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Are my feelings for her mutual?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by vyra, Sep 18, 2016.

  1. vyra

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    I know, I know..
    You're thinking this sounds like a typical clueless teen's thread, (and you're correct) but I'm really unsure as to how this other girl feels about me. My intuition is telling me that she does like me but I'm honestly quite confused! So here's the deal:

    She's two years older than I am, and we both attend the same school.
    I see her around quite a bit and we always catch each others eyes, and end up staring for a while before we break it off.
    She often makes random conversation.
    If we're across the room from each other we somehow ALWAYS end up making eye contact.
    Some friends of mine have told me that they caught her staring at me when I had my back turned.
    She laughs pretty hard at some of my 'comedic' statements
    In a few circumstances there have been some obvious tension between us..
    For example: we were once reading from the same book, but she was too far ahead and so I leaned over to move the page and there was a long awkward pause as I could see her looking at my face whilst I leaned over. Also, there was a time where we were joking around with a group of people, and she put her arm around me and brought me in for a hug whilst joking that we were together. She stayed like this for a while and I also wrapped my arms around her (I still can't believe this happened) and when we eventually broke away, she stayed close to me and mimicked my actions in a joke-y sort of way.
    I understand that the best way for me to know if my feelings are the same as hers is to ask her, but I definitely can't do this, as we are still in school and i'm nowhere near out to anyone. I wouldn't tell her how I feel as I'm worried she might reject me or she'll tell people and I'll be outed to the whole school :icon_redf

    There have been other instances like these but I can't remember them all in great detail so these are the best I have right now! I'd appreciate any help with this or any explanation of signs that another girl has romantic feelings for you. I know body language and eye contact are major, as well as communication. But I don't ever talk to her over text, and the only time we talk face to face is when we are together due to our mutual interests in clubs at school.

    Thank you !!!
     
    #1 vyra, Sep 18, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2016
  2. bubbles123

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    Hmm, it sounds to me like there's a definite possibility she likes you. It's tough since you're still in the closet. You could have a relationship and keep it hidden, although that can be very hard, especially when you'd both be hanging out around other people and it may be hard not to be obvious.
    If this is something you would want to pursue, it would be best if you are able to talk about it a lot with her first to make sure you are on the same page and that she'll keep it secret. To do that, you may have to give it more time so you guys can get on that level to where you can talk about it. Maybe try flirting back in more ways to test the waters and see how she responds.

    Also, I don't know your ages and I'm not saying it will come to that, but just please make sure that everything would be okay with age of consent laws, should you guys enter into a relationship.

    Remember, you shouldn't have to come out for anyone if you don't want to yet, even if someone pressures you. And remember to stay safe<3

    Best of luck!
     
  3. vyra

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    Ah this is super helpful! Thank you so much, I'll try flirting back in other ways from now on (if I can) :lol:
     
  4. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    Firstly, welcome to EC!

    Secondly, it sounds like there could very well be something there. Try to observe how she acts around other girls. Is she that flirty with others or just with you? Of course, as you've mentioned, the only way to know for sure is to ask her directly. But that will out you to her, and whoever else is within earshot at the time.

    Why don't you try to talk about LGBT-related stuff when around her and see how she reacts to that. If her reaction seems positive, then try bubbles123's suggestion of being flirty in other, more obvious ways and see where that takes you.

    Good luck! Please keep us posted :grin:
     
  5. ForNarnia

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    Maybe try asking 'random' questions around her, like "If you had to get with any girl in our year, who would it be?" or, if you want to be straight to the point, "Would you ever date a girl?"

    Also, I'm in full agreement with Ruby Dragon. Asking subtly about LGBT+ stuff could be a huge help.

    (Also had a crush on a girl two years older. That's a weird coincidence haha :grin: Let us know how it turns out!)
     
    #5 ForNarnia, Sep 19, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2016
  6. vyra

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    Thank you!

    And I've observed her actions for a while now and it doesn't seem that she acts the same way around other girls, but I'm not with her 24/7 so I'm not completely confident with my view. :eusa_doh:

    I've talked within a group about LGBT issues and such, and she was present but she didn't seem to have any comment. BUT she did seem a little offended when another girl I know expressed her hate for any non heterosexual people :confused:. I'll definitely try to be more flirty with her in other ways, but I'm not too sure how (without making myself too obvious : /)

    Thank you again and I will definitely keep you up to date !!

    ---------- Post added 19th Sep 2016 at 09:28 AM ----------

    Yes, I'll definitely have to try that, it's just it may seem slightly strange for me to bring it up in conversation as we aren't super close and I'm not usually alone with her !! And I do hope it turns out well, It's just that she'll be going away soon and it's likely I'll never see her again after that :tears:

    I hope we stay in contact though !
     
    #6 vyra, Sep 19, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2016
  7. vyra

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    sorry!! I'm new here and I'm not able to edit the OP for some reason but here's a mini update:

    Today:
    We were in the same room, sitting reasonably close and in a position that meant we could both easily turn our heads to see each other, but not sitting side by side. We were in choir and we are in the same group for singing, so it's normal for us to sit in the same general vicinity. So I sat facing forward, with a friend to my far left and my crush at a diagonal also on my left. And in between singing practice sections, we'd have to demonstrate our harmony along with the rest of the other singers in different groups. For one part we'd sing our harmony with everyone but we'd get lost, so I'd just joke around with my friend and click my fingers to the song instead of singing. At this moment I said : "I'm making this worse aren't I?", and my friend laughed a little at this but I saw my crush was laughing a lot and she actually buckled forwards with laughter !! Also throughout our practice I would see her smiling after I said something jokey-ish to my friend or to myself! I remember at the start of choir she was sat in front of me, so her back was to me but after I left for a minute to get my phone, she was moved to the position I mentioned before.



    Last week:

    We were all practicing for choir and we were standing in rows, but our choir teacher told us to move back to form 2 lines. I remember she was in the row in front of me and there was an empty space to my left, and when the teacher told us to move, I stayed in place and she rushed to the space to my left. Sadly my other friend was faster and closer to me, so she got there first and ended up knocking into my crush slightly, so she was forced to move :bang:


    Last year: (I'm remembering a ton of little things as I'm writing this)

    We were both in our school play, and she was practicing acting out a scene in front of the cast of her getting slapped by another character. When she was slapped it was pretty hard and we were all shocked, but after it was done I remember her looking directly at me and I was surprised so I gestured for her to move her head to one side so I could see where she was slapped on the cheek. She did this straight away when I gestured, and I pulled a shocked face with my mouth open wide, she then turned back after a bit and mimicked the face I was pulling, making me smile :icon_redf
     
  8. loveislove01

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    The thing is, as another teenage girl :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    I feel we tend to overanalyze every little move to fit our hopes, or perceptions of ourselves.
    The best way to know, is simply to ask.
    And it's harder when you're both the same sex, so I suggest you either come out to her, or you subtly suggest the idea of dating another girl and see her response, go from there.

    I do think your relationship is very sweet and it's very well possible she does! Good luck vyra :slight_smile:
     
  9. vyra

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    Yes I am actually worried that I'm over thinking things here, but hopefully not :grin:
    I'll try to hint to her about the concept of dating another girl and I'll observe her reaction carefully!
    Thank you
     
  10. vyra

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    New update:

    Hello! It's been a while since I started this thread but I have some updates. Unfortunately I haven't been seeing her around as much as before but recently I've been bumping into her strangely enough.

    So, recently I've been coming into school to study for some stuff. And on one day, I went to a pretty secluded room with a friend of mine. My friend went up ahead of me as I had to carry some things, and when I got there, my friend was working normally and I put my things down on the desk and made a loud sigh noise. Guess who was there and immediately turned around when I came in? It was my crush. She stopped typing on her computer and it seemed like she got distracted by something...
    I was in this room for a long while, and I had to get up and leave a few times to go and collect things I needed for my work. One time when this happened, my friend happened to be out of the room and it was just me and my crush in there. I left to get my things, and when I came back, I saw her standing up fixing her hair meticulously and as soon as I entered, she immediately sat back down. This was pretty subtle but I noticed these things. On the same day, some more of my friends entered the room, and somehow we started talking about the sexuality of people. My friends were talking about how a guy that they knew might be gay but he seemed really straight, so I suggested that he might be bi, and when this happened, I saw my crush freeze up a little and she stopped typing again. But that was all that happened on that day.

    Fast forward a few weeks. So I'm sitting in the school library, working, I do this most days because I need to study and my crush is always there (so I of course HAVE to sit in there with her!). We sit on different tables, but I notice she always turns her body towards me when I sit down. On one occasion, I was working and a few juniors came up to me and complimented my hair. I said thank you and my crush slightly looked up to see me. After this, one of the juniors, who is my friend's sister, started talking about this guy that she's going out with. My crush kept doing her work silently at this point, until my friend's sister described what her sister's date did to her. She started to say: "and he did this" and then put her arm around me when I was sitting down, and immediately I saw my crush's face lift up quickly and she made eye contact with me and she looked a little shaken.

    A few days after this, I was in the library again in the morning. I had put my bag down on a table and I then left to do some work in another room. When I came back, my bag was still sitting there, and opposite it was my crush, who seemed really surprised to see me in front of her looking in my bag. I then nervously sat down directly in front of her, and she stretched out her legs so that they almost touched mine. After staying there for a while, I had to go to another room for an hour or so, so I left and took my bag with me. After the hour had passed, I came back into the library, to find that my crush had changed places to sit where I was sitting and her friend was sitting in her old seat. I have no clue if this means anything but, I thought it was pretty strange and I couldn't think of a reason to move to sit there especially because if she wanted to sit there from the beginning, she could have easily moved my bag out of the way!