Hi all, I am new to this forum and wanted to ask some direct questions about G.I. & E. as I find I have a lot of "traditional" views on it(I imagine) and would like to deepen my understanding and compassion. Please forgive the clumsiness of some of my wording. It is my intention to be respectful. I guess the first thing I'd like to ask is...Is it reasonable for me to understand that if I meet a lesbian woman who dresses like a "boy" and adopts the outward behavior of a "boy" that she identifies with a masculine energy and brings that to her romantic relationships? Does that necessarily mean that she wishes to attract a more feminine energy?
Masculinity and femininity don't need to go hand in hand. Two masculine people can be attracted to each other, same with two feminine people. It just depends on a person's preference. I know of two very masculine gay guys who fit perfectly together. If a very butch woman wants a feminine partner then so be it, it's not because she's butch that she would want a feminine partner though, it'd just be what she's into.
Thanks. You put that very well. With that "fluidity" in mind, would you say that there is definitely a segment of the male population that feels they have to abide rigidly by certain behavior, masculine behavior or what we agree masculine behavior to be?
I'd say there are both male and female people who feel that way. People who feel that males absolutely have to be masculine, people that believe females absolutely have to be feminine, and people who believe both. I think it's a bit harsher on males however - in the western world, women are fairly accepted if they want to dress or act in a masculine manner, but in most places on earth men are often ridiculed for being feminine (by males and females). Most people I know are very lax on the idea of women being masculine, but very degrading towards men that are feminine. I'd hazard a guess that there are most definitely males who feel pressure to act masculine, even when their true self is more feminine.
If we look at the human animal from a scientific standpoint, if one human animal has the potential to be bisexual or transexual, shouldn't that mean we all have the potential? Is all that is preventing that social conditioning?
No, not necessarily. Some butch lesbians like other butch lesbians and some lipstick lesbians like other lipstick lesbians and some give no sh*ts. (Lipstick lesbian = girly lesbian, butch lesbian = boyish lesbian)
Well I mean, everyone has the potential to be bisexual or transgender. "Having the potential" just means having the capacity, and anyone is capable of having any sexuality or any gender identity. That doesn't mean you will actually have the sexuality/identity just because you have the capacity, though. People will also always have preferences and things that make them more comfortable. Assuming we paid no attention to sexual attraction and didn't discriminate, there will still be men who have a preference for women to the point where they never even look at men sexually. To some extent, social norms and standards may be preventing some people from accepting themselves as non-straight or non-cis, or preventing them from coming out, but I don't think that removing societal standards from the equation would mean that everyone would be bisexual and transgender. I hope that makes sense. ^^;
That did make sense. Thank you for your insight. What about gay pride celebrations? Is there something a bit contrived about such things? If I'm a gay man, what does dressing in a leather vest, dancing atop a float in a lascivious way, signify? Sexuality, when it is truthfully distilled, is so utterly unique to each person---unique in its contours and expression---how can one person lump themselves in with a mass and "celebrate" it?
I'm not sure this is a question that can be succintly answered. There's a pretty big discussion around how gay pride is often celebrated - I'd recommend doing some of your own research on it, there are a couple of papers I've seen before. Personally I feel it may be related to a complete expression of self, free of judgement... but that's just my guess. More intelligent people than I have far more in-depth opinions. Maybe someone who takes part in gay pride parades could add something more? In regards to the concept of celebrating sexuality, I think it's the same as any other sort of pride. People experience patriotism differently and uniquely, yet can collectively celebrate their country and culture. No woman's experience is identical to another woman's, but they can still band together and appreciate being women. One religious person may have different practices or interpretations of their god's teachings than another person of the same religion, but they can come together and celebrate their god and their pride in their beliefs. People enjoy being a part of a community and embracing that community, and celebrating the things that bring them together - in this case, sexuality and the freedom to love who you love without being opposed for it, something which is sadly lacking in this world. Again, though, I don't know as much about this as I wish I did. It might be beneficial to ask this question on the Sexuality Forum. A lot of the people who come to the Gender Forum are more adept at dealing with questions about gender, gender identity, gender expression, and other trans-related topics.
Gay pride, I think is a way of showing the world that we lgbt exist and we come in all different varieties, shapes and sizes. It is to reinforce the idea that we are very real, we are proud of who we are, the way we are. So I think the common point that connects everyone in a gay pride parade is that , they are celebrating their divergence from the societal norm. I would also like to extend it to the thought that they are sending out an affirmative message to those lgbt still struggling with being comfortable with their unique self. Besides one core aspect of the lgbt movement is to remind society that humans are beyond binary , there are indeed 50 shades of grey or a spectrum of colours. So yea in this respect each unique person with his unique gender and sexuality fits in and helps conveying the larger message.
