So, I've been dating a few guys over the last six months or so - mostly two or three dates and things have naturally just ended or we've kind of faded out. I like meeting new guys, and love when there's a something, an attraction. But I kind of know or feel when I meet them whether or not I want to carry on seeing them. Maybe it's a couple more times, for dinner, and it might end up with something more happening. But I can kind of know whether they spark me and make me really want them. I've been working away practically at the other end of the country a lot recently, and met up with this guy I'd been chatting with online, and had spoken to on the phone. I am floored by him. I think he is just so handsome, so measured, he appears to want so many things in life that I do - a stable relationship, a decent guy, and so on. We both are keen to continue meeting and have meets planned for the coming weeks...however.... As I said, he's at one end of the country and I'm potentially going to be at the other unless I secure work in the nearby area (which it's entirely possible to get the chance for a contract extension where I'm working). If we both feel there's something worth exploring here, how do we make it work when there's distance involved? Sorry, I can't write loads more on here as the details would just be too much, but I am keen not to just write this off as a kind of work/holiday romance that can't go anywhere because we live 600km apart. Any suggestions - I would really like to see where this went and, in time I want to move and develop my career elsewhere and live between where my kids are and my career is - so I'd never write off something just because we lived in different cities. I haven't felt like this about a guy for a long time - even my ex bf didn't make me feel like this - and I am trying to keep things real and just act casual and nonchalant.
Glad to see that you are over your ex and back in the saddle. I don't have any tips on long distance relationships. Do you have the sixth sense and just know he's boyfriend material if not more? It sounds like being close to your kids is not a consideration. So why not go for it?
it's ridiculous how people think long distance relationships are doomed. this is not the case. many people have successful long distance relationships. you have to work on it I would imagine, communication would be a major factor. perhaps talk with him about it, ask what kind of things would be important to him?
My husband and I dated in high school and college (a total of about 5 years) long distance, but not very far away (about 100 miles). We were able to see each other a couple of times a month, and we talked on the phone pretty much incessantly. We racked up some pretty high bills (for the times) in our long distance costs! It's totally doable, and in some ways, I think it is why our relationship is as strong as it is, even now. We had to really get to know each other and talk everything out. There was no way to let our attraction physically get in between the words, until we saw each other. Good luck!
Thanks. @SiennaFire - I want to be close to my kids, but work at the moment means I need to be flexible with where I am working. My ex w and I are working a plan that means I have a lot of contact with them while I'm away - FaceTime and calls, stories being read at night, and then at the weekends when I'm back. That will never change until they are much older. Yes, I am over my ex. I see photographs of him and feel a kind of sadness, but I don't miss him particularly as my bf. As a person, possibly, but he's made it clear by the fact he hasn't contacted me in almost 6 months, that he doesn't want to maintain anything so I have moved on from it. The distance between this guy and me is a few hundred miles when we are both back at our homes. Realistically we'd need to make an effort to travel a couple of times a month if I didn't get a kind of relocation down nearer where he was. That apart, I am getting itchy feet and want to experience somewhere different so if it's not something that is a go-er (which I hope it is), then I think I'd be looking at re-locating and commuting. He has talked openly about wanting to find a guy that he 'fits with'. He made it very clear he was looking for dates and someone to eventually settle with when we talked. It was very relaxed when we met, had dinner, and talked. I stayed over with him and we became very physical but stopped short. I didn't want (although I did) it to go too far on the first date... He was keen to meet again, as was I, and we have more dates planned. He talked about 'future' when we were out. He's totally comfortable with himself, and I look at him and his smile and eyes just shine out at me. Who knows - he's the first guy I've dated that has made me feel like there's a fire inside again, and I want to see where it goes. It's just the practicality of it all!
From what you've written, it sounds like you need to have a go at this or you'll wonder what could have happened for the rest of your life. I don't have any relevant experience to offer, other than you'll be spending a lot of money on airfare and at some point if things get serious one of you will need to move. That was my experience with a LDR. PM me for details
