I can't go into details...but someone has hurt me an incredible amount, so much that I shake in anger at the thought of it, and can't stop crying. My eyes hurt and I couldn't work today because of it, they are extremely red, they look like they were bleeding. I feel like exposing him, letting everyone know what he did, but I know that's the anger and sadness talking. It's not enough for me to just remove him from my life, that won't give me closure, it simply won't. I have a need for something that doesn't make me feel worthless...I'm afraid of myself right now...what do I do...?
I don't know for sure how to deal with things like this since I'm not out of the woods yet myself, but I think I can say this: Surround yourself with friends. Don't be afraid to go to the ones you love. If you're not out yet, tell people about your problems in a gender-neutral way; those close to you should trust you enough not to probe, or to take it easy if you do come out to them. Above all, focus on you, and make time to take care of yourself and remain as peaceful, positive, and self-knowing as possible. I wish you the best of luck, dear.
Hi @A Mindful Wolf, I am very sorry to hear you are going through this. Try to feel. Allow yourself to completely feel the pain and emotional burden. Feel yourself breath. Breath in, breath out. Feel the tightness in your chest. Allow yourself to grief about it. Cry about it. Don't hold back. Trying to go against your mind and emotions by holding it back now would only make you feel frustrated and trapped inside and hence the lack of closure. Allow yourself to express completely. I would also try to allow myself to express all this pent-up emotional energy creatively. Go for a jog outside or workout in a gym. Write a letter about all the things you would have wanted to tell completely to this person and later burn it. Once you have calmed down, you can also write to the person and talk about it maturely, lose the contact, not looking back. It is not necessary to read or expect a reply from this person. That will help your mind in giving it some closure. I hope this helps Ben
You're in a similar situation where someone hurt you a lot? My problem is that I am quite alone right now too...I don't have anyone, the building is empty for Summer . I have calmed down a bit though...and I was able to work today, my eyes were a bit puffy, but nobody said anything...thanks for the well-wishes...it means more than I can express...wish I had real life lesbian friends . ---------- Post added 15th Jul 2016 at 05:43 PM ---------- Yes...I really need to cry more I think, or else everything will be unbearable. Thankfully I will be gone from this place soon...maybe distance will help me heal...thanks for your kind thoughts...I think I will write a letter for myself, just to get my feeling on paper...
I'm really sorry you've been hurt so bad. When these things happen to me, what hurts me the most (and makes me cry the most) is the fact that the past can't be un-done. What's done is done. Fortunately, time will heal, it always does, kind of at least. You feel really shitty right now, but I'm sure that within time, you will see it as the past. You will look back at it and be like "Meh, assholes exists." and that'd be it. What I mean by that is, you might be hurt for a long time, but eventually you'll learn to be able to live with it. As suggested already, cry it out. Take some time, a week or so maybe (or more if needed) to just cry it all out. Then when you feel like you can't cry much more, stop it and try not to cry over it again (of course it will happen, but trying is important). I hope things get better for you soon! It's terrible when these things happen... (*hug*)
I have a very similar situation myself right know, maybe not as bad as yours, but it hurts like hell. I feel like I have been tricked for several years that I actually meant something to a really close friend of mine. I just want to yell at her, tell everyone about it and turn her friends against her, but on the other hand I don't. She is still my best friend, even though I'm not that to her. Take some time off and look after yourself. Talk to someone you can trust You can't always forget the past, but it gets better with time and there will be a day, when it doesn't hurt anymore. Just remember, you can do it! (*hug*)
Pain is personally relative, I'm sure your pain is no less than mine. I want to still be friends with this person, but the pain he's caused me...I've cried a lot over the past few months, but this recent thing, it's just too much, I know I'm worth more than this, but it still hurts, ya know?
When I broke up with my boyfriend, I wanted to be friend with him too. But the thing was, he was the reason to why I was feeling really shitty (he caused extreme anxiety and depression for me), so I decided to just suddenly cut all communication with him. I blocked and removed him from everywhere, I never read his messages or anything. I never said good bye. I did it because I knew it would make me feel better - and so it did. It's not the same thing entirely, but what I'm trying to say here is that sometimes you have to choose what's best for you - even if you want something else.
I understand completely how you feel (*hug*) And I know that it's hard to let go, but sometimes it's the only possible way. My friendship was the most important thing to me for 9 years, but now after recent events, I had to give that away. I knew that I am worth so much more than waiting for her to even say hello to me anymore, and so are you. Whatever your friend did to you to hurt you, you didn't deserve it, and you don't deserve to have somebody in your life, who hurts you like that. It's not easy, but it's best for you.
