I Don't Understand How

No, gloomyra. That's a myth/stereotype mostly from people that don't believe in bisexuality

Check out the Bisexuality Index website to answer some of your issues:

The Bisexual Index | What is Bisexuality?

But for me and most bisexuals I know, the attraction isn't equal. We have our own types we are attracted to, both male and female, but for some, there is certainly more attraction to one gender than the other. For me, I'm strongly attracted to males, but certain women also catch my eye and I'd be equally comfortable with any of my 'types.'

In my experience, attraction for a bi has little to do with gender overall, so much as having strong feelings for an individual/person. To me it's primarily about the feeling of mutual connection (for lack of a better term right now).

In my opinion, any bi person that approached you but said they weren't interested in 'women' meant that you weren't their type - not that they really didn't like women. Masculine women may be a turnoff for some bi people, but maybe they just didn't think you were really approachable when they talked you. I don't know because I don't know you.

I don't know it this helps answer your concerns...

 

Gender rules of our society. Woman are still not that respected and in addition society tries to direct them toward certain roles that are usually the traditional jobs female had in the household.

I do believe bisexuals can have stronger desires for one sex than the other. So say Mary dated 10 people by the time she was 35 and 9 out of 10 were Female. Well She may still consider herself bisexual because she knows there is always a chance for her to be in love with a man beyond a friendship even though the chances are higher that her next partner would be female.

It could be the same for Jenn...Jenn dated 10 people by the age of 35 and 9 out of 10 were male and only one was female. Jenn still considers herself as Bisexual. Because She knows she can have equally as strong feelings for Tim or Mary.

I hope I understood your question correctly.

I do not think gender is truly a cultural construction...Gender rules are. But Gender use to be determined by what sex organs the person had at birth. Now that has switched where you have cis-gender citizens and then you have other citizens who sit somewhere along the spectrum of gender identity. But gender identity doesn't equate to biological organs.

I am not a specialist in the whole gender argument.....this is just my statement from the amount of knowledge I have to get by everyday.

The Woman who is bisexual who only wants to date men....is it because of her wanting to be the feminine one in the relationship? No, I do not believe that is so. But, maybe for that one specific female that is the reason. But...there are many lesbian relationships where one of the woman in the relationship could take on the traditional role of what women are to be in relationship.

Society is changing you don't even see traditional roles in heterosexual relationships all the time. There are Women who bring home the bacon and Men who stay home to keep the house running smoothly (or stay at home dads).

I think a woman who says she is bisexual and prefers Men could very well just be a woman who notice her history is more prominent with male significant others than females but is aware that she could fall in love with either a male or female. Then you have woman who are bisexual who may prefer men because of social pressures from their family to ignore homosexual feelings and go with a man.

I don't think we can mind read why people do what they do. But, gender roles are changing across the board from heterosexual couples to homosexual couples.

This is just my Two Cent and I hope I was able to answer your question with my perspective.

 

Everyone is different and that sums it up. I surely can't speak for anyone, but myself based on my personal experience with relationships, which are always evolving. I've considered myself bisexual then gay and then back to bisexual only to realize that now, I think I'm more pansexual than anything. I've always looked beyond a person's gender and have fallen in love with the person instead. There have been times when I have found myself attracted to very feminine women and masculine women as well. I've also been attracted to very masculine men and very feminine men as well. I've always found myself attracted to androgynous people as well, so, to me, it really doesn't matter. I'm just taking things one day at a time.

 

The 'myth' I was referring to was exactly what you said, that bi people can have sex with both men and women, but can only "love" people of one gender. I can only speak for myself and the few other bisexuals that I've had this kind of conversation with (about relationships mainly), to say that I don't know anyone who feels that way. I may feel more strongly for one gender, but I can still fall in love if I find the 'right' person of the other gender. Maybe your friends really feel the way they told you. I don't know them. But if I were to say that, it would be a lie. It's also possible that your friends just aren't completely comfortable with being completely open with their sexuality from the standpoint that they still are concerned that society at-large tends to frown on same-sex marriages and, since they seem to have the 'option' of having a 'normal' opposite-sex marriage, they just are telling themselves that they don't want to even consider a serious, long-term same-sex relationship. Again, I don't know. Just some thoughts.

And I, for one don't think you come across as judgmental. I think your thread is an interesting topic to explore. Maybe there really are bi people out there that know in their own hearts and minds that they could have sex with, but never "love" people of a specific gender. (Heck, everyone is a unique and special individual.) I just don't know anybody who feels that way.

 

I think it is possible. To understand how I think this, consider the case of people who are romantically attracted to zero sexes, but would have and want to have sex with women. In other words, the quintessentially "straight" male. There are tens of millions of those, and in fact they provide grist for hundreds or even thousands of magazine pieces about "men who can't commit." Women write constantly about men who won't "share their feelings" or emotions. So, right in front of us, there are millions of men who are horny to have sex with women, but who are not romantically attracted to them. It is more the norm than the exception, in some generations.

So now consider the typical bisexual, who has varying levels of sexual attraction to more than one sex. There may be a pattern to the sex of the people that person tends to form deeper "friendships" with. Certainly the popularity of hookup apps has proved that knowing a person's address or even name is completely irrelevant to whether you're going to bang them for twenty minutes at an "undisclosed location."

Of course, if your definition of "romantically attracted" doesn't actually mean what I think it does, maybe I don't understand your hypothesis. I think "romantically attracted" means "typically desires to form deep and lasting friendship with."