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can't stop thinking about it

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by pastelwyvern, Jul 24, 2016.

  1. pastelwyvern

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Chicago
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I need to go to sleep but I can't stop thinking about my gender identity. I'm worrying that I might just be a special snowflake or cis girl pretending, thinking about my newly chosen name (Simon) and how different pronouns feel, etc. I've thought over all of this so many times, but I can't get my mind off it. A song is stuck in my head and I feel sick and detached from everyone and myself. I almost wish I'd never questioned my gender in the first place because it's so frustrating and omnipresent now. My thoughts are stuck in a loop and I'm tired. I want to feel comfortable again. There's no one I've told about this and I'm afraid it'll isolate me even more from my friends. I can't even put a name to my gender. Nothing feels right - not cis, trans, gender queer, he, she, they... I just want to stop thinking.
     
  2. AmyBee

    Full Member

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    Well, for what it's worth, Simon is a GREAT name!
     
  3. GoodVibes117

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Some people
    you don't need to feel obligated to label anything, especially not right away. explore pronouns, learn about yourself. i promise eventually you will find what you are looking for. :slight_smile: best of luck to you <3
     
  4. Monsterita

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Bisexual
    Accurately labeling yourself does not make you a special snowflake. Believing that having that label makes you better or more interesting than other people is what makes someone a special snowflake. If the labels fits, use it, and don't feel bad about using it.

    And it's okay if it takes you a long time to figure it out. It takes many people a lot time to figure this stuff out because it's complicated. I've had countless sleepless hours figuring myself out. At some point, though, some combination will probably click for you.

    Having a label won't change who you are, it will just make it easier to explain it to other people. You're not going anywhere, so give yourself time.
     
  5. TobaccoFlower

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    UNT, Denton, TX
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's worth noting, I think, that everyone is unique and that's why the concept of a special snowflake is silly. Of COURSE you are special, and that's not abnormal, haha.

    I love the name. Also, you don't need to stress any of it to anyone else, but talking to people one on one always helped me a LOT. that might be worth it.

    Isolation: the more you bring yourself up the more people will support you. After coming out I lost friends. I do not miss them much. They weren't important and as scary as it was to think about losing them, I am glad they are gone. I still have just as many friends and was never lonely in my transition process. In fact, I feel heaps more comfortable with my new friends and more loved by them than anyone else I ever knew. Being open to the world often attracts people who treasure honesty and don't attack other people.

    I am always open to being messaged or talked to on my wall if you'd like, but gender won't change the world. Being Simon will just make you Simon. Simple. Easy. Not weird or self absorbed. It's just showing people that you expect to be treated like yourself and you don't appreciate their expectations of your perceived gender. Not that you hate them or those expectations, but that you aren't the best target for them.

    Above posts are right. Explore. You're in the phase that is most scary. This WILL pass. Take deeps breaths and accept that you're important. You are valuable because you are alive and special because you're human.
     
  6. NotKnowing

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Germany
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I can relate to this so so much and it has been going on like this for the past 10 months or so.. I hope that both you & I will figure this out soon. Sorry that I can't give any better advice :frowning2: