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Is it normal (in this process) to feel like something is missing?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by caliwoman, Jul 11, 2016.

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  1. caliwoman

    caliwoman Banned

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    I feel as if something is missing. Like something is, I don't wanna say lacking, but that's the only way I can describe it.

    It's weird because my husband and I are doing as well as we can be and it's been good for about a week and a half, so it's not that. I'm surprised he and I are doing that well (it is a yo-yo process; two step forwards, one-to-three steps back depending on the day).

    We've been having good sex, more than usual. He's been talking to me about bisexuality and he gave me his approval to talk to a woman in a more than friendly way. Yet, still, there's a void in me that I just can't put my finger on.

    I'm not thinking about anything in particular, it just seems to be there. I don't think I'm depressed, anxious, or worried about anything, specifically.

    Can anyone relate to this? Is it this process of coming to terms with bisexuality or is it something else? It's not even a mood.

    It's like an ache for something more, without desires about any specifically. I guess that's the best way I can say it.
     
    #1 caliwoman, Jul 11, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2016
  2. kypso

    kypso
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    I can totally empathise!
    There is something missing.
    For me, I think it is the intimacy of being with a woman, not just sex.
    Being with a woman, the touch, the closeness. I want to experience it all.
    It makes me ache to think that in order to to that I would need to break up my marriage.
    I can't bring myself to cause that pain. I would feel so selfish.
    But it aches...
     
    #2 kypso, Jul 11, 2016
  3. caliwoman

    caliwoman Banned

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    Kypso,

    Thank you. I thought I just had the "aches" over a sexual experience, but what I'm feeling soooo isn't that. There isn't a desire at all for sex right now. It's just...there.

    Thank you for sharing your experience, it does help me feel not so alone.
     
    #3 caliwoman, Jul 11, 2016
  4. PlaidGlove

    PlaidGlove
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    Well, I can't give you the answer, but I think it means you're on the right path.

    I'd encourage you to keep asking yourself questions. Keep digging within. You will find what you're looking for if you stay honest with yourself and compassionate towards yourself.
     
    #4 PlaidGlove, Jul 11, 2016
  5. bi2me

    bi2me
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    I feel you! It comes and goes for me, and it's gotten steadily better as I've come to terms with what I want/need. I'm in the process of preparing for a bunch of travel coming up (family/community trip to Israel really soon), a FREE trip to Italy that my husband was awarded (along with a group of people) for having a great year (so free, but with a bunch of people I don't know... EEK), and hopefully a long weekend in October with my bff.

    I'm really glad they are each really different trips, and I'm hoping each will give me part of what I need. Just like I'm pretty sure I can't get 100% from my husband, I'm also not trying to get everything from one vacation/trip this year. I've got the family/group trip ((&&&) with no rest but lots of sight seeing), a (hopefully relaxing) couples trip with plenty of alone time (I hope) and a hotel that advertised free wifi and sound proof rooms :slight_smile:lol:slight_smile:, and a long weekend alone with my best friend, whom I can't wait to hang out with (and cuddle with) :eusa_danc !

    I'm hoping through all of these arrangements, I'll be able to get what I need, and I think it may be a metaphor for my relationship(s), in that I can't get all of what I want/need from one trip, or probably one partner.
     
    #5 bi2me, Jul 11, 2016
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