Will Someone Love Me? Please read and reply, I need help

Hi. I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling. It sounds like you are going through so much. I am not really in a position to give you any real advice - except - if you are in the USA you could the Trevor Project (Get Help Now | The Trevor Project) or maybe find something similar if you aren't in the USA. Otherwise all I can suggest it finding a professional near or email one of the advisors here for help. Sorry I can't be more help but I really think you should talk to someone (a professional) as soon as you can.

 

Wow, I never read something that would make my heart shatter so much.

I want to be the one protecting you, I need that in my life, you need that in yours.

I can relate to what you said at almost everything, except that I have a little self-confidence, not that much, but whatever.

So, first, don't do self-harm. Just don't do it. I never did it, but you'll feel worse and worse when you'll think about what you did.

Second, talk about it. With your mother, with you best friend, with EC, with organizations like the Trevor Project, with a therapist, with me.

Third, do whatever make you feel better as long as it doesn't end badly (i.e. self harm), talk (about it or not), put make-up, play games. Enjoy life.

Fourth, you are not alone, EC is there, I am there, your family is there, your friends are there.

Fifth, those protective guys that you want and need. They exist, they aren't overflowing in the streets, but they exist and oh I want to protect you, to put you under my wing.

EC is here and some members are willing to help personnally, I want to be one. Don't be afraid to PM me, the only problem is that I'm European and I can't respond at American awake hours, but I'd be ready to fuck it up to help you, you need it.

 

Hi Male Streisand,

I hope that you are feeling less alone. Although I don't wear make up I think that its stupid how much hassle people get for it - its wasn't that long ago that women wearing trousers or shorts would have been unthinkable yet make up is still seen as exclusively something for women. Its so infuriating that you get bullied for it.

Like ChainedWingz said there are people out there but I know it can be difficult to meet people. Is there an LGBT organisation you could join? That would give you people you could talk to in your own environment.

Hope you a feeling a little better at least. And keep talking here - I hope its helping.

 

I would like to suggest that you learn to defend yourself. It seems like your confidence is related to your fears of your personal safety, and you desire a man to protect you. Realize that even a boyfriend/husband can't protect you 24/7. Consider something like martial arts. If you learn to protect yourself, it can lead to more self confidence and less reliance on others for you to feel safe.

 

I mean, as long as you can put make-up in a good way and doesn't end with lipstick on your shoulder, I don't really care if a man wears make-up.

It doesn't attract me nor it rejects me.

I mean, do whatever you want to do, make-up isn't gonna kill anyone :|

Also, yay for you feeling better (*hug*)

 

I meant that, as long as you can put your make-up and doesn't end with lipstick on your shoulder, I may not even see that you wear make-up XD.

For the self-defence part, you can also try searching on the web, it's way worse than real life training, but still

 

Martial arts isn't about violence. It is specifically about self defense. If you could get your parents to meet with an instructor or visit a martial arts center, they might get educated enough to see that this is something important for you. Do they know about your anxiety over your personal safety? If not, I think you need to tell them.

 

I know what you're going through. I'm the same age as you, I've never had a boyfriend, and no matter what I do I can't seem to find one for the life of me. I've been bullied all my life in school to the point where I always switch schools. One time, my bullying was so bad I ended up with a broken bone. Just like you, I have anxiety. Just like you, I cut myself. And just like you, I always believe there will never be anything good to look forwards to for me. In fact, if you look at any of my other posts, you'll see how bad things are for me. Your situation obviously is not ideal. But I'm positive that someday, someone will love you. I know it's hard but just stay hopeful that things will get better because they will. Always imagine the day when you'll be coming home to a man that you love so much and imagine how much fun you'll have with him. Be strong and work through this because it really will get better.

 

Hiya. I'm glad you are feeling a little better. Wearing make up is obviously an important part of your identity and self-expression and some who loves will understand and accept that. The self-defence class is a good idea - could you try and explain to your parents that it is about self-defence and allowing you to protect yourself?

The only other thing I could think is trying to get them to let you see a professional counselor to help with the anxiety - if you could deal with that then you may be in a better position to deal with the rest?

To both Male Streisand and JAA1297, are you looking at universities to attend? I don't which countries you are in or whether it is something you are pursuing but if you are then I hope you will be able to move to a more accepting place.

I hope you both keep talking on here and I hope it is helping.

 

Yea if you're 17, just like Barbatus said assuming you're going to go to college like I am, you'll definitely find someone there and it'll be even better since you will be right next to him since you live at school. Just one year, maybe two if you're still a junior, and it'll get better. That's how I think of it with my situation

 

I totally know how you feel, because that's the same for me and I know it isn't always easy.

Stay strong and be proud of representing the LGBT community in your school ! (!)

As everyone told me yet, if that's just offensive for the sake of being offensive, ignore it. I tend to joke even more about it than ignore the guys, they'll be even more dissapointed of you not being sad nor mad.

Trust me, that's one heck of a self-defence trick.

And, if they say something WAY too harsh for you, try to hide it from them then express your anger/sadness while they aren't watching. They will lose, you will win. Because you can and you will.

Of course there is someone for you, you just have to be patient, and entertain yourself with your pillow boyfriend while you can :icon_wink

Now that I know that pillow boyfriends exist, I want one.

 

Hi, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I want to be there for you so much. You seem like a nice guy. I want to hold you in my arms.

Please don't self-harm yourself. Don't ever do something like that. Do you live in the USA?

Here, have some hugs. (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

 

@Male Streisand. Its sounds like there are some positives coming up for you - I think university will be a great opportunity for you and I'd encourage you to join an LGBTQ+ group as soon as. I hope you didn't take my comments about anxiety as to critical - I was trying to point out that anxiety makes it harder to deal with, its great that you are speaking to someone. I read in another post that you do performing arts which is extremely courageous and shows some guts - there are so many people who couldn't do that (me included). I don't think you lack confidence or courage - you certainty don't lack self-belief, I'm envious of your openness, I certainly wasn't out at your age. It may be, like you say, that there are certain triggers that provoke anxiety but you should look at the many ways in which you have demonstrated incredible strength in being yourself (everything from wearing the makeup you love, to being out at school, to performing in public). Its truly impressive.

Regarding Youtube and self-defence I think it might be an idea even if you only pick up a few tips - is there a friend you could practice some things with? The difficulty is the gulf between theory and practice - I wouldn't want to try something you've seen and injure yourself. I don't really have an alternative suggestion for this particular issue unfortunately - hopefully someone else here will have a suggestion.

@JAA1297, That's great that you are going to university as well. Ditto the suggestion above about joining an LGBTQ+ group. I'm sure you (both) will get to a place that is more accepting and that you can meet a group of people who will welcome you for yourselves.

I know that university will not be a total solution but it is something for you both to focus on and I hope that it helps you deal with the problems you face now.