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I came out to a friend for the first time and my relationship is complicated!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Johanz, Aug 23, 2016.

  1. Johanz

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    First of all, I just came here pretty much just to vent and express my feelings. So, I met this guy while playing Pokemon Go almost a month ago, he was really cool and very outgoing. I hanged out with him quite few times. I have a lot of friends but I think my connection with this guy is really deep because he was the first person I told about my orientation. One time when we were hanging out he suddenly brought out the topic if I had a crush on him because his sister thinks I do the first time we met. He then asked if I was gay, I turned red and was blushing hardcore and I was super nervous and anxious. I was asked these questions before but I usually just deny it because I am not comfortable saying that I was Bi. So this friend told me he was just curious, and he just wanted to get to the point and he wanted honesty in friendship. So this is the first time I came out with someone. I felt so relieved that day. Anyways I hanged out with him a couple of times and we got really closer. He is straight guy and was in a relationship for 3 years. All he talks about is girls and how he wanted to experience other sexual things with other girls. I think he is in a verge of breaking up with his girlfriend because things are not doing well with them and they are also both going their separate ways for college and stuff. since he was the first person I came out with, since then I felt so comfortable with him.

    Fast forward to last week, I was going to visit my college roommate and I told him about my plans and I told him to come if he wants. I wast really expecting for him to come, I was just saying it to be nice because I mentioned it. But he decided to come with me. We were together for a week and we have gotten so much closer. I was in a trip with him for a week, we decided to visit my roommate after day 4. We were in a hotel for 3 days and we shared bed. We then crashed at my roommates place for the last few days, he and my other friend has been sleeping in the floor while I sleep in the couch. 2 days ago he insisted that he sleep in the couch, I tried my best kicking him out but he refused, so I shared the couch with him, he was sleeping only in his undies.
    That night I woke up to him rubbing his dick off me. I was honestly so turned on, he was also touching my stomach and stuff. So this guy has never had any experience with a guy before. I just played along with it, he then asked me what i want to do because he was so horny. I was so horny too but I told him I'm not sure about this. I think this guy is super hot, I initially had a huge crush on him when we first met, but the moment I came out to him I had so much respect for this guy and I want him to be my best friend. ( when he asked if I had a crush on him I told him, I find him super hot but Im not sexually attracted to him but I was lying I want him) I told him I'm not sure because I don't want to complicate our relationship and he said he respected it and that he was sorry for taking a pass on me, he was just really horny. Honestly tho, I was super turned on. i felt bad for him so I just touched his dick and played with it, but he told me to stop because he said he wants to remain in my life and doesn't want anything to change. I told him we can just jerk off together, he still said no, because he thinks it will change our relationship, I told him I will suck his dick if we don't jerk off together but he just said no because it might complicate our friendship.

    Now all I could think off is that why I wasted this opportunity to hook up with him. i told him that he better not try this thing when I'm drunk because I would have less preservation by then and i would deff hook up with him and he said he would keep that in his mind. I think this guys is great and I dont wanna loose him. So far our relationship hasn't change but something is deff off. We shared the same bed and I tried touching his body and trip slipping my hand in his crouch and he just took my hand off. Lol
    Anyone have any other experience sleeping with their best friend and be okay with it? Do you think hooking up with him will ruin our friendship? I want him to be my friend forever and he seems to feel the same way too. But it was so unfair that he did that to me and now all I think about is fantasizing about him. is the sex worth it? Can we still be best friend and hook up at the same time?

    This guy doesn't really have many guy friends and he really appreciated tagging along with this vacation.
     
  2. Jax12

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    I don't think you wasted an opportunity with him. Rather, I think you might've saved the friendship between you two. Hooking up in my books would have been a bad idea because you wouldn't be able to see each other in the same way ever again. There are many other guys/girls out there who are sexually attractive and you'll have a much higher chance being with them in a relationship as oppose to a hookup (unless a hookup is what you want).

    There are many fish in the sea.
     
  3. Goldensun

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    If he's your best friend and you are sexually attracted to him and he to you, I'd say take the risk and start a relationship. Don't just hook up with him for sex, but ask him if he's interested in a relationship. It just might be the best thing in the world or it might not work out. But at least try and see if you can make it work rather than spend years asking yourself if it would have worked.
     
  4. Johanz

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    Jax12- yeah you are right, but I can't seem to stop thinking about it. We are sorta back to normal now, I can even talk to him about guys and he talks to me about girls.. He is really confusing I think he is not completely straight because He made comments about my other friend being sexy as fuck lol but I think he is genuinely a great communicator he is very nice to talk to and such a great friend to have, he is prolly just saying that to agree with me.
    Golden sun-
    I'm not sure if he is sexually attracted to me, he told me most of his gay friends are usually attracted to him, so I wanna be the first guy friends to say no.. Lmao just to be petty.. Ive never been in a relationship with a guy so I don't know how Il feel about that.. That's prolly too overwhelming right now. I deff want to keep him as a friend no matter what.. But I wanna tell him I keep thinking about what happen the other night. Also, is it possible that he made a pass on me just because I said I don't find him attractive that's really mean, playing with my emotions like that.. Lmao
     
  5. Johanz

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    I can't stop thinking about that night! I wish I just went through with it.. He is back to college now so we don't communicate as often as before.. I keep thinking that I hurt his ego when I said no to his advances.. if only I knew this would happen I would have hook up with him lol
     
  6. Quantumreality

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    Johanz,

    Didn't you say the two of you are pretty much back to normal?

    Then let it go. Is it worth the risk of losing your friend? Making yourself mad with frustration isn't going to help anything. Find a nice guy where you are now who could be a potential bf, and move on with your life.

    Take Care.
     
    #6 Quantumreality, Sep 18, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2016