Just for context, biological male, but trans. So, five years ago if I saw a hot woman at the store or on t.v. or something I would think "She's hot" or "I would have sex with her" or something generic like that. Now, I still think women are hot.... but now I see a woman on t.v. or wherever and I think "She's pretty. That outfit might look good on me. I wonder where I can get that?" It's almost like being trans is changing the way I view women. Does anyone else experience this? Is my sexuality changing because I'm trans? Is being trans opening me up to more of who I really am?
I've felt both for as long as I can remember. I mean, maybe not "She's hot!" when I was like 5 or 6, but definitely, "She's pretty, I want to wear what she's wearing." And as I got older, I started feeling sexual attraction to different women but also that would come with "I wish I were her" or "I wish I could dress like her" sometimes. It's difficult to tell these feelings apart for me. It might be accepting that you're trans allows you to admit feelings of wanting to be more like the women you're attracted to rather than viewing them just as objects of attraction. These feelings have probably always been there just mixed in with the attraction feelings. Maybe you wouldn't allow yourself to notice them or give voice to them before now.
Yeah, I would say it's been hard to admit. Even to myself. It's confusing. I saw a woman at a store one time and she was dancing to some music that was playing from the stereo section. I remember this distinct mix of "She's cute" mixed with this intense jealousy. It was weird. I couldn't quite understand why I would be jealous. What was there to be jealous of? Wouldn't a straight guy look at her, think she's hot and move on? I think the only thing that makes me feel better is that some bio female lesbians report this same thing happening to them. So yes, I think the feelings are starting to peel apart a bit, but its like because the thoughts aren't getting mixed quite as much I find my sexual attraction somewhat altered. *shrug*
Well, for what it's worth, it's really good to ask yourself (and others) these things than keep them bottled up. And it's really easy to feel jealous because we want to look like someone else. A lot of people feel that. I feel it almost every single day! The funny thing is the same person we're looking at feeling jealous about might be thinking the same thing about someone else or us. We always say we have to be happy with who we are and learn to love ourselves, and it's true, but that doesn't mean denying our honest feelings about certain things.
For me the feelings i feel for women are a split between 90% jealousy wanting to be them to the point where it turns me on and 10% of obscure sexuality.when i was young 4-8 i liked girls "thought they were hot".
I can relate to that, in a way. I buried my Bi sexuality till about 2 years ago and my gender(s), in any real way, till about 1.5yrs ago so yeah. I used to be oh she's hot and I'd "do" her etc. but now it's the clothes, the make up, the hair, the shoes, and while some women still hit those buttons of old, mostly for me I'm attracted to men or people with a penis.... so I guess my gender issues combined with my openness to my same sex attraction has changed the way I look at people, I spend as much, or more, time checking out guys butts and jaw lines as I do ladies figures :icon_wink
I believe it can. Before I knew/accepted that I was trans I was only into women. I use to want a relationship extremely bad, and now I just don't want one. I have no interest in it and it's pretty difficult for me to think someone is attractive (in a sense of dating/if I would be with that person). It started when I accepted that fact that I am trans, I don't know why. But, looking at women now is much different than it was then, I use to think the same as you and now it's mostly that I envy her. So, I do think it's possible. ^^
This is not weird, at least not to me. Since I am a woman, I only fantasize about dominant women. But, if I were a man, I would probably prefer men, or maybe a dominant woman. I'm very attracted to same-sex intimacy. It sounds weird, I know.
Not weird at all. When I finally embraced that I like men instead of being like "he's hot" I'm now more like "I wonder if he's nice or a douche".