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Feeling suicidal, uk

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Curious39, Jul 23, 2016.

  1. Curious39

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    So I am just sat here. I am 19 and feeling like I want to die because literally I ahve nothing to live for, nothing to hold onto, literally nothing.

    I want my mum back, shes gone. my dad doesnt truly lovely, i have no friends. what is there to live for?

    Im a freak like everyone has always said. I am ready to take all these pills 22 Day & Night Nurse pills next next to me.

    Being trans, pan demi it has all just got to me. I hate who I am, Im not even in my real bidy and people dont accept. God im emotional. Please someone talk to me anyone
     
  2. Ram90

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    (*hug*) (*hug*)

    Everything will be alright. You know why I said that? Because it will. Life is too short to live in either denial or pain or anger or sorrow. So why do you want to make it shorter?

    Don't do that. Things will get better. Your circumstance is painful I won't deny it but never ever think that ending yourself is the answer. It isn't. Please don't take any drastic step. You have all of us here to talk to. We'll listen. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Curious39

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    I'm so afraid. I just want my mum to say 'You are my daughter hope and I couldn't be more proud' but she will never know or say that.

    I can't describe how scared I am and its killing me. I don't want to do it but I feel like
    there's no other option. I literally cant keep my eyes off the pills. My head is racing.

    I ahve gotten close to suicide before, I nearly jumped off a bridge then once off a ledge into water. I am scared and I have no one to stop me

    I am such a mess
     
  4. tastethedragon

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    By posting here, you've shown us that you don't want to die. You will feel no relief if you are dead. We care about you and love you.
     
  5. thrashgal

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    im sorry, i feel very similar...im trying not to relapse actually...i too feel i have nuthing to live for..nuthing...but i guess ill give tomorrow a try...just gotta make it thru tonight, can u do that with me?
     
  6. Curious39

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    i will
     
  7. thrashgal

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    (*hug*) thank u
     
  8. Invidia

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    There are brighter days ahead, honey. Not every day can be a good day and we have to get through the bad ones to get to the good ones. Up the road you can have more good ones and less bad ones. Hang in there.
    *hug*
     
  9. shootingstar

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    Believe me when I say that things will get better darling. You are only 19 and have your whole life ahead of you. Please don't waste a second worrying about what others think of you. It's your life to live and no one else's.

    Take a deep breath and smile. You are perfect the way you are. Please please realise that. You have been blessed with the precious gift of life. Yes, sometimes life can feel like everything and everyone has conspired against you BUT in the end these times will only accentuate all the beautiful moments you will experience in the future.

    We're all here for you. Hang in there. Sending hugs from Australia.
     
  10. Alexrocks1253

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    It'll get better. In my "I'll never get a partner" post, I cared. People care about you. I care about you. It would break my heart to see you go. You deserve to live. You have a purpose on earth. Please don't kill your self. Here. (*hug*)
     
  11. questions4ever

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    You can make it! If I did you can too. Just make it through the next day. Check into a emergency room if you need to. Find some professional help. Trust me it helps!
     
  12. TheChainedPegasus

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    That's true, all your problems can't disappear by magic.

    But here, we're better than magic, EC will do everything to cheer you up.
     
  13. Curious39

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    Having a rough night again today. Worried about myself tbh
     
  14. questions4ever

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    Be strong I promise you can make it through. Find a distraction make it through tonight for me please??
     
  15. Curious39

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    I can try, thats all I can promise
     
  16. Herbert

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    Well, speaking long term, you (and everybody else) do have something to live for; Brain Uploading. Current estimates place the first time that we'll be capable of uploading a human brain to a computer at about 2065, and it should be 2070 something when it becomes affordable to the average person. If you can live that long, you'll essentially get to live in a virtual paradise of hedonism, learning, and satisfaction.
     
  17. PatrickUK

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    It's good that you created this thread and spoke honestly about your feelings. When your mood darkens and thoughts of ending it all arise, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and say that you are not okay... and it's okay to say you are not okay too. It's also good that you are still here and that you managed to get through another day. Sometimes, when we are feeling very low and depressed it's best to take things one day at a time, instead of pressuring ourselves to think too much or too far ahead.

    Talking is important, because it releases the pressure valve just a little bit and now that you have created this thread I hope you will talk some more. Talking about our thoughts and feelings need not be a verbal process and sometimes it's easier to articulate things in writing.

    You say that your mum is gone and you want her back, and in those few words you managed to convey a lot about the pain you are going through. A good mum is the world and when they are no longer around it leaves a big hole, doesn't it? What can you tell us about your mum? What was she like? What did she mean to you? What would she say to you if she were here now?

    Nobody is calling you a freak here, so it's not quite everyone. Who is everyone anyway?

    I notice you are in the UK, like me, and I just wonder if you have reached out to anybody for help, support or guidance? It sounds like you have the feelings associated with your gender and sexuality, issues with loss (on different levels) and the suicidal thoughts too. That really is a lot to deal with alone!

    Your GP would be the first port of call, I would suggest, but I also wonder if you would consider talking to Samaritans in confidence. You can call them free of charge, but if the written word suits you more, you can e-mail, text or even send a letter + visit a local branch at certain times. Here is a link to their website: Samaritans | Samaritans

    You may also wish to look at GIRES (see link here)Home for support with gender issues.

    I am here if you wish to talk. Just send me a private message and I will get back to you asap.

    Don't bottle things up - we do care.
     
  18. jaska

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    Hey curious. I have been in the suicide boat many many times for nearly half my life. Im still in it, and it's barely staying afloat these days. I would lie hunched on the bathroom floor moaning into a towel sometimes because I was so terrified and lost and wanted to just finally die so badly. But I always tell myself something that is so easy to forget when you're in that frame of mind when everything is crumbling around you: if you kill yourself, that is it. You are dead. You are not asleep, you will never wake up again. There's nothing to do, feel or think when you are dead. You are just gone. And behind you, everyone who knew you will be scarred by it. You will hurt them too if you leave.
    But if you stay and keep holding on, you have something more precious than anything. You have opportunity. Opportunity to look after yourself and make yourself better. Opportunity to find the small joys in the world again, the things that you truly just love, that you can hold tight to your heart and hold on to and give you hope. Don't worry about your future, just please, you have a tomorrow. It is yours to do whatever you want with. You just need to take one tiny baby step back to the light, and that will give you enough strength that you can hold on to. Think really hard of what things you ever loved to do or see in your life. Music??a book? Favourite food? Swimming? Animals? Make a list, or a list in your head, of things you love or things to make you feel a little bit better. Then take one of those, and put all your heart into it and you will begin to feel the glow of life coming back to you. Chuck those pills as far away as you can, ok? get a drink of water, put on your most comfy and favourite clothes. Brush your teeth, floss, do what you can. Take a walk, cuddle a cat, make some really wonderful food. find something, anything, that you can find a little joy in. But if you can't, it's OK. Because if you stay, then you will always have another tomorrow, another opportunity to find that small piece of light. And if you keep hanging on, that ball of light is gonna grow brighter and brighter until you'll be able to see the life in the world again. And you WILL find it, as long as you hang on. Keep fighting. Keep dreaming. (*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 25th Jul 2016 at 10:56 PM ----------

    you are not alone sister, we are all here by your side (&&&)
     
  19. Alexrocks1253

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    You can do it. You can make it through. Don't kill yourself.
     
  20. Celatus

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    I feel that desperation at times, when my medical problems consume my life and make me humiliated and paranoid. The only thing that gets me through it is the hope I can one day go back to whatever normalcy felt like. And the fact that psych wards are goddamn awful places (inhumane and utterly ineffective, believe me I've had experience). So even if I'm home, alone, feeling like I don't have a future, there are some things worth living for. The very best thing you can do for yourself is to find something distracting to take your mind off the harsh reality of life. Hold on to what you can, and try not to overwhelm yourself with the uncertainty of the future.