I believe I can love anyone and have romantic feelings for someone easily but I struggle with sex and sexual attraction. It takes me a while to be attracted to someone, I have like a need for trust to be established and to love them a lot first without doubt. I thought I was gay but I feel I could love anyone, regardless of gender identity... Added to this: I think I might be a Panromantic Demisexual because when I was 16 I was in a relationship with a girl who I loved so much but wasn't sexually attracted too and that killed the relationship :tears: but now we are still friends and yes, I can say I am attracted to her now. Me and her are so so close and have this really deep connection but unfortunately she loves someone else. :tears: I am 19 now and the sexual attraction has only been recently. Though I have romantic feelings for a few friends, I don't have sexual feelings for them but I wouldn't rule it out in the future possibly. Does that sound like Panromantic Demisexual? Also, does this make sense with me being trans mtf? I hate my body. Am I a freak or weird? I just feel like so ashamed of my body and myself in general because of this and my gender
It might be that demisexual fits you very well now, but maybe it won't fit you as well later if you transition and become more comfortable with your body, I don't know? Do you think that's a possible factor?
You sound like me a lot. Though I'm actually both demiromantic and demisexual but also only attracted to women (homoromantic + homosexual). I just identify as a lesbian to make it simple, but a lot of people don't understand how attraction works for me. I can't really go on dates with people since it can take months or years of friendship for me to feel spark or attraction (romantic OR sexual). If you feel the romantic spark quickly, but not sexual, then demisexual only makes sense. Especially since you said you didn't feel sexual attraction until later. Hang in there friend. Being demi of any kind sucks serious ass since it makes relationships that much harder. Being trans could also make it a factor, but since you felt the sexual attraction over time, it also may not be.
The sexual attraction is practically never there, like I can enjoy having sex but I'm never really attracted to the person, I just enjoy the act. I am yet to have a sexual experience with a woman/any gender other than male. The romantic spark can happen pretty much instantly after talking to someone, regardless of gender identity. Just so confusing and panromantic demisexual just seemed to fit because I haven't really had that sexual attraction yet but can enjoy the feeling of sex. Maybe asexual? I'm so confused
Well, you can have sex and still be demisexual. It's the lack of attraction that makes it so. I've never had sex, but I've been in relationships and dated people I didn't know that well, or knew for maybe a month. I had no attraction or spark to them, but I did it to convince myself I was normal. That's how I knew I was demiromantic.
If you're looking for factual information based on the current thinking of professionals in the field who work with and study these populations, (a) there's no evidence to support the idea that there's a separation between romantic and sexual orientations; and (b) the "demisexual" identity actually fits entirely within the spectrum of normal human sexual drive, behavior, and interaction. Sexual drive can, however, be affected by a variety of factors (hormones, various psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, or aggression, various other family-of-origin issues) and so that can make it appear that someone has a diminished sexual attraction that is hardwired when, in fact, it is a biochemical or learned behavior. So, given all of this, at least according to those who work in this field and know the most about it, another label that might fit is simply pansexual. But labels are more for the individual than for anyone else, so if you are more comfortable using an unrecognized label, there's no reason not to.
