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Why are we seemingly addicted to sadness?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Canterpiece, Aug 14, 2016.

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  1. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

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    I feel like there's a sort of fundamental human aspect to sadness, that matter who you are, how you were raised, what your opinions are, we can all relate to one another through our struggles because sadness is universal. I feel like because of that, we talk about it more, sometimes because it makes us feel like we're bringing those listening closer to us, and maybe sometimes because sympathy from others can be the most comforting thing, especially in times when we don't know how to comfort ourselves. There's also something really satisfying about feeling sadness, living it out to it's fullest extent and then moving on. Maybe it makes us stronger, and maybe to some extent there's an evolutionary purpose for it. The ability to feel sadness and to communicate about it is fundamental to humans learning how to feel compassion for and want to help each other, to want to protect each other from the same sadnesses and losses that we ourselves have felt. Losing someone can be the saddest thing for us, perhaps because we are programmed to want to protect our own kind and those close to us.
    It is also sadness that really makes us appreciate the good times and want to strive for them, to make our lives and sometimes the lives of others that much better if we have the power to. We live in sadness and we rescue ourselves from it. We want to feel it because it brings us back to some kind of deep reality.
     
    #21 bubbles123, Aug 15, 2016
  2. StefaniPurrr

    StefaniPurrr
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    Wow .. what a great conversion. These long posts with so much feeling and insight. This thread inspires me! I really appreciate all the feelings being expressed. :slight_smile:

    My only other addition would be that positive self-talk is very important. We don't have a Star Trek holodeck to be the "perfect" what we want to be. I would love to look like Taylor Swift, but, I can be the best "me" I can be. I'm ok with that and smile everyday that I accept myself and move closer to the real "me."
     
    #22 StefaniPurrr, Aug 15, 2016
  3. Canterpiece

    Canterpiece
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    This thread, along with a few other things has inspired me to structure my holiday better. Sure, it's time off. But having no structure and having such a bizarre and unhealthy sleep cycle, well...it's starting to mess with me. Starting from today, I plan to think about what I want from the rest of my days off. I'm not really sure how I'm going to fit my friends into this, but if talking to them at weird times means sacrificing my sanity, well... I think that's a good indication that the system I have now (or rather lack of) isn't working terribly well.

    The thing you said about positive self-talk, I agree that is very true. It's easy when you constantly hear criticism to internalise it, and this isn't helpful when said criticism isn't constructive and just turns into self-hatred. I'd urge you to check out Boyinaband. He's a YouTuber, and I checked his channel recently to find that he seemed to be going through similar problems. He made a point of what keeps you productive, shouldn't be self-hatred. This may seem obvious for some, but it helped me put things in perspective at least.

    He uploaded a video recently called “the happiness test” where he agrees to follow quite a tight schedule, and work on a better state of mind. I’ve heard the advice of putting things in a schedule before, but somehow advice from someone who has clearly struggled is easier to take more seriously than from someone who clearly hasn’t.

    He also made a music video called “I’m not dead” which I could relate to on some parts, which isn’t a good thing. It has certainly inspired me to try and get out of this mindset though. I wish you well on your quest to build up a better self-image of yourself. :slight_smile:
     
    #23 Canterpiece, Aug 16, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2016
  4. StefaniPurrr

    StefaniPurrr
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    Music can help inspire or bring you down. Be careful what you listen to.

    One has to look in the mirror and accept themselves. That's where it starts. I don't care what others think. When I look in the mirror, I just think that what I see makes me happy. Of course, I just got a new dress that looks fab on me! :slight_smile: But, it all starts with you. Be confident in who you are, others will get that.
     
    #24 StefaniPurrr, Aug 16, 2016
  5. Canterpiece

    Canterpiece
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    (*hug*)
     
    #25 Canterpiece, Aug 16, 2016
  6. StefaniPurrr

    StefaniPurrr
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    Thanks for the*hug* .. we all need hugs! :icon_bigg
     
    #26 StefaniPurrr, Aug 17, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2016
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