Is "gender neutral" terminology offensive to transwomen?

"You guys" or "Yous guys" in PA, is gender neutral. People use it to refer to any group of more than one person, regardless of gender make up of said group. I could literally walk up to a group of all women, say "Hey, you guys____" and no one would bat an eye.

It's weird, but I hate when people refer to me, in the singular, as "guy." Um, no, that's not my name, please don't. I also hate being called "sir," like no I'm not old thank you.

I know that's not really answering the question though. I guess it depends on the person, but I'd imagine most wouldn't even think anything of it.

 

I can imagine that most females don't care because grammar, you know? But transwomen more because it could cause dysphoria.

 

I can't say much from the female point of view, but both myself and my not-out trans friend (he still presents female) have mini-celebrations when we're referred to as "guys" instead of "ladies". For me, it's validating because I perceive guys as a slightly-male term. I don't think I can see myself referring to a group of women as guys (to be honest I don't think I'd actually use a particular term) but I would and have in the past referred to a group of mixed-gender people as guys - so in my mind, people referred to me and him as "guys" means they are perceiving at least one of us as not being female, which is validating for me.

In regards to using dude/man, I use them as more of expressions than actually referring to the person I'm talking to in that way. For example, I'd say "man, I could really go for pizza" or "dude, that's so awesome!" regardless of the gender of the person I'm talking to. I should imagine that saying "hey, dude" to get someone's attention might be perceived as more gendered. That said though, I really like when people use dude/man back at me because it feels like they're calling ME dude/man, which again makes me feel validated - even though I personally feel the two terms are more gender-neutral when used in that sense.

I guess overall what I'm saying is that I think it'd really depend on the person. I'm in a weird camp of seeing "guys" as more male while seeing "dude/man" as gender-neutral. I think if I ever met a woman I thought was feeling uncomfortable with it, I'd privately ask them if it made them uncomfortable, and if yes I'd try to curb the habit as best as I could. That's what I hope people would do for me if they noticed something they were saying was making me uncomfortable (since I'm very bad at speaking out against someone's actions irl).

Hopefully you'll be able to get some views from transfeminine people or trans women.

 

I think it depends on the person. One got upset because I said "cool story, brah" in a playful manner, and let me know not to do it again. It seems like female pronouns would be a given, and feel validating, for a transfeminine person. I enjoy them, the few times they come my way, even if they seem borderline patronizing (that's because I'm read as male in my daily life).

"You guys" seems pretty neutral, and most women are fine with it, but just ask if you're not sure.

 

Yes, I really dislike masculine gender neutral terms and feel it is highly problematic in a sexist sort of way. However, I am from the UK and I learned fairly old fashioned British English and guys was not commonly used in a gender neutral way in the past. It is now much more commonly used in the UK (as slang) but to me it feels really off and I dislike it.

It does make me dysphoric and uncomortable when people use guys to address a group that includes me and would prefer if people didn't do so. :icon_redf

 

I'm a ciswoman, but I think I can give my opinion on this matter. I used to not feel bad by using masculine "gender neutral" expressions, until I noticed how uncomfortable many girls felt when I used that and they're not just the transgender ones, even the cisgender ladies hated it. I tried to explain to them that it was just an expression and I wasn't reffering to them, but they were still uncomfortable with it. I mean, wouldn't you hate it if you were in a group of people and someone reffered to you all as "hey, girls!"? Why shouldn't the women feel uncomfortable withit too? We're not men.

 

I detest it with a vengeance but then I'm not really the most feminine person.


As others have stated already i would avoid using gender neutral "you guys" or probably even worse a singular"dude" for a transwoman out of respect for her struggles.

I wouldn't use specific feminine terms either unless it's someone that isn't out/can't transition in the near future and would maybe be happy about it.

 

I dislike gender neutrals expression like "guys" we use it in Spanish too so, it's the same shit. Well in Spanish (my mother language) even the expression "they/them" are gendered, so it's a burden.

I don't like when someone use "guys" when I'm in a group.

 

It's never bothered me. It would only bother me if a gender neutral term was obviously substituted where it would have been natural to use a gendered term. Like if someone called me "they" instead of she, that would feel weird. I've never had that happen though. "You guys" is fine and normal and people refer to cis women as "you guys" all the time. I mean maybe it shouldn't be normal but it is so it doesn't offend me per se.

 

If I'm presenting as male like at work I weather it. It makes me feel just weird to be referred to as male in any way but I'm playing the role so I just grit my teeth and change the topic. But if I'm with female friends I'm out to and one of them or some other woman refers to us in general as "guys," I don't mind. A good friend of mine and her friends call each other "dude," too. If someone says I'm a dude, that kind of sucks but if she does it I know she's referring to me as one of her girl friends. That said, I do think it's weird male gendering words can be gender neutral but female gendering words apparently never can. That points up a major language bias in our society. Male and specifically cisgender male is the "default" for all humans? Just weird!

 

You guys/guys is fine with me. When someone calls me dude and I specifically tell them it bothers me and they keep doing it cause they say they do it with everyone. That bothers me a lot.

 

As a transwoman, I personally do not mind the "you guys" or "dude. As a californian I've grown accustomed to calling everyone and even inanimate objects "dude". Where i do draw the line though is "man".

 

I'm a transguy and even though I used to get super excited when people used gendered terms for me at the start of my transition, I don't care much for it now. Especially terms like "young man" annoy me, mostly because they come from older people who do not know me and think I'm teenage boy who's lost his mother while shopping for groceries.
I'm fine with people calling me "dude" and "man" and it's obviously better than female terms, but some people (especially cis guys) overuse those terms to the point of annoyance. Also, please don't call me "brother" or "bro", unless I am in fact your sibling.

 

I don't like "guys", I feel like its only quasi-neutral. I get that cis women call each other that and I get that there's a difference between "are you guys ready to order?" and "guys & girls", but just being referred to as "guy" bothers me. It's not as bad as "man" in any context, or he/him/his". But with everything kind of being on pause due to financial limitations, I'm just stuck being misgendered most of the day.

 

Yes! This is a major annoyance no matter how I'm presenting. Do not like.

 

I object to using "you guys" and stuff like that as gender neutral terms because it's just reinforcing the idea that male is default and male is neutral (like how everything that's considered androgynous is just toned-down masculinity) but, as a trans guy, I love having those terms used to refer to me when I'm in a setting where I'm closeted.

 

I have a group of girl friends and we all refer to each other as dude, man, bruv (okay only one friend says bruv hahah) etc. I never realised how ridiculous that is up till now. We're literally all girls.