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Being Misunderstood

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by lastking, Jul 24, 2016.

  1. lastking

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    Just recently I was talking to a guy for a couple of weeks, things were going well. Last night, he just cut me off permanently because he thought I blocked him (because his messages weren't being delivered), when in reality I had to turn off my phone because my battery was dying. I've had similar situations where if I didn't answer someone's text or call the moment they contacted me they would assume I did it on purpose and cut me off.

    I just don't understand why are some people so quick to judge and reject without sufficient evidence. I guess the best thing is to move on.

    Do you guys get rejected for being misunderstood/misinterpreted?
     
  2. Secrets5

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    The other side of this:

    If you are using this statement ''oh, my battery was off'' or ''I didn't have wifi to send a message'' repetitively when I try to text you, but you've had no problem texting other people, then I will assume you're just using the whole ''you're just misunderstanding me'' to try and get me to stay friends with you [/in high school they thought I'd get upset if I knew they didn't want to be friends with me so they'd lie to me - So when I found this out I stopped being friends with them].
     
    #2 Secrets5, Jul 24, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2016
  3. lastking

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    I don't make excuses "repetitively". I turned off my phone at midnight. I just think it was a coincidence that the two times he tried to contact me that day, I was genuinely busy.

    If I was making an excuse every single day to not answer someone's text "Oh I'm busy, etc." that's a different story. That's obviously a red flag. However, if only one day I was genuinely busy to answer someone's text, I don't think it's fair to be judged on that one day.
     
  4. RGEm

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    Sounds like he's overreacting a bit tbh. Maybe he might cool down after a while and talk to you later?
     
  5. lastking

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    He was overreacting because he told me he was having a rough day because of personal issues. However, he made a very clear in his final text that he never wants to never hear from me again and that he would be blocking me.
     
  6. HuskyLover

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    Maybe he wanted to cut you off even before that, but didn't really have any valid reason to do so? Otherwise, he's obviously overreacting quite a lot and it would probably be best for you to stay away from such a guy anyway, they're not fun to deal with. :slight_smile:
     
  7. faustian1

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    Yes, and I think I also do this to other people.

    Please let me try to explain why. I am not certain where you are meeting people like the guy you wrote about, but in my case I have had plenty of experience trying to get a little closer (call this, "trying to make friends") with another person which has resulted in the instant shutoff of responses to my messages.

    I'm sure, if you think about it, you'll have had at least one experience where somebody thought your were "trying too hard" or were "too desperate" and cut you off. These days, either of these two quoted phrases can be triggered by just sharing something simple about yourself. The word "friend" has been co-opted by Mark Zuckerberg (facebook) to actually mean "audience."

    So let's suppose you were completely innocent here, and just taking a reasonable amount of time to respond. It's pretty obvious that your correspondent is hyper-sensitive to rejection, and probably for the reasons I have written. Most likely it frustrated him, and then he reacted to that frustration by being angry and deciding to block you. If you think of this from his (and my) perspective, it is virtually impossible for most of us to determine the difference, between "my battery was dead" and "get lost!" So in other words, people who can't just say they are not interested, and say instead that their battery is dead, or they've been busy this week have fucked it up for the rest of us, who wanted to take such "reasons" at face value.

    And speaking of Mark Zuckerberg, he has all kinds of bullshit dances programmed into his platform for people to "block" others without them really knowing it, but of course it's possible to figure it out if you're savvy about how the platform works. In other words, the entire platform is based on a passive-aggressive farce. Since a couple of hundred million people in the United States use his platform today, that type of abjectly rude crap now has become the acceptable social custom.

    I sympathize with your frustration, but it is clear that we are outclassed and outnumbered.
     
    #7 faustian1, Jul 24, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2016
  8. lastking

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    I didn't think of it that way... You actually a make a good point. Maybe he was slowly starting to lose interest and this way a good way to cut me off. Of course, it's best to stay away. It's a two-way street and if one side is no longer interested, I can't force them to be.

    ---------- Post added 24th Jul 2016 at 01:58 PM ----------

    Interesting story about Mark Zuckerberg.

    The guy was hypersensitive because I did see some patterns before he cut me off. For example, if he texted me a joke and I didn't respond within five minutes, he would text me right after "I was just joking, don't take it seriously".

    I agree with you, it's difficult to tell the difference between "my battery was dead" and "get lost!". I'm sure if someone told me that, I would also have some doubt myself. However, I also look at consistent patterns before I jump to conclusions.

    This is why I'm not a fan of texting, it's very easy to misinterpret and jump to conclusions because it lacks emotions.
     
  9. malachite

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    They sound really insane, and needy.
    I've actually broken things off because guys have been too clingy.