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So much anxiety.....

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Katchoo, Sep 7, 2016.

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  1. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    I didn't post it. I dont think I'm ready just yet. I want to talk to grandparents first, I think, and to somehow feel more prepared for possible church people responses.
     
    #181 Katchoo, Oct 12, 2016
  2. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    I'm excited! I've always had terrible luck with meetup.com, but somehow today that site and I are finally on the same page. :grin: Hopefully I can be brave to go to new things and meet some new people. :grin: Yay!
     
    #182 Katchoo, Oct 12, 2016
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  3. BrookeVL

    BrookeVL
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    Warning. Probably TMI:

    I hate that I still feel the need to "pleasure myself" every few days....it's honestly disgusting to me, I hate touching that part. It usually ends up with tears after. I can get past the touching it part, in the moment because it still feels good. It's the finish that honestly I can't deal with. Ich. I just can't. But I was thinking about having a girlfriend(as a girl) and it got me so hot.....eek, I hate myself sometimes.

    ---------- Post added 12th Oct 2016 at 05:17 PM ----------

    Oh, and I've been trying to think of a middle name. I was thinking Ana(I love her, and that movie!), but that doesn't work very well with Savannah....
     
    #183 BrookeVL, Oct 12, 2016
  4. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    Savannannannannah,

    I resonate with what you're saying. I'm having trouble putting together sentences to express it. Like, if you were FTM, I could totally give you suggestions.... Hmm.... I guess, know that we care about and there's no shame there.
     
    #184 Katchoo, Oct 12, 2016
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  5. BrookeVL

    BrookeVL
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    I'm a little horny toad today, I kinda want to go for a second round....even though I cried again afterwards, earlier.

    Also, I'm going to try those Veet wax strips instead of Nair. I really wish there was less hair to get rid of. And the hair on my head needs to grow faster already. And I really wish I had boobs. I can wait a bit for the vajayjay, but I want boobs now.

    Also next time Aerie sends me the email saying there's a a "10 for $30" sale, I'm doing it. I really like the "boy shorts," they're soooo cute. I'll probably try a variety, though, see what I like. Except the thongs, they don't really work well with tucking, apparently....
     
    #185 BrookeVL, Oct 12, 2016
  6. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    Yeah, between skipping zoloft doses, ovulating, and seeing lots of beautiful queer girls on Sunday, I've been turned on af this week.

    Hmm, yeah, thongs are probably not your best option. But, 10 for $30 sounds like a good deal to me.

    I'm trying to look into various distance/online therapy options to see what's affordable. Really sad that I'm not financially stable enough to keep paying to see my therapist. There's a community mental health center in town I can check out, too, though at our office we've always said they aren't great therapists, because we're arrogant and think we are the best, apparently. Lol, maybe I could make friends with their office staff or something if the therapy doesn't work out? Probably not?
     
    #186 Katchoo, Oct 12, 2016
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  7. BrookeVL

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    Don't get me wrong, I'll probably buy a few leading up to the eventual surgery....but yeah, every trans girl on YouTube is like "Pre-op and thongs don't mix honey, trust me."

    ---------- Post added 12th Oct 2016 at 11:18 PM ----------

    10 for $35 is still going! I was looking for some men's stuff to add so they'd think it was just a tack on for the gf....but hell they'll probably not even think anything of it. I'm sure guys order stuff for their wife/gf all the time....
     
    #187 BrookeVL, Oct 12, 2016
  8. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    Um especially if you're ordering, just get whatever you want. If it helps, imagine them being really confused, and you chuckling, like, if they only knew, mwahaha.
     
    #188 Katchoo, Oct 12, 2016
  9. BrookeVL

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    Heck, I worked at a warehouse for a bit before. You're too busy to notice or care about that shit. Plus I don't really care, it isn't like I'll know the person picking the order...

    But I didn't take advantage. No money, and I'm trying not to use the credit card. Maybe Friday.
     
    #189 BrookeVL, Oct 13, 2016
  10. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    As someone presently regretting my credit card debt, good job choosing not to use the card.
     
    #190 Katchoo, Oct 13, 2016
  11. BrookeVL

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    I'm presently regretting the amount I already have...lol. Next time I can spare money, undies and makeup!
     
    #191 BrookeVL, Oct 13, 2016
  12. looking for me

    looking for me
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    how about Savannah May? sort of a southern antebellum sound to it.
     
    #192 looking for me, Oct 13, 2016
  13. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    I'm having a hard time with feeling sad and stuck today. Maybe I shouldnt discontinue zoloft just because I miss orgasms..... ok. Plan. Get more coffee. Take medicine. Get competely dressed to leave the house even though I don't need to leave for about an hour. I can do it.
     
    #193 Katchoo, Oct 13, 2016
  14. BrookeVL

    BrookeVL
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    Oh I love it, I love it, I LOVE IT!!!!!

    Also, I'm starting to flesh out my style a little, in anticipation of starting to change my wardrobe after I come out at the beginning of the year.

    It's looking like I'll end up being a rocker chick of sorts. Like flannel, black riding boots, ripped jeans, converse, hoodies, sweaters, and band shirts....I'm keeping SOME of my guy clothes, like the band shirts, and a couple of flannels I love and can never imagine parting with unless they're threadbare. But I'll definitely change all my pants, and let's be honest, leggings will be worn as pants....
     
    #194 BrookeVL, Oct 13, 2016
  15. nbd

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    I like your description of your look, Savannah! I actually dress a lot like that myself, and it's so much easier to find that kind of clothing now that 90's looks are back in style.

    For some reason when I saw the May I thought of Mae (Madonna) from A League of Their Own. One of my favorite female solidarity movies, and her character was just awesome. Not to mention some of the Doris/Mae subtext, just saying :slight_smile:
     
    #195 nbd, Oct 13, 2016
  16. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    Yas, Vannah! You're the best 90s grunge lesbian!
     
    #196 Katchoo, Oct 13, 2016
  17. BrookeVL

    BrookeVL
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    They are quite easy to find! I will eventually replace all my men's shirts with women's. I have the perfect amount of t-shirts/tanks now, so I'll just buy one or two here and there as I stumble upon ones I like and replace that many shirts each time. Also what girl doesn't have at least one skirt and a couple dresses. I'll probably live in flip flops/sandals in summer(cause I do now anyway), and I finally get to wear the cute ones I see other girls wearing all the time!

    I'm way excited about clothes, incase you needed any further proof I'm a girl!:lol:

    And yes Katch, I totally am!(Will be)
     
    #197 BrookeVL, Oct 13, 2016
  18. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    This is basically what I imagine you wearing. :slight_smile:
    [​IMG]

    Which makes me think that you need to know about the best sock website: https://www.sockdreams.com/
     
    #198 Katchoo, Oct 13, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2016
  19. BrookeVL

    BrookeVL
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    Add black leggings! That's perfect, do you have a list of what's in there, by chance?

    Actually, if that dress/shirt is long enough, and it's not too cold out, you probably wouldn't need the leggings.
     
    #199 BrookeVL, Oct 13, 2016
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  20. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    Lol, I did a Google image search for 90s grunge lesbian and scrolled til I found what was in my head. It linked to pinterest. Here ya go.

    http://pin.it/83dT2Nj
     
    #200 Katchoo, Oct 13, 2016
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