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My Coming Out Update

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by I'm gay, Aug 28, 2016.

  1. I'm gay

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    Hey everyone, this is an update to my thread from Saturday morning's post, Today is the Day. Follow the thread here for the first part of it:

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/lgbt-later-life/220585-today-day.html

    Coming out to my wife 2 months ago was probably the most difficult thing I have ever done. That experience embodied everything I never wanted to live through from the earliest days of my closet-dwelling. Making yourself that vulnerable without knowing what the consequences would be is a terrifying process to go through. But I did it.

    It wasn't rainbows and glitter, not that I was expecting it would be. Instead it was a quiet and mostly silent response. It took several days afterward for her to even begin speaking to me about it. But we did, and continued to talk and open up to each other about our feelings.

    Yesterday and today, however, continued the coming out experience for me as I took the next step in coming out to my kids, my sister and her husband, and my mom.

    I did it. Every scary, gut-wrenching and anxiety filled moment. And you know what? Every one of them told me that they still loved me. Each one gave me total acceptance and support. I'm crying right now just typing this message to you.

    My 16-year-old almost immediately expressed support to me, and I can't really describe the overwhelming joy and peace that gave me. My 12-year-old told me he loves me. He will likely take a bit longer to come to peace with this. That's ok, he can have all the time he needs.

    I hope my experience can be an inspiration to others. Every fear I had in coming out to my family turned out to be an illusion created in my own mind. I am my mom's son and my sister's brother, and my kids' father. Why did I ever think even for a moment that they wouldn't still love me after coming out to them? I think I got so used to the fear that I just couldn't envision a loving reaction, only a negative one.

    I know that not everyone gets what I have been given by my family. I'm so sorry for those who have been rejected by their spouse and other family. But please know that a good reaction is possible too. You will never know until you do it.

    I have some more people to come out to before this part of my process is done, but I'm ready for it. Bring it on!

    I'm out. (!)
     
  2. Quantumreality

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    :slight_smile:That's wonderful! Be at peace!

    Thanks so much for sharing!
     
  3. AyaseKishimoto

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    Awwww after reading it I feel so happy for you. I'm sure you're a lovely dad...
     
  4. gazwkd

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    I have never been in the position you have with kids and a family, I cannot even imagine the pain this processed has caused. It's absolutely awesome that you've had the courage to come to terms with things and be honest with your family.

    I salute you sir.

    [​IMG]
     
  5. hexamum

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    Absolutely fantastic.
    I'm so happy for you.
    *high five*
     
  6. polecat

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    That is awesome how they all are supportive for you .
     
  7. Nickw

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    Iamgay

    So happy for you. It is true that we build up so much fear that sometimes it is paralyzing. The day before I came out to my wife I wept the entire day I was so afraid. My wife just laughed when I told her.

    You have a wonderful family. Best to you and them.
     
  8. Adray

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    Awesome!
     
  9. Stewie

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    That is great, I was hoping for this kind of update. Overjoyed for you :eusa_clap(!):eusa_clap
     
  10. I'm gay

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    Thank you all for your support and good wishes. I understand so much now why so many people who are already out continue to participate in this forum. It really helps to have such support, even if it's anonymous - wait, perhaps because it's anonymous. I have shared so much more with all of you than with anyone else, and doing so has helped me. Thanks and love to you all!
     
  11. TravelerMe

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    Wow! Awesome. So happy for you
     
  12. Katchoo

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    I'm so proud of you!!!!!
     
  13. looking for me

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    Hey I am Gay; Bravo Zulu mate. (BZ means job well done, old Navy code) I had the same fears and the same results, amazing the problems we create in our minds.
     
  14. greatwhale

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    Wow, that is what I call firmly taking the bull by the horns!

    Well done, amazing!
     
  15. Goldensun

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    Congratulations. Great to read it went so well
     
  16. Confused54

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    Congratulations. Great to read that it went well. I know the fear. I have yet to tell my adult kids, but it's coming.
     
  17. mangotree

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    That's amazing, congratulations. Hope you will be able to stick around in EC. Your experience and everything you've learned and even just the way you write has already helped others here.
     
  18. Mystic flower

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    Congratulations! So happy for you!!
     
  19. baristajedi

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    This is great news, congratulations!
     
  20. ssxElise

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    Thank you for sharing your story.
    Congratulations!