I am new to being gay. I met a very nice, married guy on a hookup app. We were both really I think looking for friends. We talked and then met for dinner and had fun together afterwards at a hotel. I fell instantly for him. He's in an open marriage. We met again for fun time. Anyone have any advice? I feel myself trying hard not to fall for him, but I pretty much did from the beginning. We just get along so well. We are both socially awkward and nerdy, plus we kind of look alike (him better) and are nearly the same size bodies. What does someone usually mean by open marriage?
Open marriages from what I have heard are normally where the couple is okay with their spouse getting a little side action. I've seen a fw articles on it. Every open relationship is different for some its no side action at the house, you have to tell the other whenever you get side action, not getting emotionally interested in this person. I suggst asking the man the secifics of his relationship and what an open marriage measn to him and his spouse.
The feelings part makes this kind of tough. When getting involved with somebody who is in an open relationship, you should try not to have romantic feelings for them. Friendship sure, but romantic feelings? For somebody who is unavailable in that way? You're setting yourself up for heartbreak.
This guy's husband also says on the various apps they are in an open relationship, and he is looking for a gym buddy or cuddle buddy. I just have trouble separating the feelings, especially after and when we're laying in each other's arms and looking into each other's eyes. Plus, we just text and say incredibly nice things to each other. He is socially awkward and doesn't really like direct questions or very much interaction.
If you are unable to separate your emotions from the physical part. Then you might be better off cutting it off now and moving on. He is married. He is not available to you emotionally. Don't torture yourself.
I agree with OnTheHighway. The moment you started developing feelings for him should be a red flag. It will hurt you in the long run, so it would be better to stop seeing him now than later.
Have to agree, you're setting yourself up for true heartbreak. If you can't keep it just physical and on friendly terms, then you should break it off.
The thing with being friends with benefits is that someone always gets feelings for the other person... It doesn't happen all the time but 9/10 times someone always gets attached, so it's not something that I would advise you to do/have. I would say that you need to search deep and find out of it's something you can do. You sound like you are falling for him so maybe it isn't the right thing for you.
Open marriage in this context likely means you can screw around but no feelings involved. It's tricky for most people.
