Long story short: there's this girl I used to date, we stopped that because she's kinda poly and I'm not, I was ok with just being friends, and now I'm not. We've only seen each other a few times since we "broke up" and the first time we spent time alone together I was more or less completely fine with it. We had a lovely time, talked a lot and I just liked hanging out with her. But then, unintentionally, I started thinking about her more again and when we went to a party together last week it was close to torture. All I wanted to do was touch her, be close to her. But I knew I shouldn't, that she wouldn't want that, so I didn't do anything. I mean, I took her hand once, but only to get through a crowded room without losing her. She made sure to let go of my hand as soon as we arrived where we were going. I thought my feelings for her were going away, but now they're coming back. As I said, we haven't seen each other that much for the past month or so because we've both been busy, but now she wants to hang out more again. I want to see her but I also know that's it's going to hurt everytime we hang out. So here's what I'm thinking: I'm really attracted to her and would welcome any opportunity to, say, make out with her. The problem is that 1. I don't know if she'd want that (mixed signals) and 2. it would probably be stupid because what I really want is a relationship and I won't get that. So what do I do? :icon_sad:
I had to google what poly meant. So she wants an open relationship and you don't? If that's the reason you two broke up then that's perfectly legitimate. You're still young and there are plenty of other people out there. Whether she is the perfect match for you is for you to decide. I recommend you two talk about what you both want. Since you're not sure of what she wants since she gives you mixed signals. If she's willing to settle down for you then go for it. You obviously want her. I hope this works out for you.
That's a tough situation. If you cannot accept the fact that she's poly then things are not going to work out. And you should never force yourself to be okay with something that makes you feel uncomfortable. However, if you decide you're okay with it, then I'm sure at some point, this girl is going to try to bring someone else into the relationship. Or she's going to end up dating this other person while she's with you. And then that's when you have to really ask yourself if its something that you'll be okay with. If not, then it's probably not a good idea for you to pursue any type of romantic relationship with her again. It will just be torture for you to see her with someone else, which is completely understandable. So, now, it's time to do some soul searching; are you willing to sacrifice/compromise what you want in order to be with her?
