For those of you who've dealt with denial or coming out..

To keep the answers to your questions nice and concise, I'll simply say yes. Personally, it took a while to get over the anxiety it brings and certain aspects became easier to believe over time like the fact that I knew I was attracted to men. Aside from that, I still do get anxious and doubts pop up every now and then but I've just found that over time, they've dissipated more and more. Still, good luck with what you're probably dealing with now and I hope that you will find your answer to who you're attracted to soon.

 

Can I just ask you a question? Did you at any point whilst you were experiencing these things get erections from thinking about women? Like you mentioned "praying to be straight" what do you mean by that? Like were you never interested in girls and new from an early age you were interested in guys? Im just curious because I feel very similar to the person that posted this thread and your comment has thrown me off slightly. Like I dont want to sleep with a man or get intimate with another male so does that mean im like gay in denial or in the closet?

---------- Post added 9th Aug 2016 at 12:21 AM ----------

How did you know you were attracted to men? Like can you talk me through what your thoughts were? Like did you want to touch his muscles? Kiss him etc?

 

Sometime I'll spend long hours sitting in my room thinking about it..
Even though I don't want t think about it..
It scares me and it's easier to not think about..

 

I've been on and off about these question. When I was still questioning I was constantly depressed and I thought about it ALL the time. Only recently I've gotten over depression and it kinda got replaced with a mix of different things. Even though I know that I am gay I do still look at guys and think if he's attractive or not.

 

The big thing missing is if you're seriously attracted to men now. My guess is that if you get your anxiety issues under control, you likely won't be. I had an inter-related issue actually, where my desire for, I'll just say guys, contributed a lot to my panic attacks and anxiety.

 

At that time of my life, erections came pretty easily no matter what I was doing or looking at. I could just be driving my car and it would stand to attention with no provocation.
I could definitely tell the difference between the "intensity" of the erection between looking at men vs women though.

Women were always a kind of a forced thought.
I found that I would look at or think about images of women while ... giving myself a helping hand ... but only because I felt like I should and because I thought it would "help" me to find real life women sexually attractive.
"Finishing" while looking at or thinking about women felt like an achievement rather than a relief.

By praying to be straight, I mean ... praying to God to take the gay attraction away and asking him to make me look at women with lust and romance in my heart like all of my friends did.

I don't remember a time in my life when I didn't have some kind of a crush on another guy my age.
From the age of 5, I was in a swimming club and played other sports and I still remember the names of all the guys who I liked looking at. I always had an appreciation for the male physique and for guys who I considered good looking.
That appreciation never ever arose for girls.