Stereotypical christan familly

I was once in a similar situation, yet I don't truly have any great advice to share other than to keep your mind open and question everything, not all is what it seems.

I would implore you to take caution, if they truly care about you they will treat you in a just manner regardless of their beliefs and do what is best for you. If their love was a ruse however disownings have been known to take place and in extreme cases, planned violence.

The only choice you have made is to be honest with yourself, and I feel you would regret it more in the long run if you had not done so.

 

Okay, the first point is that it is not a choice, or a 'bad decision'. Nobody wakes up one morning and decides to be gay and I don't think many people would choose it, if it were a matter of choice.

Second point, you can believe with all your heart, mind, soul and strength, but it will not change your sexual orientation by the slightest degree. Many people have tried to pray their sexuality away with zero success. I do not believe God wishes or desires us to be straight.

Third point, the Bible does not condemn homosexuality. In actual fact, the Bible makes no reference to homosexuality at all. Many conservative Christians have decided for themselves that the Bible rejects all same sex relationships, but that's not what is written at all.

Many people choose to drop hints before coming out, while others wait and tell people in a one to one conversation. If the idea of a one to one is difficult, a letter might be a good option, but you really do need to think about timing very carefully.

If you are still at school, college or university and depend on your parents/family for support and security, do you really want to come out now and put everything else in your life at risk? If they react to the news with horror, what might be the consequences? What would be your plan B? Even though the closet is a terrible, oppressive place to be you may find that it is preferable (in the short term) to being out and completely alone in the world.

Of course, we will be here to offer support and guidance if you decide to come out now, but don't act in haste. A good coming out requires some planning and forethought - it's not simply about telling all and hoping for the best.

 

Well, if you feel the need to throw them off your tracks so to speak, you could have a fake relationship with a friend for a week or so and then "break up" so they think you're straight. Make up a story, stereotypical straight relationships are everywhere and not hard to mimic.

I'm not too sure if it's the best thing though, but if it keeps you out of those "conversion therapy" sessions which are simply mental abuse it may be a stable resort. I'd probably say to save that as a backup plan though, in most scenarios there will be better options that are merely more obscure.

 

I'm not a religious person, but do have religious parent and remember the passages of Leviticus distinctly. Could you expound on this? I understand the fact that Christ is the 'end of the law', but that doesn't change that it's still mentioned in the Old Testament. I'm not attempting to be argumentative, but curious and not being Christian, not the most well-studied on the subject or anything. The only gay Christians I've met are the kind that preach abstinence and prayer as a method to deal with desires.

 

This, but be very careful with your partner in crime, and break up as soon as you can. I did this long ago, with a fairly innocent looking person that I knew they would approve, so they would chill a bit and leave me to my own bussiness.

You can look at the situation like crossing a river. You do need to cross the bridge to get to the other side, so keep walking and don't look down or back... Keep walking and look at the end of the bridge.

Also make sure they won't catch you posting here. You do need all the support you can get.

You are okay, it's them who are making the wrong choice here- They can chose between love or hate, and they have chosen hate. You are okay, brother (*hug*)

 

The most contentious verses from Leviticus appear in (18:22) and (20:13) and they form part of the Holiness Code, a ritual for Israel's priests, that attempted to separate the ancient people of Israel from their Mediterranean neighbours.

In Mediterranean society, male/male anal sex was often used as a way of dominating and subjugating weaker men who had been conquered and the Holiness Code (Leviticus Chapters 17-26) includes the two passages that make reference to such actions, with the word "abomination".

Let's be clear, Leviticus is not making reference to homosexual relationships as we understand them today - relationships based on acceptance, consent, love and fidelity, but to the perverted and degrading sexual practices of Israel's Mediterranean neighbours, which included sexual slavery and rape. Leviticus attempts to set a code for more moral behaviour within the tribes and communities of Israel.

The word abomination is thrown around with great invective, but it's being used well out of historical context to shame members of the LGBT community today. It's very unfair and totally wrong. In the Holiness Code the word abomination refers to those practices that are unclean, disloyal or unjust. A deeper reading of Chapters 17-26 will clearly demonstrate this.

As you rightly point out, Christ himself (the Word made flesh) stands as the ultimate revelation of God, and as followers of Christ we are not bound by the ancient rituals and rules of the Old Testament, which includes the Holiness Code from Leviticus. (See Galatians 3:22-25). It's also interesting to note that Christ reserved his greatest criticism for the Pharisees who only wished to adhere to the letter of the law in complete ignorance of its higher purpose. I see fundamentalists as the modern day Pharisees.

 

If you do eventually devidence to come out, be careful. If there's a chance they might kick you out, however dramatic this sounds, pack a bag just in case. If you still depend on them I wouldn't recommend it though. I feel really sorry for you, I know homophobic parents suck, but you'll get through this! Keep going and do what feels right xx

 

I wouldn't. My mom is religious, so is my grandmother, and I most likely won't tell them until I am stable and on my own, due to fear of extreme situations. It has a 2% chance of happening but I don't normally take risks. Use your own best judgment and it'll be alright. (*hug*)

 

I think your mom idea is right, perhaps telling her and asking her to keep it between you is best. Also, I have to let you in on a little secret, there's no magical being in the sky, and there's no heaven and no hell. That was written as a metaphor. BTW, St. Paul's "visions" were most likely grand mal seizures.