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Why am I scared?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by FreeFlow9917, Aug 29, 2016.

  1. FreeFlow9917

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    I am not really sure how to start this, so, here it goes.

    A couple months back, I realized I was Transgender after i pushed myself into hypnosis. After i hypnotized myself, I found memories that I had repressed that led to my gender conclusion. Since then, I feel like the hypnosis was a blessing in disguise; I felt happier about myself because I had the option to my true self and be more positive.

    So here is what I am wondering; why am I still scared? I just started college and I have a chance to reinvent myself, but I just cannot bring myself to do it. Luckily, I requested for a female roommate and got one. However, even though she is supportive, I just cannot bring myself to fully come out. Instead I question whether or not I am sure about myself. I learned that I do not need to dress girly to be a girl, but I want to be perceived as one. I know I have problems accepting myself, and I am pretty sure my family is with me (ish), so what am I afraid to do? Nobody really knows me here and I am afraid of transphobia. Is there any way I can stop feeling scared?
     
  2. flatlander48

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    Fear is something that is always with us. I think a key point to remember is that Bravery is NOT the absence of Fear. Bravery is dealing with the Fear enough that it allows you to do what you need to do.

    It is certainly true that you do not need to dress in a feminine way to be feminine. However, when you see yourself dressed in a mirror, it can work to reinforce your perceptions and that's probably a good thing. It probably also helps with external perceptions or at least it cuts down on the time it would take to explain your reality to others.

    I agree that your situation is a great time to reinvent yourself. However, I don't know if it has to be 100%. Perhaps a staged approach would work as you become more comfortable with each step.

    DeeAnn
     
    #2 flatlander48, Aug 29, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2016
  3. Florestan

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    The best way to deal with it would be to take it slowly. Don't try to force yourself to dramatically change overnight if it's too much pressure. Since your roommate is supportive, maybe you could start dressing differently, going by a female name, and so on while you're at your dorm. Talk to people you trust and who you know will be on your side. When you're ready to come out publicly, maybe have someone there to help you stay calm.
     
  4. RyeTheDauphin

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    Good for you for accepting this, but I'd advise you to be very careful with hypnosis. There have been cases of people recovering false memories through hypnosis under persuasion so maybe examine whether you feel gender dysphoria now before jumping to conclusions.

    I'm happy for you and I wish you all the best. I'm just suggesting that you be careful.
     
  5. FreeFlow9917

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    Trust me, they were not false. I wasnt fully under the trance. I did uncover parts of myself i repressed. I only recovered two parts: thinking i had a vagina one night, and before i started the hypnosis, i actually bought panties. I wanted to do the hypnosis because i knew i was diffeent from my gender and I wanted to become my true self