At what age did you know you were different

I kinda felt I was always "different" from everyone, but I really started crushing on guys around 11-12 years. I thought I was a freak (I didn't know what "gay" meant). Around 13-14 years old I realized there are other people like me and accepted it!

 

I knew I was "different" pretty early. I just didn't think anything of it until I hit school. Up until then it was no big deal if I demanded I was a girl around the house but after the start of kindergarten and then first grade the pressure to conform came on really strong and I felt very sad about it and learned to hide things and try to wish them away. It went into overdrive when I hit puberty and eveyone started changing and I realized I didn't just feel like a girl, I also had like sexual and romantic interest in other girls. Because those things together just didn't make any sense to me, but the latter was kind of a relief at the time because it meant the other had to be false, right? I didn't want to be her, I wanted to kiss her.

My brain did that transference any number of times. No, I don't want to look like her and wear that, I want to be WITH her. I was like, "What am I?" I'd read about transgender women in tabloids or I'd seen them on TV but I was thinking there was no way I was one of them. They liked guys, I thought.

So I felt VERY different from then on.

Well, surprise.

 

Feeling different: Always

I was kinda gay for a long time (with some associated stereotypes) never really got what my friends saw in women when I was younger, hated (straight) porn, cuddled with a guy when I was 17 (which I still count as one of the most awesome experiences of my life).

I came out to myself as bi 4 years ago and as mostly gay to myself and my friends/family during the last months...

 

I knew in elementary when I was nine. Everyone was talking about boys. And me I thought I liked a few. But, I didn't describe my feelings the way they did. To me, my crushes were people I wanted to hang out with. The second they tried to hold my hand. I ran away. It didn't feel right. They told me I was just shy. Playing football, messing with the girls. All things I did with the guys. Even though I "liked them" it made me uncomfortable when they hit on me. As my crush I was supposed to get all shy and feel butterflies. But, I never felt a thing. That's when I noticed I was different. I didn't know how though. My first real crush came in 6th grade. I was overwhelmed by the romantic feelings and my attraction. I'd given up hope of feeling butterflies. Finally I felt something.

 

I remember that somewhere around ages 6-8 I wished I was a boy, and by age 10 I remember feeling, "if I were a boy, I'd like her" about girls in my school. I actually realized that all this meant that I was gay at 14.

 

when i was 5, in kindergarten, a boy kissed me on the cheek. i slapped him and got sent to the principal's office. (and oops guess what he's gay too, we talk sometimes, he likes to say he kissed away the straight in me and i say i slapped the straight out of him ) all of my friends asked me why i slapped him. i didn't really know, but i told them he was yucky.

in elementary school all of my friends would ask me about my crushes on guys and i would tell them, honestly, i don't like anyone. they would keep pressing me and after a while i got so sick of it i just started to lie.

when i was 12 my best friend at camp came out to me as bi and i spent the entire school year questioning my sexuality and realized that i was definitely gay.

 

My late teens, I guess. I didn't drive until I was 18 and I was super sheltered and wasn't around people my own age until then. It wasn't long after that a guy touched me and I realized it did nothing for me, yet a gal would smile at me or stand close and I would go weak in the knees.

 

Sometime in high school but not sure exactly when. There was no point where it clicked and I thought I like dick.

haha that rhymed.

 

Same idea. Around 7-9 I was at girls sleepovers and they would talk about crushes and I didn't really get it so I would pick out a boy that was nice to me. Then I kissed my first girl and really liked it, forgot about it until 14-15 years old when my friend asked about my sexuality. I felt something like a nice settling feeling when I thought I was gay and then I kissed my best friend: instantly clicked. Then it was all a flip flop mess about me liking men until now where I'm super confidant about not being interested in men and only women. Tada!!!!

But honestly everyone is different. There is no rule of age to figure it out. Some are early some are late. That's all a okay!

 

When I was a kid I always just assumed I was hetero since i didn't even know homosexuality existed. And by the time I realized what being gay actually was, I'd been pulled out of public school and isolated so I didn't have any way of knowing. Until at 12 when i kind of had a gay panic, and started trying to condition myself into being 'straight'. At 15 i was CONVINCED i was asexual, because I was afraid of intimacy and didn't want to have sex with anyone. I'm 16 now and just like. looking back on my life and facepalming, because i was so obviously gay and i tried to be like "ha ha nope not gay" but i was. When i was like, seven, i had a crush on my best friend even! And the only reason it wasn't a dead giveaway is because i didn't even know being gay was possible.

 

I always looked at guys differently to girls. I didn't know I was gay until last year when I started majorly crushing on a guy and it all clicked.

 

7/8 Super tomboyish, hated playing fairies, liked to pretend games like dodgeball in gym were actually the Civil War and we had to whip those Confederates into shape (also history buff tho), liked throwing rocks and imagining being cool like the boys, hated gender stereotypes, wore hella snazzy turtlenecks and khakis to school every day to not conform

13/14 Obsessively hanging out with one friend who was a girl, needed to always be around her but didn't understand why and freaked her out, I thought I did something wrong and that I was a "stalkerish freak"

14 Freshman Bio met the girl who became my best friend and I got feels, began getting obsessed with being around her like the other girl and got scared, but unlike the last one she stayed and I worked through my obsessions and let things be, she was important enough to me to want to not freak her out, still had depression though not sure what was happening to me and the new friends I kept making

16 Got super religious, started allowing myself to consider being bi and began quickly falling for the Bio class girl

17 Bio girl had family troubles so I started catching feels for another friend

18 Bio girl moved to Ohio, got too attached to the other friend as we started college and she told me I really was a freak, fell back into a depression because I still hadn't accepted myself yet

19 Fell for a girl in my sorority and was determined not to lose this one, came out to her as bi and freaked her out and she left too, the depression got worse.

20 dated a guy had had sex 1st time, didn't like it at all and was confused. This summer I decided I ought to spend time self-reflecting, became happier, decided to focus on myself instead of my inability to keep friends, learned it was my internal struggling wanting to date them not getting reciprocated attraction and frustrated. Realized I don't like kissing boys and that I am very, very gay. Started feeling better about myself and having healthier friendships as I sit here discovering myself and realizing im not a freak, I just hella like women

 

I was 12.

 

I remember staring at this man's body in a Just For Men commercial when I was 8 and feeling some type of way, but I thought I wanted to look like him. Puberty and adolescence came and I realized I liked men sexually.

 

I was 9 years old when I discovered I like girls. I had a Massive crush on the wife of Nicolas cage in Con Air. That was 19 years ago!(damn) But I came out to a friend when I was 24 that I was a bi. But up to this point Only two close friends known I'm out.

 

10 or so

 

When I was around 6 I realized my brother had a penis and I did not, and I felt like I should have had one too.

I realized I was attracted to girls when I was in kindergarten. A cute girl asked me to play kitties and I did it not because I liked cats but because I thought she was the cutest thing. I was attracted to boys too, and dated and had sexual relationships with men. However I went through some time where I wasn't sure I was actually attracted to men too or if it was a combination of penis envy and having been molested, or if I really feel something for them. I am now pretty certain I like men too. But I have doubts as to if men will actually date me if they know I plan to transition, hopefully very soon. I have not been dating anyone for about 3 years, and also wondered if I was a little Asexual, but I think I am just a highly sensitive type person and have been hurt and am scared of relationships right now.

 

I felt attraction towards girls and guys since primary school, though funnily enough I didn't think that was anything "different". It only occurred to me that I wasn't straight when I was fifteen.

 

Well, I've always felt different since being aware at about 3. I've never fit in anywhere, and that hasn't really changed; if anything that feeling's gotten worse over the last few years. My sexuality and gender presentation didn't come out more strongly until about 12 when puberty set in.