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Is my friend gay or attracted to me?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Gorgon, Sep 8, 2016.

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  1. ABeautifulMind

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    No, the 11 old boy I think named Danny from NY who hung himself because he was getting bullied relentlessly. Kids kill themselves from bullying all the time.

    I am really glad to see your response. I was genuinely concerned as I read this thread. Sorry if I came off as a dick.
     
  2. bookreader

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    Oh, I thought he was 13? Guess not.
     
  3. ABeautifulMind

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    My bad, he was 13...

    Still horrible.
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    Instead of focusing on his response, you need to focus on your own behaviour. Encouraged by others, you persisted after he explicitly asked you to stop and that's just not acceptable. If somebody tells you to stop doing something to them, you must stop. It's not negotiable or something you should ever trivialise.

    He may be feeling a lot more than embarrassment about this incident. If somebody refused to stop doing something to me when I'd asked them to, I'd be annoyed with them actually.
     
  5. Gorgon

    Gorgon Guest

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    Straight but curious

    You probably mean well, but seriously, you're lecturing me about my "behaviour".
    As I already mentioned, I apologized to him about it already, I'm going to talk to him about what's going on, but I do not appreciate being talked down to like a child.

    FYI: I'm not a teenager
     
  6. ScatteredEarth

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    Understand that this is a support site for everyone in general, not necessarily just the ones who sign up. Those who have been "harsh" are merely thinking about both sides of the situation. We don't really hold bias like that. :slight_smile: Also about the kid thing, some times people can make assumptions if there's not a lot of info there. You may not be comfortable giving your age but it doesn't make you ageless :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: guessing is the next best option. Anyway I hope you figure out what you wanted to figure out from this site, it seems you might have a little ways to go to evaluate your thoughts and identity and I wish you the best of luck.
     
  7. Barbatus

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    Hi Gorgon,

    We are trying to help and from you posts the general impression is that your aren't thinking of things form his perspective. This may be unfair but we only have what you say to go on. One thing seems clear, that you want to re-enact quite a physically intimate event so I think you must have some strong feelings for him in particular - otherwise, presumably, you could experiment with someone else who is confidently out?

    You also seem to have decided to talk to him. Here's something to consider if you do. Would you be comfortable telling him that you are bi-curious? If you are then you could open with that to demonstrate that you trust him and are thinking about this deeply. Then you could ask him what he thinks and see what he says (he may not say anything to confirm that he is gay or bi there and then but it might be the beginning of an ongoing conversation between you two). This, to me, seems the best way to approach things given that was put in a very awkward and embarrassing position before - it would also clearly indicate that you are prepared to reciprocate in any discussion of sexuality.

    On the other hand, if you aren't comfortable telling him then you will understand that he may be in the same position - he may not be ready, prepared or happy to discuss sexuality (especially after such an embarrassing incident). You have to realise that he may not want to talk about this but if you aren't prepared to tell him that you are bi-curious then you cannot expect him to feel confident in confiding in you.

    I think ABeautifulMind makes some good points - imagine if someone had intruded in your most personal secrets regardless of you wishes. The reason tickling him or play fighting again is such an issue without his permission is that he basically was made powerless by what happened - if someone put you in a position like that how you would feel? I think you also need to really consider what exactly you feel about and for him as it seems to be driving your thoughts and potential actions.

    I hope what I'm saying is clear. I'll just end by reiterating - if you talk to him consider telling him first that you are bi-curious before expecting him to confide in you.
     
  8. Gravity

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    Thread is locked pending staff discussion.
     
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