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My ex's new boyfriend is sort of bullying me, Please help-_-

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by clavaboi, Oct 10, 2016.

  1. clavaboi

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    So, i the boyfriend that i dated previously for about 3 years. Having a bit of a problem now. we broke up months ago and the breakup was shitty, no closure for me just ghosted away. I was very hurt. Ive been doing really well recently until earlier today.
    So my ex had me blocked on social media for a while and he unblocked about a month ago but i havent looked at his profile for fear that i will see something that hurts me. Well her new bf (actually not new, but a guy he dated during another breakup, we had, for less than two weeks) had me blocked too and i already knew they were back together cause i saw some comments between them at least a month ago (before he blocked me) back when i did stalk my exs profile a little. Anyways, i woke up this morning with a facebook friend request from the new guy. I was very confused so i messaged my ex and said "any idea why he sent me a friend request?" He messaged back "idk" . Okay whatever i didnt even care, i just let it be. Then a few hours later i get a following notification that hes now followed me on instagram. I then message my ex (stupid i know) and said "now hes following me on insta, no reason for that, period. What is the deal" He replies "dude its not my problem, talk to him not me" I told him "i dont want to talk to him, i just want to be left alone" I then go to both of their profiles to block them and they have posted their first pictures together, coincidently just today. The were commenting pet names that he used to use on me. and the dog that we got together that i love and miss dearly is in the background of one of the pictures. I was very upset, and still have no idea why they are even thinking about me enough to do this. I tried to be mature and not react too much, but i just dont know why either of them had the heart or motivation to try and do this. Social media is terrible i know, but since this happened i could use some good advice on how i can deal with the pain. I was doing so good alone and now i feel absolutely heartbroken, right back where i started:confused: Thank you and i hope you can not be too hard on me about this if you do reply, I am sensitive
     
    #1 clavaboi, Oct 10, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2016
  2. A Republican

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    Oh that sucks, here's virtual hug (*hug*)

    Best way to get over heartbreak (and that was really sad and somewhat cruel to read) from personal experience is to get out for some fresh air. Walk in a park or somewhere where you can allow yourself to move on from this bad experience. It takes time but you need to let go of your ex in order for it to work and blocking them both is a good way to start. I'm not entirely sure why his bf is following you around however, has he messaged / talked to you?
     
  3. clavaboi

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    Thank you for the hug and tips:slight_smile:
    And no he hasn't messaged me or talked to me at all, ive never even seen the dude in real life either. Its really odd to me:confused: Cant help but feel like they are trying to mess with my head or something
     
    #3 clavaboi, Oct 10, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2016
  4. A Republican

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    Maybe the intention was to be friendly (although I'm just being optimistic here since it's odd given the circumstances especially since you've never met) but honestly you won't get your ex out of your head if his new bf is following you around on social media. He'll only remind you of your ex even if his intentions are good.
     
  5. Poppy43

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    I think the boyfriend was probably being nosy and trying to stir things/cause trouble. I'd be keeping them both blocked from now on and dont be looking at their profiles ever so that you can move on.
    I've had a similar situation with an ex boss who couldnt stand me then sent me a Friend request after I had left a job. I knew damn well that she was basically being nosy and she had tried to delete the request but it left a shadow. Anyway I just locked down my profile to very private and didnt reply.
    Try not to think about it and get out and about etc.
     
  6. Hushhh

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    I guess your ex's current squeeze is just insecure. Maybe he caught your ex viewing your profile and got paranoid, maybe he is afraid your ex would do to him the same thing he did to you. Anyway, bottomline is his insecurities don't concern you. So just continue to be beautiful. Chin up!
     
    #6 Hushhh, Oct 10, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2016
  7. Calf

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    This is what I was thinking when I read over your post. Probably he feels the need to see what he has to stand up to, check out the competition.

    It's insensitive but it's their issue now so you should just look past it and focus on your future happiness.

    Alternatively he may just be a player. Maybe he thinks he can seduce you too or something along those lines. Best advice if that is the case would be to stay well away, regardless of the offer or temptation. You are still too emotionally involved to play those sort of games and so it would be you that suffered the most.

    Similarly, if he does have good intentions and wants to build a bridge then take it slowly and cautiously. You don't have to be rude but that doesn't mean you have to be a people pleaser and do whatever they want. Just do what feels right for you.
     
  8. 108

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    I would block him and the ex and continue living. If he follows you on any other media, block every time.
     
  9. clavaboi

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    In no way do I feel like he has good intentions. He may be insecure because my ex dated him for 2 weeks then went back to me, earlier in our relationship. I feel like he was just trying to rub this in my face. It did get to me. On top of that, the way my ex responded seemed like he was saying to take it up with him, and that it's not my problem it's yours. So it felt a bit spiteful. To make matters worse my ex texted me today, asking if I want to buy weed from him. Of course I don't want to buy any weed. Seems totally out of line to even ask since I already told him i just want to be left alone. Do you think he was doing that to bug me or try to get a reaction? I didn't even respond. I just want to be left alone, by both of them..-_-

    ---------- Post added 10th Oct 2016 at 07:52 PM ----------

    So does this mean I'm on there mind or something, because I really don't feel like I should even be a factor if they are happy and he's moved on from me. It seems so odd. Like that's just so weird to me.
     
    #9 clavaboi, Oct 10, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2016
  10. Calf

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    Based on the extra detail, it does sound as though they are just trying to cause trouble. Their actions do sound very childish and they probably aren't as emotionally mature as you are. The problem here is that you will have to just rise above it and move on with your life because however you deal with it, they won't respond appropriately.

    They probably haven't developed the social skills to correctly handle this situation and from the sound of it they don't have a very good foundation for a strong relationship together. It will be hard for you because of the way they are trying to drag you back into their drama but eventually you will probably find that you feel a bit sorry for them. They're not as fortunate as you when it comes to emotional development and likely won't be as happy as you will be soon.
     
  11. clavaboi

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    Sounds quite accurate, and fair enough. I'm actually pretty happy to be away from this person. Its just hard to believe they want anything to do with me, let alone to drag me into their drama. It seems like the new guy would just want me to be long gone so that he can enjoy his time with his new partner, without any interruptions but, his actions say otherwise I guess. I will just keep wondering why why why but I suppose I will never figure out some people. Thanks for your response, friend.
     
    #11 clavaboi, Oct 11, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2016