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Buying straight best friend gifts

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by HappyGirlLucky, Jul 6, 2016.

  1. HappyGirlLucky

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    My best friend's birthday is coming up and I am shopping for gifts. She is really into dinosaurs so I was going to buy her this mug I know she would find super cute:

    [​IMG]

    Except I am worried she will take it the wrong way. In fact, I am constantly worrying that I am giving her the wrong idea about my gestures, and part of the reason for that is that I do have some feelings for her and I really don't want her to know that. She is straight, in a long-term relationship and we would be incompatible even if she were gay and single, so I have no intention of ever telling her. They will hopefully go away when I find someone else to crush on.

    So now I don't know what I should do. Maybe I should just go with some other cute dinosaur motif that is less risky. This whole shopping for gifts while gay thing turned out to be more difficult than I thought, I wouldn't even have given this a second thought before I was out. :eusa_doh:

    This is a pretty complicated situation because we don't really say "I love you" to friends in Finland, but at least she does know it can have just a friendly meaning in English. We do send each other hearts and hugs on Skype all the time and hug a lot in real life. Anyway, I am probably overthinking this so... What do you guys think? Is this a bad idea?
     
    #1 HappyGirlLucky, Jul 6, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2016
  2. glenriver

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    Nah, I think it's perfectly fine. That's a pretty cute mug you've got there. Plus, you said that you do send each other hearts and hug a lot, so I think that it'll be fine. That's my input. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Shorthaul

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    I'm not a big coffee drinker or a huge dinosaur fan and I would love this mug.

    I can't imagine it is terribly expensive, maybe toss in a small bag of a fancy coffee or tea she likes. Or some other little cute dinosaur thing. Your first thought was "she would find this super cute" I think you might be over thinking it.
     
  4. RosePetals76

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    I think you're over thinking, personally. It looks adorable and I say I love you to my friends, gay, straight, bi, or what have you, all the time.
     
  5. Creativemind

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    I think you're overthinking it. Especially between two girls, I love you is easily seen as platonic, and this is a very silly/cute way of showing it. I wouldn't think anything romantic about it at all.
     
  6. HappyGirlLucky

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    Thank you all so much for your input! I am really glad I decided to ask here about it. I was just about ready to decide the mug was a horrible idea, but after reading these posts I realize just how much I was overthinking it. She will love this mug!

    @Shorthaul: Yes, this is definitely not the only thing she will be getting. I will buy some nice teas and other things as well. We tend to give each other gift bags with lots of different things. :slight_smile:
     
  7. yuanzi

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    I agree with the others especially your friend does not know you have some feelings for her. It should be totally safe.

    I totally relate to it though. Before I came out, I used to go to dance classes with my friend and sometimes we would pair up and she would lead. After I came out, she told me she would not dance to 'romantic songs' with me anymore. Ugh...
     
  8. Katchoo

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  9. bi2me

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    I think it's super cute too!
     
  10. Jjanon

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    Super cute mug and it seems totally platonic! Go for it!
     
  11. Shorthaul

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    Just out of curiosity, where did you find it? My dad and sister would love it.
     
  12. HappyGirlLucky

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    I found it on here, but it seems to only be available on the European versions of the site. There are similar designs on the American one (spreadshirt.com), but they don't have the same cute dinosaur. :/
     
  13. baristajedi

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    I love this cup, and I think it's completely fine to give to your straight friend. But I totally understand your hesitation.

    I've only now started to understand just how many of my friends I crush on, sometimes just a little crush, sometimes strong intense ones. It's hard to know where and how to draw that line.
     
  14. HappyGirlLucky

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    Thanks baristajedi! I hope this crushing on friends thing goes away after being out for a while, because I need to be able to have female friends without feeling weird around them. :lol:
     
  15. Shorthaul

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  16. bi2me

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    I've come to realize that all of my close (female) friends in high school I had at least a bit of a crush on, if not a sexual relationship (to some degree) with. I seem to be wired pretty sexually interested if that's the right term/phrase. Post pretending/believing I was straight, I pretty much didn't have many female friends at all. I've never been great at maintaining a lot of relationships at once, but when I shut down that part of myself, I mostly lost interest in maintaining them at all. Working my way back into the world of women, and friendship, that's at least mostly platonic, with most of them...