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Ready To Give Up My Same-Sex Pursuits Due To The Differing Dynamics Of Same-Sex Roman

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by caliwoman, Aug 12, 2016.

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  1. trisb

    trisb
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    Re: Ready To Give Up My Same-Sex Pursuits Due To The Differing Dynamics Of Same-Sex R

    She sounds emotionally unstable. I have met one extremely clingy and unstable woman online as well. After ignoring her, she would catfish me using multiple profiles, send me messages and multiple-likes my profile. A real pain in the ass whom I wish she would be gone for good.

    I agree with Poppy43 that it is better to take dating from online to offline where you get a feel of the real person. I am quite skeptical of online dating since being harassed non-stop by this rotten apple in our community.
     
    #21 trisb, Aug 14, 2016
  2. caliwoman

    caliwoman Banned

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    Re: Ready To Give Up My Same-Sex Pursuits Due To The Differing Dynamics Of Same-Sex R

    I spoke to her last night and I'm really confused. She didn't remember events as they happened, insisiting that she was tired, hurt, and had a couple glasses of wine. Or she straight up said, "I don't remember it that way." What? I dunno what to say. Is she crazy? Lying? Forgetful?

    I don't get it!
     
    #22 caliwoman, Aug 14, 2016
  3. Highlander2

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    Re: Ready To Give Up My Same-Sex Pursuits Due To The Differing Dynamics Of Same-Sex R

    No she is plain just playing with you and making out that it's you who has the problem, in her mind tricks game she seems to be playing. The "well that's not what I meant and if that's how your picking things up then maybe you have the problem" kind of way.
     
    #23 Highlander2, Aug 14, 2016
  4. Althidon

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    Re: Ready To Give Up My Same-Sex Pursuits Due To The Differing Dynamics Of Same-Sex R

    Be careful! This could be a precursor to gaslighting - "That's not how it happened, you're remembering wrong." or "Are you crazy? That's not what happened!" It's common in narcissistic relationships.

    This doesn't sound like a woman I'd want to be involved with. Anybody that got seriously upset after 12 hours of non-communication isn't someone for me, especially if they can't be bothered to reach out before getting angry.

    Don't take this woman to be indicative of all women. She sounds like she has some serious problems.
     
    #24 Althidon, Aug 14, 2016
  5. Poppy43

    Poppy43
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    Re: Ready To Give Up My Same-Sex Pursuits Due To The Differing Dynamics Of Same-Sex R

    I agree with the others on here shes playing games with you. Basically you deserve better, much better. Just tell her where to go, or never bother replying and block her.
    Are there any groups or communty things near you that you can join? You sound to be a nice person and I'm sure you'd meet a decent woman through these.
    If you live in LA then theres bound to be loads of great groups to join.
     
    #25 Poppy43, Aug 15, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2016
  6. caliwoman

    caliwoman Banned

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    Re: Ready To Give Up My Same-Sex Pursuits Due To The Differing Dynamics Of Same-Sex R

    I've decided to take a break from this situation. I'm bummed out because we did get along so well and I haven't been able to get along with someone like this since I was in high school, but she seemed passive aggressive, needed loads of reassurance and wasn't very forthcoming with her feelings.

    She could just be very guarded and have been hurt in her past, but this was too much, too soon. Very bad timing.

    She's still living with her ex-girlfriend and I'm still here with my husband. Then there was her request for me not to sleep with my husband. When I asked her why she was saying that, she said it was because she's old-fashioned. I mean, we don't even know each other's last names and have never met. We've been talking for a week, although the communication is constant or at least, daily.

    I admitted to her that I've never spoken like this to anyone in my adult life, to which she replied the same. Now, I went through the ringer last year with a woman and had to learn all the lessons associated with being codependent and toxic. Had I not had that experience, I might be acting the way this woman is acting...in SOME regards. Not all. Probably with wanting reassurance and more communication. Having had that experience, I act differently now.

    Ugh, I hope I didn't hurt her feelings. I told her maybe when our situations change, like at the end of December or the beginning of the New Year, we could resume as friends or more-than. I'm hedging my bets that this also won't freak her out. She seems to like to be in control.

    I told her this isn't goodbye, it's ill see ya later and that the timing sucked.

    I am bummed out, because I truly did like her. Still, there were things there that made me question. I hope I didn't hurt her feelings.
     
    #26 caliwoman, Aug 15, 2016
  7. BrookeVL

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    Re: Ready To Give Up My Same-Sex Pursuits Due To The Differing Dynamics Of Same-Sex R

    Just curious, if you don't mind me asking, but why December? Are you planning on doing something to change your current situation between then and now?
     
    #27 BrookeVL, Aug 15, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2016
  8. caliwoman

    caliwoman Banned

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    Re: Ready To Give Up My Same-Sex Pursuits Due To The Differing Dynamics Of Same-Sex R

    Yeah, my husband and I agreed to give our marriage a shot and kinda see what progress we can make by the end of the year. Who knows if we can... But this will also allow me to get my individual situation right and then progress from a better spot. My goal is by then to be able to just jump into living on my own.

    Honestly, this situation feels like a repeat of 2001 for me. I had to choose between my boyfriend (at the time) and staying with him or leave him for the unknown and choose the guy I had began cheating on him with, which was my now-husband. In hindsight, there was a 3rd option and that was to be on my own. I haven't had a minute out of a relationship since 1998, when I was 16 years old. I'm 34 now.

    My husband and I jumped into a relationship really quick. We were engaged after a month and moved in after 3. Whoa, that was fast. Ha.

    I'm choosing to stay with what I have, but to work towards being on my own. It's the best course of action and the smartest thing to do at this current moment in time. I have limited hopes that the marriage will actually work out. It maybe good for a few weeks, then dwindle back to what it always does.

    So, we'll see...
     
    #28 caliwoman, Aug 15, 2016
  9. BrookeVL

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    Re: Ready To Give Up My Same-Sex Pursuits Due To The Differing Dynamics Of Same-Sex R

    I was thinking maybe something like that...I hope things work out, no matter which way you inevitably go!(*hug*)
     
    #29 BrookeVL, Aug 15, 2016
  10. caliwoman

    caliwoman Banned

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    Re: Ready To Give Up My Same-Sex Pursuits Due To The Differing Dynamics Of Same-Sex R

    Awwww, thanks friend!! It's much appreciated!! :kiss:


     
    #30 caliwoman, Aug 15, 2016
  11. ThatGirlShauna

    ThatGirlShauna
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    Re: Ready To Give Up My Same-Sex Pursuits Due To The Differing Dynamics Of Same-Sex R

    That sounds like so much drama. It's definitely the person and not women in general. I've met a few women who have been rude when I needed space, but most of them are not like that at all! I would not be able to handle that at all.
     
    #31 ThatGirlShauna, Aug 15, 2016
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