Is it possible for someone like me to find a boyfriend?

I think - and this is just from what I've read, no personal experience - that there are people out there that would be attracted to you for more than your body, or maybe your body as it is now, which attracts them to you as a person, which keeps them attracted to you when you physically transition. My sister, for example, identifies as straight because she's only ever been attracted to men, but she strongly believes that she's attracted to the individual, not the gender, so if her husband found out that he was trans, she'd still probably love him and be attracted to him-her? - as a woman. I've heard of a couple cases where that situation has actually happened. Or, like you said, if you date someone that is bi, it might be easier attraction wise. I think it's definitely possible for someone to be attracted to your female genitals and your male-aligned everything else.
But, again, not my area of expertise.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/society...-dad-breastfeeding-pregnancy-trevor-macdonald

There was at least one gay dude who wanted to be with a trans man with female plumbing.

 

Hi friend.

I can understand your worries and thoughts in their entirety. Afterall, I'm a MtF trans woman who has the appearance of a highschool boys basketball player, tall sleek and semi muscular.

I thought to myself, who could possibly be attracted to a girl that looks like, sounds like, and is assumed to be a boy? Well, the answer is quite satisfactory: A ton of people. Ah, but it is not a ton of people you seek, but just one with whom you can spend either a large part of your life with or even all of your years.

There are 7.4 billion people in the world, and that means there are 7.4 billion different types of people too. I can guarentee you with the utmost certainty, that there are several, several, people that would not only be attracted to your body, but to you as a person. In addition, those same people will be attracted to your body nonetheless of how it appears, even if it it juxtaposes your personality.

I don't know if you believe in true love, but I can assure you that with the right person, you and they can love truly and without worry. It is entirely possible for you to find a partner, in fact– anything is possible, when you think about it.

Good luck in your searching, friend. I know that if you put your mind to seeking out love, that you will find it. Possibly try an online dating service, I know it is a scary thought but it can help you to reach out to those people that will be attracted to your body and mind nonetheless of its appearance.

 

First off, there are a few misconceptions here:

1) Gay men can be interested in trans men and NB AFAB's. Yes, there will be some that will only be interested in cis people, but this is a "everyone is varied" sort of thing.

2) Not all bisexuals date trans people and view their partner as the "gender" they perceive their "physical sex" to be. Many are open-minded and view you as the gender you are with some different plumbing. Many will even respect if you don't want your genitals touched. Yes, there are those who will disrespect your gender identity but again this is varied and not a sexual orientation thing.

3) GAY men can treat trans men and NB AFAB's as women just as much as anyone else. Some gay men will date you out of being closeted and wanting to "prove they can be with a woman" while at the same time finding someone "male-centered" enough to have the best of both worlds. So avoiding bisexuals does not make you safe and may still get you victimized by gay men.

There are a lot of stereotypes in here. Some cis gay and straight people don't want to date bisexuals because they think they will cheat, or will give them HIV, and I see this as a similar thing. Yes, it might happen, but It's not 100% guaranteed to, and you miss out on some great people by limiting yourself.

 

I vote that you stop worrying about whether you'll find someone. It'll give you a headache (surprised if it hasn't already) and will only leave you feeling like emotional crap.

Try to find peace with yourself...get to the point where you are ok on your own. Because *you* are actually great company.

Meanwhile, keep interacting with people and somewhere/somehow, it will happen. They often say it happens when you aren't expecting it. Remember that the more people you come across, the more likely you are to find someone for you. Do everything in your power to be more social. Your best bet is if you aren't afraid to take risks/make moves. Most of us sit and wonder about *one* person for several months or even years...it's such a waste.

 

Putting this out there to answer your question. I'm one of those people.

My last girlfriend was MTF and pre-everything, hadn't even socially transitioned yet and we were frequently called "gentlemen" on dates. I never saw her as anything other than female though, and it was all in her wonderful personality and the way she carried herself.

 

I'm in a very similar situation (to the OP), but I'm in a relationship, which is scary in its own way. I have no definite answers, but I honestly think and hope that you will find someone who wants you for you. If you need to talk about this some more, message me. Good luck (*hug*)

 

I'm that Disney dreamer who believes there's someone out there for everyone, and that love will find you in the weirdest of places sometimes.

I know for me, as a trans guy, I thought I'd be forever alone because I'm trans--feeling that's going to make me undesirable. But I was proven wrong after I found a super sweet guy who is a nerd like I am and we're going on almost four years strong into our relationship--and I met him on BlogTV through a mutual friend of ours when I was a junior in high school. Try not to lose all hope, especially because you're so young and have your whole life ahead of you. You'll find the right person, I know it

 

I think you might be overthinking a bit. You're AFAB and attracted to guys. You don't want to undergo surgery. You have minimal dysphoria. Well, although I don't have a big picture of your situation I'd say you could pass as a (genderfluid/agender) tomboy, which gives you a bigger dating poll. How bad exactly passing as a girl affects you?
If being considered a tomboy (girl, after all) is out of the question for you, then excuse my input.