Hey, I haven't been here for a while. Anyway. Today I was cosplaying as Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls for fun, and I got approval from parents and everything, but when my mom came to pick me up, she saw what I was wearing and was very embarrased (I was wearing a skirt) and reminded me how it made everyone including my family uncomfortable if I dressed in feminine clothing outside of my bedroom. So, feeling horrible about myself as I came home, I cried and then noticed I had a pair of scissors. I...used them. I feel horrible. I'm still an embarrassment, but cutting felt good. And I'm usually not depressed, I just hate my body and I hate having to not be normal and cis and straight and happy and simple like everyone else. Please, help me.
Hey SimonSnow. I may not be much help, but I just wanted to tell you that everyone on this site is willing to help and listen to what is going on in your life, especially the staff. You're not alone and I know the feeling, but self-hatred is not the answer. We're here for you buddy (*hug*)
Hey there buddy. I know exactly how you feel. There is just some kind of relief when you cut, but what really helped me in that situation, is to keep in mind that cutting is no solution. It wont help with your problems. When I stopped I tried several alternatives like putting a hairtie around my arm and pulling it back and then releasing it, so tgere would be a little pain, yet no scars. Keep in mind you are strong. You may think you are alone, but you are not. There are so many people that care about you and will offer you help. You can do it
Hi there, I know how being put down like that or reminded you're not a "normal" person can really, really hurt and make one, to put it clearly, feel like absolute crap in a very small amount of time. It's crazy how a mood can drop so swiftly. Anyways, what I tend to do instead of cutting (which I never have done) is write how I feel all over my skin, draw on my skin, or draw red lines on my skin in marker. I'm sorry that this had to happen to you. That sucks, and remember your mom likely just doesn't understand and is still uncomfortable with the idea of you wearing "feminine" clothing out in public or in front of her. Try to respect that but also be true to yourself. I hope that I could be of some help! I believe in you
A similar situation happened for me. Before coming out as MTF, I made a skirt out of a bed sheet, and my dad found it in the dresser and was concerned, but for a different reason. He was irritated because it was a circle skirt, meaning that I had to cut a circle from the sheets. I cut it right in the center, and so it was deemed wasteful of perfectly good fabric. Anyway, I sympathize with you, yet suggest you to stop cutting yourself. It could cause permanent skin damage and increase the risk of developing infections, and though it can be an outlet of stress, it's not worth it. There are other ways to relieve stress and anger. If you are gay, please don't think that your being gay is the only part of you. If the natural development of your gay life is obstructed, then take a stroll on another pathway. For instance, if you are a musician, let out your emotions in your music. It's what I do. Stay strong!
As someone with experience - STOP now. Cutting is addictive the more you do it the harder it is to quit. Don't let this one incident turn in to something more. You are beautiful and worthy the way you are!
