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Seeking advice

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by DreamingLove, Jun 30, 2016.

  1. DreamingLove

    Regular Member

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    I just got out from a relationship that lasted around 6 months.He was having some difficulties in his life as well as me,I waited since he asked for me to give him some time,and then stopped caring about me altogheter.

    It was my first ever relationship,and now I am left with a pain in my heart that feels like it will never pass,I truly wanted him back but there is nothing to...

    I know I am only 17,friends and my mother says there will be many more relationships in my life.

    But I'm not sure,I have anxiety issues,I've never been the most confident guy.I met him online and when I log in now everyone seems so distant,I feel like I'll never find someone else again..

    To the experienced with relationship people out there,can you give some advice on how to move on?I feel so lost and empty,my heart is aching.
     
  2. Spotofpaint

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    I'm so sorry you're heart broken! Your first relationship is always so special and it is devastating when it's over. I remember my high school sweetheart and I still get choked up when I think of her, even though it's been decades and I'm now married to the love of my life. Your first relationship will always have a special place in your heart, even though eventually you WILL move on. It get's better I promise. And although it seems impossible right now, eventually you will find the right person and fall in love again.

    But for the time being my advice to you is to just let it hurt. Don't let people diminish your feelings because you're so young. Heart ache is heart ache no matter what age you are. And any older person can tell you the story about their first relationship. I don't care if they're 80 years old, we all remember our first love. So know that your relationship and your break up are important!

    If you need to cry it out or scream it out or (for me) write/paint it out, then you do what you gotta do. Talk to people you care about if you need to. Or if you don't want to talk go ahead and hold yourself up in your room and listen to music for a while (but not for too long or you'll get depressed!). There's no real good way to get over a break up. The only thing to do is give it time, and maybe hang with friends who can help you through it. The hurt becomes less a little bit every day until finally you're able to look at other people and be attracted to them, or at the very least focus on other things like school or work.

    I wish I could give you a hug! Hang in there!
     
  3. Kiran

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    First relationship is always special? Lol. I'm not sure who was my first partner. :grin: First kiss etc. I won't tell a story because the first relationship didn't matter for me. I'm over 30. I couldn't care less. Spotofpaint, don't use "everybody" and "always" because any negative invalidates your point.

    Mourn and move on. Just don't try to talk to him and delete his contact. It helps. You will find better people and other loves, just like your family tells you.
     
  4. SpaceOddity

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    When my husband and I split up I truly thought I would never find happiness ever again. It took me years to be able to accept it and to be able to move on. Every situation is different. Whether it's your first or your seventh it doesn't matter, the hurt is the same. I understand.

    You need to take time for yourself. You need to take time to figure out you, to find yourself and to soul search and just roll with the punches. Eventually everything will fall into place even though it may not seem like it right now but it will. You can't just "forget, delete and move on" it's not that simple. But accept, process and move on. You will be okay.