This is very annoying for me. My attraction to men is either low or nonexistent. If it's low, I would just be a gay leaning bisexual. The word bisexual doesn't describe my experience too well. I've felt alienated because of my lack of interest in guys. Gay seems better, but I just don't think my sexuality is pure enough. For now I just call myself queer, but that just feels like another word for bisexual or confused at this point.
Not trying to be flippant, but what does it matter? Why do you have to have a label? You can choose any label you want to use to identify your sexuality to others, but only you can really understand your own sexuality. As long as you are comfortable in your own skin - being the wonderful, unique individual that you are - the rest doesn't matter. And since our sexuality is fluid (more for some people, less for others), it's likely that yours will shift somewhat in time, and our questioning/exploration of who we are as sexual beings never seems to end, but just being comfortable with who we are is the most important thing. ---------- Post added 26th Aug 2016 at 12:46 AM ---------- Oh, and if you can find someone to love - especially you OTP - trying to put a specific label on your sexuality should seem even less important.
It doesn't matter if you have a low or non-existant attraction to men, you can still be gay if you consider yourself that way. There are a lot of gay or straight people who aren't "100% gay/straight", but the attraction is exclusive enough that they identify themselves that way. People aren't designed to be cookie-cutter and easily fit molds, so not everyone is going to perfectly tick all the boxes for a label - it's about finding the label that's most comfortable for you, if you even want a label in the first place. There's no "wrong" way to have a sexuality. If you want a bit more help, maybe take a look at the Kinsey Scale Test (if you haven't already) - most people consider Kinsey 0/1 to be straight, 2/3/4 to be bisexual, and 5/6 to be gay.
I can 127% relate to this feeling. I don't think I'm really all that attracted to guys (if at all), but definitely definitely am attracted to women. I've faced that internal struggle of not feeling bisexual enough to be bi, while worrying that I'm not gay enough to be gay. For me, it's hard not to believe that in order to identify as lesbian you have to feel, in a way, 'repulsed' by the thought of being intimate with a man. Yes, there are many lesbians who feel this way, but I am starting to realise that indifference or feeling that intimacy with a man would be missing something, can also mean you might be gay. SystemGlitch gives some very good advice here, advice he has given me too, which I have found really helpful. Like he says, not everyone ticks all the boxes for any given label, but you just have to go for whichever label (or lack of) you feel most comfortable with. I definitely feel your struggle and send hugs your way. x
Person: Do you like girls or guys? Me: Yes. I mean, Labels serve a purpose for sure. At the same time, they don't really mean much. You could just tell people: "I like girls," which gives off a general gay impression but also doesn't close off from possibly liking guys.
