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How Should I Come Out to College Professors?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by IntrovertedAlex, Aug 17, 2016.

  1. IntrovertedAlex

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    By this Thursday I want to be out to my community college professors as a trans guy. I already know what I want to tell them (that I want to go by a different name & pronouns), but I don’t know how I should word it or tell them. I have some plain blank greeting cards I could write it on so I know for sure they’ll see/read it. Or would email be more appropriate? Since I’m shy & nervous about this whole thing, I’d prefer not to tell them in person unless I absolutely need to.

    How exactly would I word it? Do any of you have ideas or have been in a similar scenario? I usually have trouble putting my exact thoughts into words & writing. :confused:
     
  2. I'm gay

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    The only problem I see with you not telling them in person is that they won't be able to put a face to your message. The next time they see you, will they know you are the person who emailed them?
     
  3. IntrovertedAlex

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    Yes, at least for my anatomy & physiology course. The website the class uses (Canvas) to receive class updates & download class materials also has a section where you can send messages to the professor or the other students. Our profile has our names, & we're required to have a picture of ourselves as our profile picture. So he would know who was messaging him.

    As for my American Gov. professor, he uses a different site called BlackBoard. I'm not sure if he'd be able to tell if it was me if I emailed him through there. I think the only identifying info would be my email address, which has my surname in it. So that likely won't work. Should I just write it on a note for this particular professor & hand it to him after class?
     
  4. I'm gay

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    I think any way that makes you comfortable is a great way for you to do it. It sounds like from your posts that you'd rather not tell your professors face-to-face. If that idea is stressing you out, then don't do it that way. The important thing is that you want to be recognized by your preferred pronouns and your right name. That's the real goal here, right? However you get there. The rest will come in time.

    As for what to write, just a simple message that you are in transition and what your preferred pronouns are and to please be addressed by _____ name.

    A college professor should be able to handle that without any difficulty.
     
    #4 I'm gay, Aug 18, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2016
  5. IntrovertedAlex

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    Ok, I messaged the anatomy professor & wrote a note for the American Gov. professor. Now I just need to wait for their responses. The college I go to is pretty accepting, so I hope they'll be positive :confused:
     
  6. I'm gay

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    Good luck to you! I hope you have a fantastic college experience. (!)
     
  7. SemiCharmedLife

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    I was a college TA and got an email from a student the day before classes were about to start that said something like "Hi Mr. SemiCharmedLife, my name according to university records is Brian but I'm transgender and transitioning to female, so I prefer to be addressed by Sarah. I'd be happy to discuss with you if you have any questions." I replied back "Hi Sarah, thank you for letting me know. I'll make sure to get your name changed on my sheet when I call roll on the first day of class. I look forward to seeing you in class."

    I'm really glad she let me know beforehand, not because I wouldn't have been comfortable interacting with her but just to make sure I didn't use her birth name from my roster sheet and cause any awkwardness.
     
  8. IntrovertedAlex

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    I have yet to hear from my American Gov professor, but my Anatomy professor was extremely accepting when he read the email. He started using my name right away & never slipped up :icon_bigg