can a lesbian find mr right?

Exactly like I feel, but gender swapped (obviously!). Answer is, I think VERY unlikely. My personal thought is that it could technically happen, but it would be so nigh-on impossible. For instance, I don't find women remotely attractive, both physically and in terms of general personality types and tropes. However if it happened, I suppose it would make me happy...I guess. Either way, I certainly don't want it to happen either, so I think that says it all: If you really do not like the idea of it, then it isn't truly what you want and so therefore won't happen.

 

Listen, your sexuality is your own. You may someday find a relationship that you find fulfilling and enjoyabe with a person who happens to be a man, but I wouldn't suggest spending a lot of time looking for a maybe. Go and chase the people that you find romantically and sexually appealing, and if you meet some dude you like, go with it. If you're very bothered by the possibility that there may be a male that you like, then you don't have to pin yourself down as a lesbian. Remember that labels are for everybody else, not for you. I personally think that sexuality changes and developes as we change and develop as people,which is absolutely fine. Don't let anybody make you question yourself. You like women? No big deal. You find a guy you like? Also no big deal.

 

There is no guy that is going to swoop into your life and suddenly make you straight. This idea comes from the old sexist attitude of "she just needs to be with a real man."

You are a lesbian who sometimes questions your sexual identity. Nothing wrong with that and not worth trying yourself into knots over. I am of the belief that the people who identify as gay and lesbian can, on rare occasions, find someone of the opposite sex that does it for them so having an open mind is a good policy.

 

Can a straight man find Mr. Right? And even if he did, why would he want to if he was straight?

The same applies here.

 

No. He'd probably end up being your friend.

 

i have considered this idea and my take on it is that its all fantasy if you really are lesbian...like say that you do meet mr. right and you blow up the idea of him in your head like u might a female but then u get with him and realize that it was not what u thought it was going to be, probly cuz u wont be able to connect on an emotional level like u can with other girls and ull get board and tierd of it real quick then think "wtf was i thinking.." thats the conclusion i come to anyways..guys are guys regardless, i dont think theres a magic one out there that will sumhow be different then all the other guys...

 

I'm having the same problem.

 

First, if you are a lesbian, this is very unlikely to happen. That is, you've clearly identified as a lesbian for a reason, and it's probably, very unlikely that some random man will come long and change that.

Second, Mr Right, or whatever you know him as, doesn't exist. The idea that there is a person waiting somewhere out there for you, is not only really selfish, but also statistically unlikely. You're more likely to be happy just making it work with a girl than searching for some faceless guy.

If you do happen to fall in love with a guy, I guess you'll just have to reevaluate your identity.

 

I'm a gay guy and I had a similar question only till I realised that the question holds good for most homosexual people. Just that some people are more confident and hence don't think about it. Every homosexual can't be a 100% sure that there is going to be no such Mr/s. Right. All we can be Sure of is that from the trend up until now, we are homosexual. We should just keep an open mind to try a relationship If Mr/s Right turns up one day. Nothing more than that. Coz the question is going to remain, no body can be 100% sure. So you chill and enjoy your homosexuality

 

It's possible to love a man if you're a lesbian. Similarly, it's possible to love a woman if you're a straight woman, a man if you're a straight man, and a woman if you're a gay guy. The thing is, there's no "mr.right" who's gonna suddenly make you attracted to guys. Nobody can just change your orientation like that and people who do say that don't really know what they're talking about. Basically, if somebody tells you that you haven't met the right guy, tell them that they haven't met the right guy/girl and ask them if that makes sense.

 

Hm....don't know if I agree. Why is it just for homosexual people. I could also say "Every heterosexual can't be 100% sure that there is going to be no such mr/s. right (of the same sex. They should be open to a relationship with the same sex in case that happens."

I think It's ok to have dealbreakers. I wouldn't date someone who had kids, had an extremely high sex drive or was a religious fundamentalist. I could therefore "keep an open mind and date one anyway", but it wouldn't end in happiness. Gender is the same.

 

I thought the same way until I kissed my trigger crush, and nope. Sapphic.

 

I agree with this. The only reason straight people don't have this issue is that exactly everyone keeps reaffirming to them that it will never happen, all the movies, books etc are about how straight straight people are.

I have noticed this is a problem for gay women in particular (questioning their label forever) probably because the only way we are ever portrayed is how we inevitably end up with a man, and almost expects that from us. I feel like that probably has something to do with it.

 

Well, what do you mean "What if they're right?" Putting words to your sexual orientation is not a test or a competition with the final right answer hidden away somewhere and you have to guess what it is and if you happen to get it wrong, you're somehow stupid.

You may find that an existing label fits you or you may find that none do. You may surprise yourself. You may not.

What is 100% certain is this: This is YOUR journey, YOUR body, YOUR sexuality. Parents, siblings, and other family members have no business imposing their image of you upon you just because they have a set of expectations that you may or may not conform to. You are under no obligation to cater to them.

They are sure as hell not more qualified to define and express your sexual orientation or identity.

What if you did by some miracle chance upon a man whom you happened to be attracted to and he felt the same and you lived happily ever after? That would be just as great as you finding a woman to fall in love with, and if your mom and sister in that case would be so small and petty as to say "I told you so," you get to punch them. Seriously.

YOU are the only authority on YOU in this entire universe, so fuck their expectations.

 

Your post reminds me of Piper Kerman, author of the book "Orange is the new black". She first came out as lesbian, was involved in same-sex relationship(s) and then met Larry whom she fell in love with and married. I wondered how that was possible, given that she "was" a lesbian (or bisexual?). But that is how it happened in real life for her. So, I suppose the scenario you described is possible. Sexuality and human emotions are fluid after all.

 

Ofcourse it is applicable to heterosexuals too!! But The difference being that they don't have to question in the first place as being heterosexual is easier in this society and being heterosexual is considered a default setting and other forms of sexuality normal variants. So why will the main stream heterosexual even think about this?
The very reason why we homosexuals doubt it so much is the because this thought is the last straw of hope to affirm to social norm and not be an outcast. This is probably further complicated by the passive nature of female sexuality making it all the more confusing for lesbians
Interestingly , there is this new movement in West Europe where people when asked about their sexuality often reply saying straight/gay and open, in the sense that they don't mind changing their label if something new comes along.

 

Ok I understand what you mean now. That gay people question because It's not normal or accepted for them. I've felt that way about other things sometimes too. I'm autistic and sometimes wonder about being cured. I'm female and sometimes wonder about being a man to escape sexism and oppression. But, I finally got to the point that I've accepted who I am.

In many ways, I prefer being a lesbian. I wouldn't ever want to open up to a man. Think of it this way: Straight relationships sometimes involve sexism and power imbalances, but I don't face them with women. If I was bisexual, men might force me to have a threesome and think "lesbian sex doesn't count as real sex" but I don't deal with this with women. A lot of men impose dumb beauty standard on women, they want me to shave my legs when they won't, they want me to look thin while they stay fat, they want me to wear makeup, while they keep their faces ugly and distorted. I don't deal with this with women (and if I do, they follow the same beauty regiments so it's not a double standard). Men force me to be feminine (I'm butch/tomboy), but most women let me be myself. A man could get me pregnant when I'm not ready to have a child, but with a woman we can use adoption/sperm treatment when we are ready. Women can't orgasm by being penetrated by a penis, but women almost always orgasm being eaten out and fingered.

The list goes on and on.

So being gay is a win/win for me with too many pros. We might be discriminated against more, but I simply find it better to be with someone who understands you. Straight relationships are limited and they sound like they suck. I'd be unhappy in one.

My intention is not to make this post sound heterophobic or misandrist (Honesty, I could give you a whole list on why being a gay guy is better and why straight women do stupid fake shit imposed on men too) but to try to show the pros of being strictly homosexual. Lets stay proud of who we are and not 'hope' the opposite sex comes along. That's what I want the OP to do too.

 

Agreed :0

 

I agree as well, every last word. I simply have nothing to add that isn't said already. :eusa_clap