Noticing the opposite sex (in the street, on tv etc) when gay?

Hi Everyone,

I've been questioning my sexuality for around 2 years now. I knew it would be a long journey but despite massive self discovery I'm still so far from an answer to my ultimate question.

Anyway, fir the sake of this question, let's assume I'm completely gay. There are numerous bits of evidence for and against this but lets just presume I'm gay rather than bisexual......why is it then, that I notice women everywhere and never notice men. It's a particular sticking point for me. If I decide I'm gay and try to accept and focus on that, I'll walk down the street to work, notice a hundred women and instantly start to doubt the whole gay thing all over again.

You don't need to be straight to appreciate beauty in the opposite sex - I get that.
Society tells us to be attracted to the opposite sex - I get that
Porn is an awful indicator of sexuality yet I've only ever watched straight porn (watching the guys a lot of the time) this is likely to have warped my view on sex and women - I get that

But still....it really gets to me. It's like a overwhelming natural attraction which seems built into my very being. My eyes can pick out an attractive women in a crowd of a hundred. Everywhere I go I constantly notice them. Their beauty. faces, breasts, legs, asses. It happens all the time and has done for as long as I can remember. Men on the other hand - never.

I guess my main question is this.....any gay guys or girls out there who have or do find themselves drawn exclusively to the opposite sex visually but sexually identify as being completely or near to completely gay?

 

Hey Patagonia, thanks for the feedback. Glad it's not just me. Do you notice guys as well?

 

anybody else?

 

I can see why you would ask the question.
I'm definitely sexually attracted to both sexes. It started with years of porn addiction, I would only watch straight porn but would focus on the guys at least as much as the girls and I was into anal stimulation. This led to years of teying to give up porn and eventually lead to questioning my sexuality. It was only after I started questioning that I was able to shift my perspective on porn and gave it up completely.

Now porn has been out of the question completely I've found that I'm still questioning just as much. I never notice guys, have never had a crush on a guy etc. With women its the complete opposite on both counts. So why then do I know I'm attracted to guys? If I fantasize using nothing but my own imagination (rather than memory or porn) then I can get off equally as esily and satisfyingly when thinking about men or women. Bisexual then. Simple. But no.....throughout my years of porn addiction and then throughout my years of questioning I've never had a relationship but I've tried to have sex 8 or 9 times. The very first time, I was very drunk and much to my complete surprise, I couldn't get hard. The pattern has continued with me being increasinly drunk each time and unable to perform each time. Is my sexual attraction to women a creation of my own brain? That's the quastion it brings me to each time. In truth, there are a lot of reasons that I may have struggled to perform each time. The alcohol, the porn addiction (known to lead to ED in severe cases) and the ever increasing pressure I would put on myself each time. But still, to not be able to perform on any occasion!! It makes me questjon whether I'm completely gay. So sometimes I decide that is the case. I'm gay, now stop questioning and start trying to adapt and come to terms with it. This mindset lasts for as long as it takes me to go outside or turn on the tv. Two minutes later I see a beautiful women who I am certain I am sexually attracted to and I stop focusing on coming to terms with being gay and start focusing on how to make it work with women.

That's an outline of the story which brings me to my original question