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Do You Believe Sexuality Changes Over Time?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Nelly1, Sep 17, 2016.

  1. Nelly1

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    I feel like mine has changed so much. I'm female and I was interested in girls waaay before I was interested in guys. Now I kid of switch, but don't particularly care too much about gender. What do you guys think? Does sexuality change?
     
  2. Creativemind

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    I think it depends on the person. I think sexuality is fluid for some and rigid for others. Just like with everything else, you know? Some people learn to like different foods, others will always hate that one specific food. It varies.
     
  3. jenne

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    i hope not! i can't go through this questioning phase again! but it really depends on the person.. i don't thing mine will change but you never know!
     
    #3 jenne, Sep 17, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2016
  4. Chip

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    From what we know, sexual orientation is fixed. If you're straight.. you're straight, if you're gay, you're gay, and if you're bi, you're bi. (Of course, it's a spectrum, not a trinary, but the point is, wherever you are, that appears to be pretty hardwired.)

    Now... that said, it is very common for people to be in denial that can be so complete they have no conscious awareness whatsoever. And we see this commonly in people who come out later in life. Some really had no idea... though, once they come out and fully accept themselves, they can look back at earlier behaviors and go "Wow! Duh!." But that obviousness was completely oblivious to them at the point they were going through it.

    So most of the time, when someone says that their orientation changed, what they really mean is they eventually came to terms with being gay or bi and got out of their denial. It's pretty uncommon for someone to be gay and later be straight (unless they have a ton of self-hatred and convince themselves that, for the benefit of others' opinions, that they'll "be straight again." )
     
  5. SystemGlitch

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    I think it's less that it actually "changes" and more that people simply become more aware of who they are and who they're interested in. People are always growing and learning more about themselves, and sometimes they make mistakes at first. Just look at the amount of people on this site who have thought they were bisexual but then realised they were gay (or vice versa) or thought they were a trans male but realised they were non-binary (or vice versa), etc.!

    For people who are fluid and consistently switch between liking different genders over a period of time (for example, focusing on women for a few months then focusing on men for a few months then going back to women), it's probably just preference coming into play. I wouldn't think it's actually your entire sexuality changing.
     
    #5 SystemGlitch, Sep 17, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2016
  6. Fighter694

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    Most of what chip said .
    But I think that bisexuality can be more fluid and people can slide up and down the bisexual spectrum.
    In the sense that if you like men more than women, you might find that later in life you like women a tad bit more than men.
    Further it's apparently different in males and females.
    Apparently guys are less likely to be fluid than girls.
    The fluidity of female sexuality has been written in detail by Lisa diamond. You may want to read that. :slight_smile:
     
  7. Feelunique

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    No I think it is what it is for a person and society and cultural beliefs play with it maybe. Looking back at 34 to childhood feelings. I have no doubt that I'm bisexual. I hid my feelings and sexual actions with same sex yes. I'm not out to the world. I don't give myself away to a partner unless there is a relationship. I've found when single I have a stronger attraction to guys. I think as a bisexual I've accepted it isn't a 50/50 split. It has its percentage depending on the individual. For me Ive always been attracted to the person in a relationship and girl parts or boys parts between the legs don't matter to me.
     
  8. Lightsaberpearl

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    I think it all really depends on how a person is comfortable describing how they've been attracted to over the years. If someone says that their sexuality has been/is fluid, then that's what it is but I don't think the concept of sexualities being fluid should be used to invalidate someone's identity (e.g "Even though you say you're a lesbian you might like men someday")
     
  9. nbd

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    My therapist says that sexuality is fluid, especially for women, and I assumed she meant orientation by that. Good question for her when I meet this week for our session.

    Honestly the idea of fluidity makes me nervous, especially the idea that sexuality is influenced by environment. Doesn't that add fuel to the fire of homophobia? That LGBT representation in media makes more people gay? That LGBT parents make LGBT kids? That hanging out with gay people makes you gay, so there's something to the idea that parents should decide if scout troop leaders, Sunday school teachers, people in charge of their kids can be gay?

    Obviously I strongly believe that those attitudes are bigoted and wrong, but I can see how people would use the idea of fluidity and environmental influence to justify their homophobia.

    Thoughts?
     
  10. Creativemind

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    Honestly, I think women's sexuality being more fluid is due to cultural norms rather than biological reasons. For example, bisexual men are invisible and labeled as gay. It's kind of like the one drop rule where someone is labeled african american even if it's only 1% in their blood. Same happens to men and their sexuality, so they aren't socially seen as fluid because of this.

    There's also sexism and female homophobia that contributes to these studies (for example, society thinks that a gay man who marries a woman was closeted the whole time, while a lesbian who marries a man is 100% fluid and her marriage invalidates her). Then there's the fact that women can be physically aroused by any kind of porn, but this is more of a physical reaction the vagina has to protect from sexual attacks (since we could die if we weren't aroused during rape).

    Just my thoughts from what I noticed personally.

    I won't deny that some people are legit fluid though. But in my experiences, I see it happen equally in both genders, just that the men are getting ignored or excused in place of a different term all together. I also think that some women are not fluid at all, whether they be rigidly straight or rigidly gay. Unfortunately, the fluid studies are commonly used to invalidate female homosexuality as well.
     
    #10 Creativemind, Sep 18, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2016