine one by one and not all together. If that's too difficult to arrange, and not everyone will necessarily be able to come to any particular invitation, then maybe a group text would be better. Text is better than email or FB as it's immediate, and replies will be seen by the whole group.
When you come out to your friends do you think it will be a big deal for them or not? If not then maybe sending out in writing (especially by mail) would be interpreted as you making a bigger thing of it than you need to. If on the other hand you think your friends will make a big issue, it could be overwhelming to do face to face as a group, especially in a public space so maybe an email would be better. If you're not so sure but think it could be somewhere in between maybe you could invite your friends together for a "coming out party". Using a bit of comedy can lighten it up and prepare people for the fact that this is important to you but it doesn't have to be a major drama. Whatever you decide to do, just be yourself and try not to get carried away by giving your friends the "gay guy" they expect, instead of just the same you that happens to date men now.
Face to face would be preferable. I came out to one close friend via text (I was backed into a corner though so felt like I didn't have another option) and not being able to get a reaction in real time was very painful for me. So I'd find a way to communicate with them individually, either organise a gathering and tell them 1 by 1 (which is what I did for the wider circle of friends) or you could do a group announcement but I think the first option would be better and more personal. Failing that maybe call them and talk on the phone (though personally I think face to face is better.) Perhaps if your best friends are in the same group ask for their advice (my best friends gave encouragement and reassurance when I was coming out to others.)
Well, I'd say probably invite them over to tell them, or you could invite them out somewhere and tell them that it's to tell them something important. You could try potentially doing it one by one, but if you don't see each other often, that may be a bit difficult to plan.
Hey guys - thanks for all the replies to this I think I'm slowly coming round to the idea that I might not be able to tell everybody at once, but I hadn't thought of TheMatthew's idea of actually having an event just for that. Calf also makes a good point about not making it seem like too big a deal by writing a letter - I'm hoping that it won't be a big deal for them, so perhaps a casual approach would be OK. Thanks again for all the replies - it's much appreciated (&&&)
