Hi, this my first post on here and I'm looking for some help and advice. Im a fifteen year old boy in grade 10. I feel like I'm on the gay side of sexuality. I've only ever had one relationship that was in grade 8 when this girl liked me and asked me out. Even though I didn't like or really know her I said yes because I was being asked out, by a real girl. I've seen a lot of girls and I don't find them very attractive, like I just see a person, nothing appeals to me at all about the female body and I feel like they're bodies are actually quite ugly, no offence to any girls out there. But when I see guys I think like they're good looking and think different things like that. I sometimes try to imagine what they look like shirtless. I get sexually aroused by guys but never by girls. I've tested this by looking at naked people and seeing how I react and what I think. And also when my male friends touch me inapropriatly or in a sexual manner, jokingly of course, I feel like I want it, like I want them to do it. As I am writing this I do see how I probably am gay, like I haven't said anything that I like about females. But I am confused because I see myself in the future with a wife and kids and not another guy. I've fantasised about women and things but I fantasise about guys and mostly my male friends a lot more. I really don't know where I'm going with this and I'm kind of just rambling because I have nowhere to talk about this and my feelings. Sorry if I sound really strange but I just need somewhere to talk about this. If you could tell me your opinion on my dilemma that would be nice. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Hey there, It was really brave of you to come here and write all that down on the internet. Go you! I was in a similar situation to you a few years ago -I was attracted to girls, I wanted to be with a girl, but whenever I imagined my future, there would always be a husband and a child and this nice little 'normal' world. In the end, I realised it was not actually the husband I wanted, but the simple, idealistic life that I associated with having a husband and child and house and all those things. I realised that I could still have breakfast with someone in the morning, I could still raise a child with someone, I could do all those things I envisioned myself doing -but it would be with a woman, because that was the gender I was attracted to and the gender I wanted to be with. From what you have written, I think you are probably gay, but it's really up to you to find out for yourself. I know it sucks hearing that over and over again, but this isn't something that anybody else can answer for you. Good luck! Please do visit the forum again.
Thanks for that Meatballs. Yes I do feel like I do want a simple, idealistic life with all those things you would usually associate but it's weird cos I just can't see it with a guy. Like I just can't picture it. Maybe it's because I've never really seen or heard of that kind of thing.
Like Meatballs said, the basic "normal" family we see almost always is a wife, a husband, and a child or two (or five, you never know). Since that's what we're taught is right and see nearly everyday in our own families, that's what we believe to be normal and right, making us want it, but for most people here they want to be with someone they love, whether it's a dude or a girl, whether it's "right" or not.
Hi Hereforadvice, I can imagine how confusing and difficult this all is for you. And it's a huge step you've made by coming on this forum and basically saying "I'm gay." Well done. I'm an adult and I still have issues about being in a relationship with a guy and the issues are basically the same as yours. But I think Meatballs and GeekCube have given you some fantastic feedback on this. Australia used to be a very homophobic and macho society - I left the country for almost 20 years because I felt like I didn't belong here in any way. I returned last year and I'm amazed at how things have changed. Of course you've got lots of dickheads like Cory Bernardi and the ACL running around hating on gays - but they're in the minority. What I mean by this is that society is changing here and hopefully by the time you want to settle down and live a domestic life, marriage equality will be reality and we'll be even further on the way to seeing gay relationships as no big deal. You also need to talk to people you trust about what you're going through - it doesn't need to be a friend, or even your parents. But you've probably got so many questions you want answers for, that talking to someone would be good for you. Maybe there's a group for gay teenagers in Brisbane. And if you've got a good relationship with your parents, think about letting them know. They might turn out to be very supportive. Take care and all the best.
