I'm Still Totally Closeted and I'm Older

Antidepressants are prescribed only to take the edge off the worst of your feelings, but they will not address the fundamental issues that are causing you to feel depressed.

It's important to understand that psychiatrists work in a very different way to therapists and they don't necessarily have the same skill set or availability of time to do in depth listening or exploration of feelings. A psychiatrist is generally there to diagnose and prescribe a course of treatment for mental health problems, which often includes therapy. I'm sorry your psychiatrist appeared impatient and annoyed, but he really does seem to have given you his professional opinion and recommendation.

If you are dealing with issues connected to abuse, you should seek a therapist with expertise in that area. Many are not well equipped to deal with these issues and that's why you may feel as though you are getting nowhere when you talk to them.

As I look at your posts there is a lot of catastrophic and defeatist language... you seem to be saying "I don't", "I won't" and "I can't" a lot and you are almost rejecting the validity of your own feelings. I'm not pointing this out to be horrible or unkind, but when you are constantly pushing against yourself in that way it limits the capacity for change. It is daunting, I know, but positive change begins with you. It's there, but you need to tap into it.

 

I'm so sorry. Sounds like you need a place where you can be yourself, or be on your own. I was raped when I was 15 (nothing like what you went through) and I had been wondering at one time, "Was there something wrong with me? Do I prefer women simply because I was raped by a man?" Now, I know that isn't the case, and that I'm just gay.

In any case, is there anywhere you can go? Anywhere you can move to that you can at least have the life you need to have?

(( hugs ))

Rosa