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Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by BethanyHome, Jul 23, 2016.

  1. BethanyHome

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    Hi everyone. I joined up because I've needed some help. I have felt so lonely over the last few months. So I was searching one of my blogs, and ended up here. Just by looking at the first page of intros, I feel a little better just knowing there ARE other people out there.

    I will admit that I don't know what to post beyond that. And I'm not sure what I can post without becoming a geyser.

    I'm just kinda numb right now. I had a friend who was a good source of support. Long story short; we're no longer friends, and I'm left wondering what happened.

    So, in the end, I'd like to be part of a community that is supportive (within reason), lets me be who I need to be, and give me the opportunity to be supportive as well.
     
  2. Emmie Love

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    Welcome BethanyHome! I am pretty new here as well—Been trying to post more lately :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:. This does seem like a great community to connect with like minded people and get support.

    Post whatever comes to mind—people don't mind here. Sometimes that the best approach—get it out on the table so that people can help you work through whatever is on your mind!

    What kind of support are you looking for?
     
  3. BethanyHome

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    Well, I don't know exactly. The aforementioned friend was a great source of help (hair styling advice/dressing/makeup/etc.

    Over the winter, I had a hat trick of disasters. I slipped on some ice and ended up in a leg cast, I found out how easy quesadillas were to make, and I told her that I wanted to let my boy clothes age and retire without replacing them. I don't know which one was worse for me; the physical restrictions, the weight gain (I was working so hard on my figure), or her reaction.

    In the end, the cast came off. I've tried to do workouts and found a DVD that I "like." The flab will come back off eventually. I have a set of clothes that I have hung up on the wall to motivate me. I'm trying to keep my eye on the prize...

    Well, I guess I do know which one of the three was/is worse... Her reaction. We would go shopping together, she taught me how to walk in heels (and surprised me with my first pair), and took me to go get my ears pierced. I had the confidence to go out dressed as I pleased, and started venturing out on my own. And then I told her. She called me a freak. Then it all came crashing down, and I ended up getting stuck somewhere in the middle and confused about myself and feeling so alone. It's like she only wanted to make me her personal dress up doll, and I felt used and thrown away.

    How could I change the last 4 years of that kind of friendship? Could I go back to being "normal" and not a "freak?" Why do I feel so guilty and why do I hate myself so much? Why did I throw out almost all of my makeup? I kept finding the random bottle of polish and crying and throwing it out. After a while, I realized that the only way I was going to break the cycle of depression and numbness was to get off my :***: and stop surviving to the end of the day, week, month was to go buy a new set of clothes, get a work out routine, and lose the baggage.

    I'm sorry for the word vomit, but apparently I needed to unload...
     
  4. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

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    Welcome to the forums. x
     
  5. BethanyHome

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    Thank you Emmie and Invidia.

    As an aside, what is protocol for answering posts on this forum? Just wondering if I need to use the @ or not...
     
  6. Emmie Love

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    Hey BethanyHome,

    No, people don't really use @ here, the platform doesn't support linking with them. I wish it did.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts! You should be proud of yourself for being comfortable sharing with you friend, and I am sorry that it didn't work out well. I myself have shared with very few people—I'm not gutsy enough to take the risk.
     
  7. Emmie Love

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    Hey BethanyHome,

    No, people don't really use @ here, the platform doesn't support linking with them. I wish it did.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts! You should be proud of yourself for being comfortable sharing with you friend, and I am sorry that it didn't work out well. I myself have shared with very few people—I'm not gutsy enough to take the risk.
     
  8. GoodVibes117

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    Welcome to EC ! :slight_smile:
     
  9. mariairimia

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    so I came here because I realised I was lesban when I was about five and well it just stuck and here I am 7 years later with such a crush I would die without the girl. I need to get help coming out and I think this girl is also gay as for how she acts and that all the signs point to it. :kiss:
     
  10. Problematic

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    Im new here aswell cuz of gender identity and all that good stuff ehh im really new to forems so yuh dont really know what to post but hi
     
  11. alexandr

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    Welcome to the forum! :slight_smile:
     
  12. BethanyHome

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    Thank you to all of you for the greetings! I appreciate it very much, and have been trying my hardest to deal with the dysphoria that I have been living in.
     
  13. SmallSeaCat

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