What are you thinking?

Oh look, 10 more days until I turn 16. Now it's time for bed.

 

So, I met a guy on a dating site and we actually went on a dinner date on Christmas Eve (I was only free on that day and he was open to it). I actually really enjoyed it, but it was a bit awkward for several reason. He currently doesn't drive because of anxiety so I offered to pick him up, but then his dad was a bit paranoid (he barely came out and maybe he's afraid he'd be taken advantage of or catfished or God knows what) and so his sister drove him. It was a bit awkward meeting the sister (she was so nice) and I even offered her to join us but she declined and left. Then his dad picked him up (didn't actually meet him). He later told me his sister said I was a nice guy, which was nice and his family seemed excited about him dating (he barely came out this year and is battling a bit of depression and going to college).

I invited him to go to the zoo at night this weekend (they open the zoo in the evening and have holiday lights all over the park) and he accepted. Logistically, I said if he either wanted his sister to drop him off (20 minute drive) and stay with us (I would get her a ticket to join us) or have me pick him up. He said I could pick him up but his dad would feel better if I spoke to him beforehand. It almost feels like I'm going to junior prom :lol:. This will also be the first time I ever meet a date's parent(s).

In a way I am both nervous and awkwardly excited. I know for many people in my age (he's one year younger than me) range going out on a date who has this kind of relationship with his family might be a non-starter, but I'm willing to actually try this out. I am just afraid our current situation might put me in a dominant situation. At the same time, I've never actually dated a person, so in some circumstances we are in the same shoe. Plus, of all the guys in my city, he actually was ranked as having one of the highest "matches" with me, so there's that.

 

I hate nine-hour shifts. Why do I keep letting my boss drag me into them?

 

I wonder if I'll ever tell my parents, and how that would go.

Also, I'm thinking about how I started off liking the artwork I did but starting to go off it now. Maybe I'm just being too critical. Oh well, I need to start on some homework now.

:dry:

 

I just feel like I'll never be able to tell my family, and they'll never take me seriously as a woman anyway....

 

So I told myself that I'll start distancing myself around everyone next year.

 

Goddammit, 2016 strikes again. Now the actress who played Princess Leia in the original Star wars trilogy has died, too. What the hell, 2016? At least take Trump or Phil Robertson or someone nobody will miss!

 

:lol:
I was thinking the same!

about Carrie.

 

I just found out and I thought it was a joke, because her family said she was fine yesterday. Jesus, 2016...who hurt you?

 

Two gone this month (that I know of)... is there a quota for this year? Brutal.

 

Puerto Vallarta: so many beautiful bodies, so much truly ridiculous swimwear.

 

I wish my mom wouldn't have to insist on me not telling her I might be trans ftm and shout that I'm her daughter and not son.....

I think she would be better off without me, and everyone else, too...

 

You can be unique or loved, not both

 

It feels good to be out of school for 2 weeks.

 

First, Carrie Fisher... :tears: My heart sunk, when I heard of her death. I love Star Wars (well, not the prequels, but still) and Leia was probably my favourite character in the originals. I watched The Force Awakens, which today is my favourite Star Wars film, a couple of days ago and I loved Leia in it. Now it's just sad...

Second, I really should watch The Lord of The Rings again, it's been too long...

 

A bunch of my aunts and cousins were over all afternoon, and it was so fun reminiscing about old childhood memories. The best was the game we invented in their basement: a hybrid of rugby and full-contact basketball. Got quite a few bruises back then lol.

 

Carrie Fisher
I have said that I would die for her many times before, but now I will live for her. I will live for Carrie Fisher. She was such an inspiration, she fought until the end.

 

1) Everyone is dying
2) Who thought crumpets shaped as Christmas trees would be a good idea and why?
3) Aldous Huxley was on something when he wrote " Brave New World"

 

I'm so sad about Carrie. So strong and brave, she will be very missed.

---------- Post added 27th Dec 2016 at 05:33 PM ----------

My dog is sleeping next to me on my bed. I love her so much.