I feel like I'll be laughed at for saying this in real life, but I just gotta tell someone. First off, I'm not a cryer. I don't cry at movies or situations (exception being Shark Week). However, there's a lot of times that I'll be watching a kids movie of some description, and then a song will happen, and suddenly I'm in tears because of "trans feels". The song just fits so well with how I feel/how I want to be and just. Gah. The first time it happened was with the song Reflection from Mulan, and I still have to fight back crying when I hear it now: Spoiler Look at me, I will never pass for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter. Can it be, I'm not meant to play this part? Now I see, that if I were truly to be myself, I would break my family's heart. Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Somehow I cannot hide Who I am, though I've tried. When will my reflection show, who I am inside? When will my reflection show, who I am inside? And today it happened with blinking Let It Go from Frozen: Spoiler (Bolded the main lyrics that relate) The snow glows white on the mountain tonight Not a footprint to be seen. A kingdom of isolation, and it looks like I'm the Queen The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside Couldn't keep it in; Heaven knows I've tried Don't let them in, don't let them see Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know Well now they know Let it go, let it go Can't hold it back anymore Let it go, let it go Turn away and slam the door I don't care what they're going to say Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway It's funny how some distance Makes everything seem small And the fears that once controlled me Can't get to me at all It's time to see what I can do To test the limits and break through No right, no wrong, no rules for me, I'm free! Let it go, let it go I am one with the wind and sky Let it go, let it go You'll never see me cry Here I stand And here I'll stay Let the storm rage on My power flurries through the air into the ground My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast I'm never going back, the past is in the past Let it go, let it go And I'll rise like the break of dawn Let it go, let it go That perfect girl is gone Here I stand In the light of day Let the storm rage on The cold never bothered me anyway! There are more songs that aren't directly LGBT related, but still give me really intense emotions when I hear them. And the majority of them are indeed from bloody kids movies. I feel really weird that this happens to me so frequently. Does anyone else get moments like this over general songs?
Yeah, quite a bit actually. I even have a playlist on Spotify that is full of trans themed songs and basically every time I hear those songs I start sobbing. I don't know why I do that to myself. Anyway, the most obvious "anthem song" for me as a trans-guy is from the movie Treasure Planet. It's called I'm Still Here (Jim's Theme) and here is the link if you want to take a listen: https://open.spotify.com/track/6BfOhpHADzrvKN2kMPTMPv
I use music for when I write, using the themes and lyrics to help develop scenes because the songs fit my characters/situation. But I have to stop listening to some songs because I always tend to lead them back to how I'm feeling and what I'm doing and where I want my life to be. Reflection from Mulan has been getting to me ever since the movie came out when I was about four, that song made things even worse once I heard Christina Aguilera's version a few years later. Because I didn't understand why I felt so wrong, just that I did and this song proved it. It doesn't just happen for trans feelings either. MCR's I'm Not Okay is one I gotta stop listening to because it just is my life.
Nope, my niece was at ballet today and one of the songs she danced to was Let It Go. Had to excuse myself because I didn't want to burst out crying in the middle of the hall. Damn, I remember seeing that movie as a kid, I need to watch it again... that song fits so well too. I swear some of these writers are secretly marketing to us. I'd never heard Aguilera's version and just gave it a listen, it's so good. I love the song I'm Not Okay too, a lot of MCR's stuff is so good and I think it's perfect for the "outcast" kids. I was always partial to The End when I had very dark days, especially the lyrics "if you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can find out first-hand what it's like to be me", "another contusion, my funeral jag / here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag" - there were a few points when my main motivation to stay alive was that if I died I'd be buried in a dress - and "when I grow up, I want to be nothing at all". I will say it's certainly a relief I'm not the only one who feels this way some songs. :lol:
There was a point in my life when that was my only motivation to stay alive, too. MCR was literally my teenage years. I still love them.
I asked this because I made a thread similar to this in the entertainment section a while back, and I did similar things with Let it Go. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/entertainment-media/192309-song-trans-ish-feel.html (also i really love MCR)
Ah, I joined this site less than a month ago. XD So didn't know that thread existed. Sorry if I kinda stole your thunder.
Nah it's cool. I was just kinda surprised to see someone have pretty much the same exact reaction to certain songs.
I can relate to what your saying. Throughout my life I'vie heard songs that I have related to. But the one that really struck A nerve & brought tears to my eyes (also from A movie) was Angel from City of Angel's. I bought the sound track & used to listen to that song over & over while I was driving alone. It felt like the writer got inside my head & read my thoughts. Or at least lived A life similar to mine. As for being in the arms of the angel when I die. I can only hope this will happen in the end.
That is a beautiful song, I always really liked Iris from that movie too. The movie itself is so sad though. My mom called me a monster because I didn't cry at it... but I was crying on the inside. :tears: -- Was watching Disney movies with my niece today and came across Son of Man in Tarzan. Coming of age songs seem to have a record of coming across with trans-undertones. Spoiler Oh, the power to be strong And the wisdom to be wise All these things will come to you in time On this journey that you're making There'll be answers that you'll seek And it's you who'll climb the mountain It's you who'll reach the peak Son of man, look to the sky Lift your spirit, set it free Some day you'll walk tall with pride Son of man, a man in time you'll be Though there's no one there to guide you No one to take your hand But with faith and understanding You will journey from boy to man Son of man, look to the sky Lift your spirit, set it free Some day you'll walk tall with pride Son of man, a man in time you'll be In learning you will teach And in teaching you will learn You'll find your place beside the ones you love Oh, and all the things you dreamed of The visions that you saw Well, the time is drawing near now It's yours to claim in all Son of man, look to the sky Lift your spirit, set it free Some day you'll walk tall with pride Son of man, a man in time you'll be Son of man, son of man's a man for all to see