I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post this and if it sounds transphobic. A close friend of mine came out as trans a few months ago at school and told me a couple months prior to that. I was shocked when she told me this because she had always been very proudly make up until this. My dad speculates that she is just trying to push herself away from people because she stands out a lot at school. She has a growth hormone deficiency and is almost 16 and hasn't started puberty. My dad believes that she is trying to make herself fit in by sticking out a lot. My friend doesnt fit in with the boys at school and hasn't for a long time because she still looks like a little kid. Sometimes I think my dad may be right just thinking about how my friend used to say that she was a very proud feminist even if she was male and used to talk about being a top when having sex with guys and this all changed very suddenly. I was just wondering if it is possible to say you are trans just because you may feel very uncomfortable with your body since I myself have been having this issue come up in my own attempt to figure out my gender.
No one on here can really tell you if your friend is or isn't trans. The best thing to do is probably talk to them about it and be there for them. If they are, they'll need your support, and if they aren't and it's another issue, they'll need it all the same. Talk it through with them, try to understand how they're feeling.
Hi @nightowl88, It sounds like your friend is going through a questioning or exploring phase in her life and she could be gradually trying to identify with all the labels and identities around her to make sense of her self identity. I would say that we truly have little say of other's choices in life. We can only make choices for ourselves. And you can choose to not be unnecessarily bothered or concern over it as people make choices in life that they want to make and people will eventually be who they are. You can also choose to still be her friend (if that is what you want) and drop all the names, labels and identities. Just drop all these and can you see that beneath all that labels, she is simply just as human as the next person. Try to see that she, as much as anyone in this world, share the same emotions and feelings as you and is merely seeking for her own answer, comfort and happiness, in her own way as you would want to seek happiness your own way. This may or may not be a phase in her life but allow her the time and space to decide. You can still be her friend and at the same time, not be too bothered by it and move on with your life like you normally would. If it becomes too overwhelming for you thats okay too. You can always talk it out with your friend how things are not working out between the both of you, maturely, and part ways amicably. As people travel through life, sometimes we naturally grow apart from each other for various reasons. I would say its neither right or wrong. Its just part of the growing up process. I hope this helps Ben
