My wife broke the ice as far as me coming out to my family! And yes, this is a good thing, I'm very happy. Brief background... I am bi, married, monogamous, happy. In the process of coming out, to be the real me, to be out of the closet, to be happy, to be part of the LGBT world. I've been out to my bandmates and local friends for almost two months now, but not to family until now. My wife and kids are visiting family out of state. I couldn't make the trip due to work. Tonight, my wife told me over the phone that she and my sister were talking, and she told my sister I'm coming out as bi. My sister was supportive, but wondered "why?" (it's a common theme when you are bi and married and coming out despite no change in relationship). They had a good talk, so that's that. I still have other family to fill in, but it has begun. Which is awesome. I've mentioned before how my wife is very supportive. I know we all have different situations, so I thought I'd offer that as my experience. One interaction with my wife that surprised me recently.... I have been wearing a Bi Pride silicone wristband. I think I've mentioned here how I've been wearing it for a while, and nobody ever comments. The colors are blue/pink/purple. Well, I ordered a Rainbow Pride wristband, too. Figured that would be more obvious. But... my wife didn't like that one. She said, "but you're not gay, you're bi." I replied that it was the universal symbol for all LGBT. She said, "but I want people to know you are bi, not gay - bi and monogamous, remember?" So... the Rainbow wristband goes back in the drawer... LOL. Just a couple of notes. I probably don't post new threads here as often as I should, and I thought this might be of interest to some others.
My sister called tonight. We had a good long talk, like we haven't had in years. We talked about my coming out, and she was very supportive. It's a nice feeling. I still have a few family members to come out to, and my work, and then I am 100% out. I think I hit the halfway point tonight. (!)
Great to hear I know what you mean - married and bi here. I know nothing really changes but feels good to tell people, like it is not a secret/lie anymore
I'd have been miffed for some period of time or another that she took matters into her own hands, but it's great that your sister was cool with it.
Thats great Adray, you are making so much progress! Did it bother you that your wife told your sister on your behalf or were you happy with that? Sounds like her reaction was very positive in any case. Did you mind that your wife wasn't comfortable with the rainbow bracelet? I also bought myself both a rainbow and bi bracelet but I actually prefer the rainbow one. I'm not sure how noticeable it actually is, although I've worn it a few times. My husband knows about it but never really commented on it so not sure how he feels about it.
I'm very happy my wife told my sister. Although it feels a little like I cheated and got an easy pass on that one... LOL. I want to be out, and I appreciate the support, so it's all good. I don't want it to be a secret any more, it's just me, nothing to be ashamed of... it's just the "how" and "when" for each person I come out to in life. It's all good, really. I'm a little disappointed that my wife didn't like the rainbow bracelet, but I'm trying to see things from her point. I like both bracelets. The bi one means more to me, because I identify 100% as bisexual. But nobody but fellow LGBT people (and maybe even not a majority of them) knows what the bi colors one means. Some folks probably assume it's for some cancer cause or other. But everybody, with very few exceptions, understands the rainbow colors. Still, I respect her point of view and appreciate the support she gives, so I'll put the rainbow away, at least for a while. Thanks for the responses, everybody.
Hey Adray Looks like you are making a ton of progress on coming out. My wife doesn't know what a bi-bracelet is (I admit I didn't either). But, she is O.K. with me wearing a rainbow bracelet and a pride shirt (she wears hers too). I can be out to anyone I feel like except her family and they all know I have gay siblings that I have advocated and supported for years...so the bracelet goes unnoticed. She just doesn't want the scrutiny from them. She did almost out me to my brother...I think he understood...but nothing was said. It is funny how different this is for everyone! I call myself "gay" to my wife because she thinks bi sounds weird. She asked me once if she was my "bi-side". So, I have stopped using that term!
