I just got back from a week away in a third world country. It was a holiday vacation like nothing I have ever experienced, and has helped me appreciate how human I have become since accepting myself - and how closed off I was while in the closet. As I travelled throughout the country I was in, I opened myself up to meeting people on a personal and emotional level. I did not realize I was doing it while there, but upon reflection, this is exactly what happened. Where prior to accepting myself, I was able and eager to meet others, it was always on a very superficial level with no real connection. Even on holidays, I always stayed at westernized hotels that would give you an artificial taste of local culture; but never the real deal. This trip was completely different. I ignored all the modern conveniences typical in a modern westernized country; and I was unphased. High heat, no air conditioning, rice and bean meals, poor highways and roads, hard uncomfortable beds, low light rooms - were all accessories on a trip that played a supporting role in allowing me to truly open myself up to others. I met students trying to define a future for themselves in an economy that does not have enough jobs to support their population, I met and engaged LGBT youth that were struggling to find acceptance in a predominantly Christian conservative society, I injected myself directly into contested emotional disputes between locals, I traveled on foreign undeveloped "highways" being stopped by police to have my documents checked, and I made friends with people whom I truly connected with in a way that I thought was beyond my capacity. Landing back in a more western civilized country, and waking up this morning reflecting on this trip, I gained a real appreciation for what it really means to be human. I ignored all prior conventions that I previously established for what a vacation was supposed to be, and made myself truly and completely vulnerable while on this new adventure. I would have never been able to go on a trip like this, making such a deep emotional connection with those I met in the country I was in had I not accepted myself and become true to me. .......and last night, having arrived home, getting into my western bed, with the air conditioning on, I slept like a baby!
That sounds like an amazing trip. My girlfriend speaks of similar trips, and I only can dream of taking ones like it someday in the future.
Ah, what an amazing life experience! I got a taste of this, too, when I was young (mission trips to Jamaica when I was 13 and 18) and, ever since then, I have to always be just a little uncomfortable especially on vacation. Traveling was never a time to repair myself but to break myself open, be vulnerable and afraid, and come back in awe of how fortunate, how wrong and how human I actually am. Where did you go, if you don't mind sharing a bit more?
