So there's this friend who I see pretty much everyday at school, and she's had a pretty rough past. I'd consider her a friend, but not really someone I'd want to be close friends with. Really I'm only friends with her because she's my best friends friend. But anyway, she's been really starting to piss me off lately because she's been more frequently saying the word faggot as well as calling people and teachers gay in a joking kind of way. But today, I really started to snap when she joked about "becoming a tranny". I kept my mouth shut at the time, but now I think I wish I'd said something. I'm usually quite tolerant of her and other people using terms like that because I don't like being seen as petty and sensitive I guess. Anyway, I know that she wasn't directing it at me or making fun of trans or queer people as far as I could tell. When I came out to her she kind of just ignored it, but never the less she switched to calling me by the right name, but she hasn't used the right pronouns yet. So...I'm not sure if it's harmful for her to go around talking like this, or am I just being too sensitive? What would you guys do? She's definitely not a very close friend, so I wouldn't care too much if she cut me off for confronting her about it, but I also definitely don't want to create a big drama about it and risk losing other friends because of it. I don't really know what to do or think...
She really isn't using kind language and you shouldn't have to tolerate hearing her say such things all the time. She might not be making fun of people, but she's still ignorant enough to not be as kind and accepting as she should be. I would mention it to her; especially if she already knows you're trans, she should be considerate and use your preferred pronouns. Perhaps politely ask her to use your preferred pronouns and kinder language and point out that the things she has been say, while not outright making fun of people, is hurtful. She might not realize that she uses it herself. Sometimes people take things like that for granted and might not always realize that what they say jokingly or casually can hurt people. I don't think you're being too sensitive. It sounds like you already let some of the things she's said pass, but now it's really bothering you. I don't blame you. You shouldn't have to hear these things from her. Another option would be to talk to your closer friends about this first. Maybe they have been too shy or nervous to say anything about it to her and would understand where you're coming from and support you.
Thanks timetraveltea, it really helps to hear someone else's perspective on it. Ok then, I will definitely try to find a way to confront her about it. I have no idea how she'll react, though, cos I've seen her get really bitchy with people before but other times take things considerately. I'll tell some friends, too, so I'll have someone to back me up if it starts going south. I also realise I need to work on not being so passive with stuff like this :bang:
