Did you come out publicly or gradually?

Started coming out in February 2014. Came out to my cousin Kim who lives in TX via FB chat. I came out to my dad's side of the family by May 2014(one by one). Then, I came out to my brother around that time. In late May, I came out to my 2 cousins and aunt and uncle. I came out to my friends from college in June 2014 when we were together. I came out to my mom in early July 2014, then my dad several weeks later. My other aunt was around September 2014. I came out to most everyone except for my one bigoted aunt and a few others on 12/13/14 by FB message.

I am still closeted at work and with my one aunt, although she may know by now. Pretty much where I want to be with everything as my boss just fired my gay co-worker. Not coming out at work is hard, but it is imperative to stay closeted right now.

 

The first day of school my junior year the person I was sitting next to, and someone I had never talked to before, asked me if I was gay as soon as I spoke to her. After the initial shock of the abruptness of the question I said yes. First person I ever came out to.

 

Came out to about 20 people that are closest to me face to face, through letters. Then posted a Facebook status for the rest of the world.

 

I came out slowly and only to family. Big Bro and I share a room and he sat me down and told me he knew and that it was cool with him. And for a month he kept telling me Mom would be cool also. When I told her she said she kind of figured it but was hoping I wasn't. Dad was silent for a couple of hours and then told me same as Mom and Big Bro. They all love me, support me, but wish I wasn't as it was going to be tough on me living in the South, USA

 

I came out very gradually to friends and family (told my closest friends one by one over a number of weeks), told my family a couple of years later again one by one, and I've told colleagues in person. After telling close friends and family, I just made it 'facebook' official that I was with my partner, and then put up photos of our wedding. I never made a big public statement about it, but those I was friends with online could see it.

I was surprised that only one person removed me as a friend after that (someone who I had been very close to in the past but not so much anymore) And given the widespread support from friends, family, acquaintances and colleagues, it's not something that I feel bad about at all. But just do what you feel comfortable with, there's nothing wrong with telling people gradually until you're sure, you've got to keep yourself safe, but once you've got that safety net of people around you who support you, then don't worry about what others think and feel free to be out and proud.

 

Gradually I told people. Some people who know: first it was my parents and sister. Then as I started making friends, I told most of them. My favorite aunt also knows. Some people I wouldn't tell include my grandmother (she's rich, I would hate to lose my inheritance) and some of the people I work with who are Christians.

 

Technically, all three. :lol:

But I chose gradually, because it's the closest to the truth.

Why it's social media- On Facebook I have my "interested in" section set to "women". It isn't obvious, as you'd have to go on my "about me" section to find it but yes I am out on social media. I don't post anything particularly LGBT related though, and I don't really mention it. Except when I had that rainbow filtered picture.

Why it's other- because I was outed in secondary school to a load of people I didn't even know. I was often the punchline to gay jokes and had a hard time convincing people I was straight. Two girls would tease me and kept bugging me constantly asking if I was gay and laughing at me when I'd deny it.

http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anony...999-bullying-how-can-complicate-identity.html

(I posted that thread anonymously before but then ended up coming out as the creator of the thread).

Why it's gradually- I moved to a different area shortly after being outed (not because I was outed, my parents don't know what happened, or about me for that matter) where no one knew me. So, now I get to come out gradually. I've come out to a few people here. Not anyone in my family, but a few of my friends know.

---------- Post added 5th Jul 2016 at 12:50 AM ----------

I know it's a long thread so I'd recommend checking out post #1 and #16. That sums a lot of it up. But you're welcome to read any of it, if at all.

 

Gradually ... i told a few good friends about it and others just found it out later. I'm not a person who talks so much about their identity & preferences so some of my friends know about it and some don't ^^

 

Gradually. I came out to friends in 2013, and family in 2014

 

Gradually, then publicly when there were still too many old friends and family members I still had to tell.