This will be TMI, but anyway...:icon_redf Off the back of my thread on sex with the opposite-sex, I had a thought: Is it normal to always prefer masturbation to sex? For me, sex has always been more hassle for less (or no) satisfaction. So, I don't initiate sex because I don't really see the point. It's not something I've really thought about before, so just wondered how normal it is. If there is a normal, that is.
I wouldn't say that prefer it to sex, but given that I have a difficult time climaxing while having sex, I'm usually providing some sort of assistance. However, it does take away the closeness that I crave while having sex, because I'd prefer my partner to be able to help me have an orgasm, but sadly, that isn't always the case. I think if you rely on masturbation, your body will get so used to it, that it may become difficult to have any sort of satification while you're with someone else. For me, being with a man, I've rarely ever had an orgasm. I could probably count on one hand how many times I've actually orgasmed without providing a bit of help. It is rather disappointing, but I suppose sex isn't always about reaching climax. It's the closeness that I crave more than anything.
I'm exactly the same. Thank you for sharing. I've never been with anyone but my current partner so it's hard to say, but maybe it is more to do with me.
I have always felt like masturbation was more satisfying than sex with my male partners, NotMyName. So I understand what you're feeling. I can't speak to your personal experience, but for me, the sex itself was often a bit mechanical, and my desire was usually not very strong. I have had enjoyable sex with men but there's always something a bit less than what I'm wanting, if that makes any sense.
Thank you for sharing your experience, barista. I guess, from my experience, I don't really understand what the big deal is. Do people actually have earth-shattering sex in real life? I don't know. Of course, there could be a lot reasons why sex hasn't been fantastic for me.
Well...so far, even just making out with my girlfriend has made me see what the big deal can be in terms of intimacy, desire, closeness, everything... but that's just my experience...
I have disappointing sex before, and I've had great sex before. Being with a man was usually disappointing and I didn't understand why. However, every woman I've been with has gotten me off easily. I think the being with a man thing really was the problem.
Thank you for your replies. It could be any number of things though, I suppose. I don't think we've ever had chemistry, so we're probably not compatible. It might be that we're just not doing it right. Seems like a big gamble.
I totally believe it depends on your partner and how much of the focus is on pleasing YOU during sex. Now, when you masturbate, the entire focus is on you. For me, its hard to beat mutual masturbation where you are both giving it your all to please your partner.
I like both sex and masturbation! And mutual masturbation, LOL. Guys are easier. FWIW, I can usually get my lady an orgasm by going down on her (oral). Intercourse, not so much. I used to worry that I sucked at intercourse but was decent at oral. Sounds like I'm not unusual there...
THIS!!! Both with same sex and opposite sex partners for me. When both of you work on one of you the results can be amazing. There is nothing so satisfying as satisfying someone you care for. Communication is important. It is possible to integrate self stimulation into love making with great results.
Thanks for your replies. I suppose it makes a difference if you're turned on and physically attracted to your partner.
You know as crazy as it sounds, I've only been with like 2 maybe 3 people whom I was physically attracted to, which made sex a lot more satisfying. The other people were not my type at all :icon_redf Most of the guys I've been with, were just out of desperation because I was in denial about my attraction towards women. I thought sleeping with them would help, but nope, it did not. If anything, it made me feel worse. So, yeah you can have a great relationship with someone but physical attraction is a prerequisite.
