1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

My transgender daughter started taking ballet

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by Caringmom, Sep 29, 2016.

  1. Caringmom

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2016
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Good afternoon everyone and hope things are going well ,I wanted to share a great thing that happen yesterday with my daughter .She took her first ballet class yesterday in a beginners class with 4 other girls age in range from 9 to my daughters age .I called around to a few ballet schools and only one would accepted my daughter because she is transgender .

    I have no words to describe the smile on my daughters face when after she got home from school and went up to change to put on her black leotard and tights .When she came down stairs all smiles and i gave her a skirt to put on and a top she was like mom i am already dressed but i told her this is what to wear going to dance and coming home from dance .

    I then took her in the bathroom and did her hair into a hair bun for the first time because i told her this is how girls have there hair during dance .She was so happy i was doing her hair like that you have no idea

    So after i was done i was like there you go my little ballerina and she smiled and she started to cry.I was like hone wants wrong so she gives me a big hug and was like thank you for accepting me as your daughter .I told her anytime and as always tell her how beautiful she looks .

    Then at Dance i got to meet the teacher she was very nice and was in her late 20'S and by then the rest of the class came in .So it was the first class and my daughter loved it very much .

    I was wondering if i can get some advice also on a few topics the first thing is my daughter wants a boyfriend .I happen to sit down with her and had a long talk with her and boys .

    I was like first of all honey your only 12 so we can talk about this in a few years and i was like the 2nd is your transgender .She then was like what does have to do with anything and like i told her a lot of boys do not understand about transgender .Then she was like why and had my first mother and daughter and we had the talk and went over a lot of subjects and we talked for like 2 hr .I also told her that there is no harm of talking to me about boys which i told her i will answer any question she has

    Does anyone thing that she will have a lot more question for me down the road On top of that as her being transgender should i be concern about my daughter and crazy about boys at 12 She told me during the talk we had that her #1 goal when she gets older after she has the surgery she wants to get married to a rich guy .She also showed me pictures of the bridesmaid dresses and the wedding gown she has pick out .I did make her laugh and i was like well sweetheart can we please get through your school work first

    My other advice on a another topic so my daughter has been asking me to buy her a bridesmaid dress .She also ask me yesterday on the way home from dance about buying her a dress.

    I keep tell her that a bridesmaid dress is only when your in weddings but she still wants one even if she is not in one

    So then i started to think if i do buy her a bridesmaid dress how many would you agree that i should then have a fancy girls night out with my daughter.

    My daughter since she came out as transgender really has not had a really fancy mother and daughter night out .

    My other question is my daughters hair is getting way to long in the back and has beautiful hair ..So she is a typical teenage girl when i suggest of getting it cut that was like no .I tell her i get my hair done a lot but she really does not give me an answer

    How can i convince of getting at least a trim because the pass 4 talks we have had about her hair have ended in arguments and have gone no were .

    My daughter does not even want me to even curl her hair because i told her with the hair she has i could add so much cute curls but no i really could do wonders with her great hair .

    So any advice would help so much take care and have a great day
     
  2. wolf of fire

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2014
    Messages:
    916
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    here
    Well done to her on her first dance lesson, I think a girl's evening out would be a good idea; you could talk to her about doing her hair for it, she may like the idea.
    I don't know what to suggest about the boy situation but I think this is a common thing for girls her age.
     
  3. loveislove01

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2015
    Messages:
    872
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Earth, probably
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hello Caringmom! It's great that you're so supportive and congrats on the dance lesson :slight_smile:
    1) If it is affordable, it could be very meaningful to your daughter to have a fancy girls night out. It could make her not only feel validated, but also normal and special and loved (more so than already) and become a great memory for you to share.
    2) I mean, its common to link long hair to femininity, and also some people just like having long hair so I think she's fine with that, its her self expression and choice.
    3) Its totally normal to like boys at that age, even younger than that. So her feelings are fine for her age, but if you have dating rules about a certain age, establish them for her, while also keeping communication open.

    This is only my input of course, hoped I could help!