Hi everyone! I just needed some advice. My best friend (we'll call her Megan) is sending me mixed signals. Please note that none of us have came out as lesbian or bisexual, and as far as both of us are concerned, we are both straight. I never thought I could be attracted to a female in this way. I am typically attracted to men, and usually never any women, but I am extremely attracted to Megan, and I want to be with her. Things she does includes getting close to me, sleeping on my shoulder when we are in the car for long periods of time, resting her head in my lap when we are on the couch (on one occasion) and she was asking me to play with her hair while she was laying on my lap. She used to live with me for two years as she was having troubles at her parent's house, so she moved over 1000 miles away from her home to live with me and my family. Also note that she had plenty of other friends in her hometown to live with, and her dad who lives just an hour away from her mother's house... But she chose to move with me. (We only met because I used to live in her home town before moving away). We have been best friends for about 4 years. She always used to ask me to keep some of my t-shirts (she wears more girly clothes, I wear mainly boy's clothes, however I do not identify as a male in any way), and one time she posted a photo of her in my shirt and the caption said "aww, I still have it"... Which I assume she was referring to the shirt, as there was nothing else I could pick up on. Those are all the good things... But I'm also confused because she says things like "I have a strong hate for lesbians", but I say things like that too in front of her so it doesn't seem obvious she could be doing the same thing...? She also talks to guys, and she currently is getting pretty serious with this guy. I am bisexual, but I'm not sure if she is too, or if she's straight... She sends me these mixed signals and I'm not sure what to do. I know the easy thing would be to come out to her, but I cannot do that at all costs, please don't tell me to do that... It would risk too much. I could say I love this girl, I really want to be with when but I'm not sure what to do :icon_sad: I'm sorry if this is hard to understand, I'm not the greatest writer!
There is really nothing here that sounds like she could be into you or other girls. I think this is one of those situations where you really like her and you are looking for things that aren't really there. I think you should proceed with caution or you may risk your friendship.
Hy Sounds like that's what typical bffs do. I mean for me, My bffs and I used to have dozens of sleepovers a few years back. We would spend weekends, holidays, and even valentine's day together. It could be possible that when we like a person, each move they do becomes magnified. Small contact sends electrical waves to us too. But it could be possible that maybe she chose to move in with you to get away? Sometimes new surroundings tend to be exciting too. On the other hand, she said she has "strong hate for lesbians." Did you ask her what she meant by that? Bcs maybe she hate lesbians but not bisexuals? That is if she knows the difference. I had a bff in college too, one day I confessed to her that I was bi and that I almost fell for her. I was young and didn't know how to deal with that, I Was dating someone else that time too. A week Or two after, we went for a night out with friends, and when we were alone she told me with tears in her eyes that she was sorry bcs she distanced herself, and that she didn't support me like she was supposed to, and that.... she loved me. I hugged her and Told her not to cry and said that of course I loved her too, and added "bcs we are friends." We never talked about it again. i got married, and now we're still friends but not on a bff level anymore. So if you really like her, gather more info first before you decide to either just come out to her, or come out and confess to her. Bcs one way or the other you'd need to face it, there will be a point when you'd want to know if she feels the same way, or not. Bcs if she feels different for you, then you could move on in your own pace and find someone who would give you the love that you deserve. Whether that be a man or a woman. Best if luck!
Like all advice here, I don't think that she's into you or she's not straight. I suggest to take your time. Don't come out to her simply because you like her because of she's not into you and she really hates lesbians then she'll distance herself to you. Having said that, if she's open-minded and likes you a lot to be her bestfriend then you will be in great situation. Although, you have to stop yourself from falling for her deeply. Goodluck.
I was in a similar situation, but my best friend and I ended up going to separate colleges in different states and don't really talk that much anymore, and we've gone our separate ways. Sometimes you have to let things go, which I know is hard if you like her that much
