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Gay "bears" not getting recognition

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by anthonybg, Oct 11, 2016.

  1. anthonybg

    anthonybg Guest

    I've noticed that the media depicts gay men/boys as slim, feminine, hairless... you know what I mean! I don't mind any of that, I just find it a bit offending for "thicker" guys like myself. :grin: It makes me feel ugly. Like I'm being part of the "dark side" of homosexuality that gays don't really talk about and honestly, I've heard some gay guys' opinions on that - they find it "disgusting", which I hope, is not the general point of view.

    Don't you agree that all kinds of gay people should be given credit in social aspect?
     
  2. gravechild

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    One reason behind this might be that bears are less threatening (or more so, if your goal is to be able to tell someone is gay easily), and are able to "compete" with straight men on some level. It's far easier to laugh someone off if they're painted as being effeminate, child-like, silly.

    Otherwise, people outside the community aren't aware of all the subcultures, body types, etc. Trust me, femme lesbians get the same crap, with the added bonus of being blamed for "hot lesbian" stereotypes, and having creepy guys coming onto them all the time.

    I think some of the more popular gay men in the media sit comfortably between drag queen and leather bear, personally.
     
  3. kibou97

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    Very rarely do I find myself actually find myself liking gay characters in the general media. Things are looking a bit up but the majority of gay characters/media personalities are just the same kind of effiminate personalities and to me feels like it's less validating for the other people in the gay community who don't fit into that stereotype and I just end up feeling frustrated as a result. There was a period in time when I was coming to terms with being gay where I had dificulty accepting myself because I don't really act like that stereotype. It gets insanely annoying. That being said though, I do really like gravechild's response to this.
    Also, while they still fall under the same personality type most gay characters have, I have seen a few sitcoms which also featured thick guys.
     
    #3 kibou97, Oct 11, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2016
  4. Secrets5

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    There's Dave [Karofskee] in GLEE.
     
    #4 Secrets5, Oct 12, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2016
  5. PatrickUK

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    I would also suggest that bears don't seek a lot of recognition. They don't exclude themselves from the LGBT community, but they don't put themselves right out there either. It's not something they want or need. In my experience bears (and bear admirers) know where to find each other.

    Some of the best guys I know are members of the bear community.
     
  6. AlamoCity

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    In a way, I think media representation always falls on stereotypes. Plus, I think there is a sort of self-selection bias wherein most gay people who go into acting might represent this twinkish/skinny body type because it is reinforced in the media as to what "sells" (in terms of finding acting jobs. I would also say most of the guys I peg as gay tend to fit the stereotype.

    I would almost consider myself a "bear," but I have lost some weight and at 5'9 170lbs, I think I may be more of an "otter." When it comes to personal preference, I do tend to prefer hairier, stockier guys (not too skinny, not too thick), but it's the whole package that matters (pun not intended). If I'm being honest, femininity is a bigger issue.
     
  7. DarkWater

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    You forgot white.
     
  8. Rainbows~Exist

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    This.
     
  9. Cinis

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    I think it's mostly because if there's a gay character on television he has to be..you know 'gay'. He can't just be a regular guy like everyone else who just happens to be gay.
    The media is taking it's steps towards good portrayal of diverse and LGBT characters. But it's going in pretty small steps.
     
  10. Xochipilli

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    I have noticed a shift in how gay characters are portrayed in a few of the shows I've watched recently. They're only minor characters, but they're shown as average guys. I think it's good to have it all! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
    And bears are not disgusting. If I had to pick a group to date for the rest of my life, I'd pick the bears. :lol:
     
  11. faustian1

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    I think I fit into the "bear" stereotype. It wasn't until a few years ago that I even figured out that term, "otter."

    It's still, in my opinion, uproariously funny that one of the most homophobic states in the U.S., Idaho, has a governor named "Butch Otter."
     
  12. mangotree

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    Maybe the non-feminine bears are in the media but you just don't realise - because they blend in more and keep their private lives private.
     
  13. AKTodd

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    Depictions of gay men in TV and film have kept changing over the years, and depending on the type of show, in my experience.

    Ignoring the shows that went out of their way to depict gay men as some form of mentally diseased and pathetic aberrations, over the years I've seen:

    a) Gay men as effeminate and 'artsy' - this was/is popular in dramas and crime shows, usually for minor/supporting characters in a single episode.

    b) Gay men as effeminate and 'fabulous' - this was/is popular in comedies, wither on TV or in films. The Gay Best Friend/secondary character/whatever who always has a snappy one-liner and fits a lot of the stereotypes.

    c) Gay men as hyper-controlled, unemotional near-robots - this was popular in the 80s and 90s. Think the gay character on the first iteration of Melrose Place or some of the other evening dramas of the day. There were also some number of guest stars on crime dramas and similar. They may be gay as a 'told' trait, but never do anything to show it or really that they have much of a social life at all.

    d) Gay men as masculine 'dudes' or 'bros' who are generally very fit and good looking and non-effeminate. They may be military, police, firefighters, etc. Depending on when the show aired, they may have no more social life than the hyper-controlled gays of earlier eras or may be depicted holding hands/hugging/staring into the eyes of another guy and very rarely kissing.

    e) Gay men as just regular guys (insofar as TV/film depicts 'regular guys'). They are usually young, slim to average, and don't fit any of the stereotypes (indeed a good chunk of the show or movie is often spent going over all the stereotypes they don't fit, usually via a friend or friends who bring the stereotypes up). But they rarely have much of a romantic life, with that again often being the basis for the plot of the show.

    Taking all this together, I think that TV and film don't really know how to depict gay men (or LGBT people in general) in a way that shows them as both regular folks and people with love lives (and sex lives). Still, there has been progress over time.

    Hopefully we will all live to see prime time shows with gay characters of all types that are shown as complete people with all their facets.

    Todd
     
  14. midwestgirl89

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    I agree that all gay people of any type should get representation. There aren't enough PoC bi/gay men, disabled b/g men, "bear" b/g men, etc. The media thrives on stereotypes. It's not bad to fit stereotypes on TV at all but yeah people all deserve representation.
     
  15. Gravity

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    This is very much true in my experience. Bears and affiliates tend to group off in their own spaces - which goes back a long ways, when the creation of the subculture happened precisely so that bearish types could find each other, or others would know where to find them, and ultimately so that going out to a gay bar as a bear would feel normal.

    I have, to be fair, noticed some bears blending back into what I guess you would call "mainstream" gay culture and locations, but on the whole it's still fairly separate.
     
  16. RainbowsFactory

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    I totally agree that everybody within any community should be treated equally and with respect!

    Personally, I find bears super hot and I really love thicker / chubby guys so, I guess it depends on preference. Just remember that there are people like me that love bears! :grin:
     
  17. joey69

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    I agree X10!!! :slight_smile: